Rant about people. Accepting thoughts and advice.

[Persy]

Since I can remember, people have always screwed me out of things. Ive felt bad and let them walk on me. I do have my moments where I stand up for myself, but they dont come often anymore because I dont get out much anymore.

My graduation from high school is in a week, and its required to sign up for a walking partner. Not having any close friends, I felt alone and that no one really gave a crap. However, I did manage to branch out and find a guy who didnt have a partner. He agreed and I signed us up.

Now, his best friend who just learned about signing up for partners A WEEK before graduation wants me to give up the guy. I am so mad I just want to scream. Does he really think that is acceptable? its his own fault, because they have been telling us for months to get a move on. And the one time I try to be assertive, Im the bad guy. People are so messed up and I honestly feel as though me and my family are cursed with a social disease, where everyone just uses us and throws us away. Im just the backup friend and always have been. I just want to curl up and die some times because I feel like people just want me for what I can give them, not because they like me for who I am. Everyone who liked me for who I am has either broken up with me, or we are distant friends who dont have a whole lot in common anymore.

Is it just that highschool age? Or will everyone try use me in college and beyond? Im feeling hopeless.

For facts: I am a female that is almost 18..and on medication for depression though its not working as well as it used to, and I am in counseling, though not as much as I used to be. Im also in that awkward transitioning to college stage of my life and feel as though I wont amount to anything. Depression often leaves me in my bed all day and going out with semi-friends just makes me nervous. I need to find a job, but its tight where Im living and I just am lacking motivation.

[dougsan]

My opinion? Keep the guy or tell the "friend" to get you an acceptable substitute. It's saddens me to read of your depression related difficulties. Take heart in the knowledge many of us in this forum have been where you are and have come out to live better lives. It will not be easy, you know that already, but you will do it. The meDs and a therapist are both Aces. Maybe the therapist can work on your prescription a bit?

When depression at its worst hits me it feels like I'm not on meds (Cymbalta). Then I take Seraquel (sp). My lesson from this is meds don't cure me they just help me get through the day and sometimes the meds need a little help.

I hpe you keep reading and posting in DU. I find reading, sharing and complaining here is the best medicine.

[Persy]

Thanks, dougsan.
I think Im making a decision to write that kid back and tell him no and that he's really dumb for asking this late before graduation (its probably too late to sign up anyway)

And yes, I probably need to get back into counseling more frequently for the next couple weeks and have my dose upped. I keep in mind that meds wouldnt cure me, but I felt so great when I first was on them it was incredible. o.e drugs are truely something else. lol.

Thanks for giving advice and symathetic words, I really just needed to vent and have oppinions for that little problem hahaha. I appreciate it and will probably hang around here for a while lol.