Back to where I started
Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 8:21 am
Things seemed like they were looking up. At the beginning of the month, I had gone through the ceremony of graduation from College with double majors in professional and creative writing. On top of that I managed to get a job at Wal-Mart doing overnight stocking. I thought that it would be a good thing that I finally managed to get a job.
But then I was wrong. The job was physically demanding on my arms, my feet and my back. And on top of that I there was this boss I had by the name of Stacy. A middle-aged woman who had the attitude towards me like a Southern Plantation Slave Driver. Even when I was working at my most fast in picking up boxes, putting them on the shelves and going back again it still wasn't fast enough.
I told her that I was trying but she gave me the ultimatum of "Do it or don't."
I already know how useless I am as a human being but I don't think I need any reinforcement from someone like her.
There were times when the stress got to be so much that I went into the bathroom and held the box cutter above my arm and thought how easy it would be to just run it up my arm as if it were the edge of an ordinary box and let the contents spill on the floor. Because those were my options working under her, unemployment or death. And really death seemed so much better. It made me think that perhaps VanGough, Hemmingway and Kurt Cobain had the right idea all along.
So, I quit my job there. Because no matter how fast I went, even with risking injury to my back, my arms and my feet, it was still not fast enough.
So that's it. I'm never good enough for anything.
But then I was wrong. The job was physically demanding on my arms, my feet and my back. And on top of that I there was this boss I had by the name of Stacy. A middle-aged woman who had the attitude towards me like a Southern Plantation Slave Driver. Even when I was working at my most fast in picking up boxes, putting them on the shelves and going back again it still wasn't fast enough.
I told her that I was trying but she gave me the ultimatum of "Do it or don't."
I already know how useless I am as a human being but I don't think I need any reinforcement from someone like her.
There were times when the stress got to be so much that I went into the bathroom and held the box cutter above my arm and thought how easy it would be to just run it up my arm as if it were the edge of an ordinary box and let the contents spill on the floor. Because those were my options working under her, unemployment or death. And really death seemed so much better. It made me think that perhaps VanGough, Hemmingway and Kurt Cobain had the right idea all along.
So, I quit my job there. Because no matter how fast I went, even with risking injury to my back, my arms and my feet, it was still not fast enough.
So that's it. I'm never good enough for anything.