I discovered a bit more about my binge eating

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I discovered a bit more about my binge eating

Postby karolanne » Wed Sep 11, 2013 1:33 pm

Hello folks,

Yesterday, I binge ate. While I was trying to resist to it, I asked myself many questions as I always do. This time, I discovered that after my day, being abble to go through it, I mean making it to the end of the day, I feel I deserve something to reward myself. And for now, that thing is to eat a lot. I think there is something else too about that binge eat. But let's go one step at a time...

Since last night, I ask myself what can replace the food. I find absolutly nothing. It seems what I like in life is to eat.

What are your ways to reward yourself? Maybe you can give me some ideas...

Thanks folks.

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Postby sunforyou » Thu Sep 12, 2013 3:49 am

I think the best reward is a massage,or manicure or new hair style..
Food is just a dellusion of reward....it makes u feel good just for short time and problems caused by overeating just make us feel worse later.

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Postby Alaska1958 » Thu Sep 12, 2013 3:52 am

I'm watching the Doors movie with Val Kilmore and I'm fascinated by the smoking, the booze, the drugs and the wild life of Jim Morriso. II've never been drunk and can't stand alcohol, never smokeda ccigarette and the only drug I've tried is canibus.

But food, that is a whole nother story. I've beena ccompulsive eater since the mid 70s. In 2000 I hit a high point of 500 pounds, had insulin dependant diabetes, high blood pressure and sleep apnea.

Probably the only reason I'm still alive is the gastric bypass surgery I had 13 years ago. I've eaten quite a bit today (it's still Wednesday here) and I'm thinking of putting a frozen pizza in the oven. For whatever reason I haven't been able to control my eating for most of the last 30 years.

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Postby karolanne » Thu Sep 12, 2013 10:07 am

Hi there,

Sunforyou: those are good ideas, but I can't afford that every day not even once a week. Since I wake up every morning with suicidal thoughs, the fact that I make it through my day makes me feel I deserve a reward everyday. But yes, you are right about the food reward. That is why I posted this topic.

Alaska1958 : Here now, to have a gastric bypass, you have to go through some tests including an appointment with a psychiatrist. Mentally ill candidates like me aren't allowed to get that surgery. And to be honest, I'm not sure I want to go through that anyway. My dad had it many many years ago. But since he suffered from an eating disorder too, even if he got the surgery, he continued to eat like he did before wich brings him to throw up after each meal every single day. And one day, his bypass suture broke and he got in emergency and was real sick. Oh, yes, he lost a lot of weight, but I don't think that worth all that...

I was once addicted to alcohol, then heavy drugs. Now, it's food. I am an addicted, a dependant person. I have years of therapy behind me, but I went from so far away, I still have a very long road ahead of me. And to tell the truth, after behing 10 years clean of alcohol and drugs, I was so tired to be fat that I started to smoke and take drugs again only to lose weight, wich was a real bad idea since I got addicted again and had to go through the withdrawel process again. And at the end, I didn't lose any weight but I certainly burned a lot of cells in my brain... Alcohol and drugs are real bad for you. Too much food isn't good for health, but for now, I prefer that addiction than the others I had before...

I really need to find another way to reward myself. Maybe I can call my niece after each day of work since I really like to talk to her. But it's nice that we talk once a week, everyday, I'm not sure. lol I guess at a certain point, we won't know what to tell to each other. lol

Well, folks, I'm not sure anyone of you will have the courage to read all my text. LOL :lol:

Take care!

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Postby Frame » Thu Oct 03, 2013 9:18 am

I'm so confused. I think I'll put this paragraph last. No I'll leave it here. Maybe I'll just copy it...

It's interesting Karolanne, I have a personality that also takes things to excess. I wish I knew what my next excess will be maybe I could market it. Right now it seems like lethargy is my excess. It takes me half the day to get going. I sleep; which I can't understand since sleep has always been my worst struggle. But almost the whole day a black cloud hangs over my mind, my heart, my body. I exercise, deal with customers, stand around in a slurry of despair. The whole time there is this anger with the universe that I have to exist, that I have to live. It doesn't really occur to me that I can die [oh sure it does, be we all know it's not that simple.] I'm just going through motions of doing as little as I possibly can get my body to do. Just writing this seems insane; insane to think and more work than it's worth to write. ...the story of my days these days.

My point is my excesses used to be surrounding some action as opposed to stasis. (Maybe that explains my better sleep.) That seems to have changed. But your excesses surround an action, mostly ingestion it sounds like; eating, drinking, drugs... What are some other things you might ingest to fill that hole inside you; mystery novels, iced tea, actually the broccoli sounded (strange but) not so bad, cole slaw without too much dressing? I wonder if you started a blog here or somewhere on the web and promised yourself you would write your worst fears every night. Something to excess but not too harmful. Painting pictures of people kicking black dogs?

I'm so confused. I think I'll put this paragraph last. No I'll leave it here. Maybe I'll just copy it...

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Postby SMcGregor » Thu Oct 03, 2013 9:30 am

In order to feel good, the following seven factors must be present in our lives:

- good nutrition
- fresh air
- sunshine
- physical activity
- purposeful activity
- good relationships
- adequate and regular sleep

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Postby hollyann » Thu Oct 03, 2013 1:40 pm

Hi Karolanne.

Rewarding yourself by reading a book that you've been wanting to read. If you can't get a new one, maybe check one out from the library.

Rewarding yourself by soaking longer in a bubble bath.

Going for a walk, or going to a special place where you feel at peace, doesn't have to cost, but maybe a spot at the park.

Deciding as a reward you are going to treat yourself to a certain movie. You don't have to go out to do this. Just pick one out ahead of time that you like from the ones you own, or from the tv guide. And be like, if I do this, then on this day, I get to watch this.

Just some suggestions.

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