Another bad day

[Brentlyp]

I had yet another bad day. It started like every other day. I woke up and told myself I'm gonna smile and be happy today, then I got out of bed and failed at that. I immediately was overcome with anxiety and sadness. The loneliness is horrible. I work with a lot of great people but I'm still lonely. I just mope around. People must just look at me and think about how pathetic I look. I just want someone I can talk to about all of these feelings but I don't think anyone wants to hear it. There's seriously not a day where I don't think about not being around. I'm not suicidal, I have no intentions of hurting myself, but I still have the thoughts of not wanting to be here. Does anyone else feel that way? Anyways, I just wanted to put some thoughts down. I would love to hear from someone if they have the time. Thanks and peace be with all of you.

[heavyheart38]

I am exactly the same, jealous of happiness, just because i crave it and get basically nothing but insulted or put down.

[4EverMe]

Hello,
Yes, I've had days/nights when I actually prayed for God to take me in my sleep.
Well, I'm here to answer your post, so obviously it's not my time to go...This means, to me, that if I've a purpose to live, that maybe I should be grateful.

I'm sorry for your pain. Do you see a counselor/doctor?

[Ieris]

Hello Brentiyp,

I don't think you should tell yourself you are going to smile and be happy everyday, if you feel happy you will naturally smile, don't force it. Setting that goal everyday is only going to leave you feeling disappointed because you have the expectation of hitting that spot and when you don't your mood sinks lower than what you started the day with.

You want to get from sad -> happy. You may have your reasons as to why you are sad but the key point here is the " -> " part meaning the process/actions and happy is the end result. What actions are you taking in order to be happy? What would make you happy?

It is similar to being poor -> rich. People complain about being poor and dream about being rich. But it is the actions in between that takes you from one end to the other. Pure thinking, talking, dreaming, wishing isn't going to take you there.

You said that you don't want to be here, have you given some thought as to where you want to be? The answer is inside you somewhere... So answer to yourself and hopefully this can lead you to a clear decision as to what needs to be done in order to get to where you want to be.

x

[FearfullyMade]

I feel the same way. I feel so weird and out of place and sometimes I feel nothing at all - and to me, that's even scarier.
To others, I seem rather jovial, engaging, happy - although that baffles me; with others I come across as sad and depressing. I am really not sure how I seem to have two contradictory personalities. I mean, really!
But it's so lonely. I want to tell someone; I want to say something but I can't. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of confessing my deepest thoughts to my friends to find that they don't get me.
I don't know how stupid this sounds but I feel like such a retard.
People gossip about me and make fun of me. Apparently everything about me is weird apparently and I am genuinely sorry about that. I am trying to accept that I am maybe just weird.

#Don't even know if this is much of a confession