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Throwing away my razor blades

Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 6:31 pm
by Ryaninatree
Well another relationship seems to have ended for me again. Apparently Celina and I have not worked out all that well. She decided that her heart was not ready for this and I can agree that i feel the same. It certainly sucks as i was starting to develop feelings for her. I can't imagine it is really over but there is definitely a chance of it. So once again I feel that total empty depressed feeling that we all love so much. Its really compounded as I am really not completely over Halle. I am over her to speak but not the relationship and all that we have shared. I am not mad at Celina she certainly is a great person. I guess it was just too early for us as the scars from our past have not fully healed. I am not ready to give up on her, we had way too much fun together. Seems the more fun we had the more scared we both got. Its only fair to say we both need a little space and time. I hope things work out. I stopped taking Lexapro about a couple months ago. I really didnt think it was helping me much. I thought I was doing good untill this happened but I am coping. Its hard that Celina would call and text me numerous times every day and now there is nothing. My phone does not ring at all any more. Its a lonely feeling. I'm coping but its real hard. Real hard! I'm so f-ing tired of feeling down. I try to fight it off as much as possible. Sometimes I just don't have the strength. This morning was tuff as I planned out exactly how to take myself out of this world and a few notes I would write to appologize to some family and friends. I am mad at myself for thinking this. I told my mother. I will continue to fight it and I hope everyone else has the courage to win there own battles.

Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 7:22 pm
by Warmsoul/Jeanie13
(((((((((((((((((Ryan)))))))))))))))))))

So you know I did read and my heart goes out to you. The hug is an understanding and gentle one.

Warmie/Jeanie 8)

Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 9:59 pm
by Emotional_77
aawwwww.. ((((((((((Ryan)))))))))))

Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 12:39 pm
by Warmsoul/Jeanie13
((((((((((((((( Ryaninatree )))))))))))))))))

Miss you!!!!!

Warmie/Jeanie