Depression Understood Forums

I thought I had the best friend support group, but as years have past, I have noticed a pattern with them. Each has some kind of MAJOR drama that seems to run constant. WHY does it take me SO long to recognize such.

I have my depression under control and I thought I was being careful when choosing healthy friends.

I seem to always be the strong one giving them FREE counseling support.

It makes me want to end trying to work at having friends at all. It just seems SO not worth it.

Sigh, I am SO bummed as I have worked so hard to gain what I thought was a healthy circle of friends.

Are you experiencing this?
Can anyone share on this topic?

Sometimes it takes becoming well enough to recognize this. Finding a true friend is worth it. I'm sorry its been so difficult for you.

hollyann

I feel you. I would spend so much energy on this friend or that, bending over backward to help, really i guess over extending. Then they would do something awful to devesate any trust i could have, then split. It would hurt way more than a lost lover type relationship. Sorry to say it but i gave up. I sit alone, and in the darkest times have not one person to confide in. Its bleak. I hope yours is less so, and i have empathy for you. Take care and i hope it gets better.

hollyann wrote:Sometimes it takes becoming well enough to recognize this. Finding a true friend is worth it. I'm sorry its been so difficult for you.

hollyann

Hi, Hollyann,
Thank you for your response. I do have other healthier friends, but they live states away as I moved. I guess I just needed to verbalize my latest self-discovery. It just sickened me when I realized at how one- sided the relationships had become with me doing mostly emotionally for them 80% of the time. Sigh-------------it was also saddening that possibly I will never be a healthy person due to a continual pattern of choosing unhealthy ones in my life.

Airstream267 wrote:I feel you. I would spend so much energy on this friend or that, bending over backward to help, really i guess over extending. Then they would do something awful to devesate any trust i could have, then split. It would hurt way more than a lost lover type relationship. Sorry to say it but i gave up. I sit alone, and in the darkest times have not one person to confide in. Its bleak. I hope yours is less so, and i have empathy for you. Take care and i hope it gets better.

Oh, Airstream, yes, it's nice to hear from someone that can understand. Thank you. Mine didn't break trust nor impose ugly behavior. The relationships became almost one-sided with me doing emotionally for each one of them 80% of the time. We will be moving soon and that will help, but, I'm really not interested in wanting to start up new friendships. For now, until I'm willing to risk again, I will take a break. I am fortunate that I am married, so that helps. This seems like a good safe place to come to to share feelings, so I hope that will bring some comfort to you.
I wish for positive changes for you, too.