need advise about therapy

[purdyflower]

Ok so I've been in therapy for like 5 years, and have seen 2 different therapists. My first one left the clinic. Going to therapy has helped my anxiety alot, and sorta my depression. But I still have alot of depression and I just feel like being in therapy for 5 years is a really long time, and I just don't know if it is helping anymore. And I feel kinda bad for my therapist whenever I go and am really depressed, cuz he has to be tired of me not getting better! So I guess my question is, should I quit therapy or keep going? I just don't know. I've been debating this for a long time. Any suggestions or advise? Thanks!

[crystalgaze]

If it were me, I would keep going. Does your therapist offer suggestions or does the person just listen?

I had a counselor in college, & it helped me to get through it.

The only other thing I could think of is to try to formulate a plan to better cope with your therapist. It's something you could run by that person to see what thoughts/advice he/she might have.

[purdyflower]

It just seems that we talk about the same things over and over, and I know it's my fault cuz I don't do some of the things we talk about. I think I'm kinda tired of going because nothing is changing and it's the same stuff every time. I don't know lol By the way, thanks for responding!

[crystalgaze]

Not a problem, & thank you for your kindness + graciousness!

You can still change it up, alright?

It's your decision ultimately, so do what's best for you!

You could stop going for a while, see how you do without it for a bit. However, if you have any problems--major ones especially--go back immediately.

It's up to you. Let us all do our best!

[St8arrow]

Hello "purdyflower"

Thank you for providing a good background to your current dilemma. Is your current therapist a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist? They have a better than average reputation for being able to help people such as you.

In the unpublished book that I have written about psychology; there is a subheading of psychiatrist's whose main job seems to be "hooking" well to do patients into long term therapy.

The next therapist you see, after giving your background story, ask point-blank how long he or she thinks it will take to achieve some kind of better success than what you have experienced over the last 5 years.

If the therapist seems to be stumbling around for an answer or even worse, if he or she appears to be almost in a state of shock at your question, --- Look Elsewhere!!

After my first wife died, I was left to look after our 14 year old daughter. Because of a variety of problems, my daughter and I decided to see a family counselor. After a cursory explanation of our problems, he suggested that we would need a large number of sessions to correct our problems. I spent a considerable amount of time filling him in on the background of our story, which took a second meeting.

I then asked him what he thought about our situation? What advice did he have to offer us? He bolted upright and seemed to be in shock. I said, obviously you were thinking of other thoughts, probably that had nothing to do with us. If you are not interested in hearing about our situation, I am not interested in wasting my time talking to you.

I didn't come here to talk and not be offered any help. My daughter can come here and see you if she likes but I won't be coming back. We never saw him again. My daughter is now 48 and I am lucky enough to be able to say that her and I are the very best of friends.

I didn't realize it at the time but perhaps the best lesson my daughter got out of all of this was that one did not have to be timid in the presence of an "authority" figure. She used this advice at other times in her life also.

[hollyann]

Hi. If this therapist isn't working for you. You can maybe see about getting another one. I have had many therapists over the last 12 years and the thing I've noticed is some of them I respond better to than others. And there have been times I've gone and absolutely got nothing out of the therapy. Then I started realizing that I wasn't putting anything into it. The thing is with most of what people go through, they didn't get like this over night, and it takes a while to get better too.It can be done though. You have to decide what you want out of it. And if you are uncomfortable doing a suggestion say so. They might have another one.

Best of luck
holly

[St8arrow]

Congratulations hollyann:

That's another side of the coin and it is a good one.

[purdyflower]

wow! Thanks for all of your replies and suggestions! I think I might talk to my therapist and tell him how i'm feeling "stuck" and am questioning whether i am benefiting from therapy anymore. Maybe he will have some new suggestions.

[sweety0528]

[hope1968]

sweety0528, maybe it's too late to respond to this, but I wanted to anyway. It sounds like you're worried about what your T thinks/feels, which is nice, but it's really not your problem. You don't really know what she's thinking or feeling. If you're feeling stuck, you need to let her know. I you think she's frustrated and bored, maybe you could let her know you're picking up those vibes, too? I mentioned to a therapist once something similar, and he was surprised and told me it was important to let him know when I was feeling that way, so we could move forward together.
Her job is to help you, not be entertained by you. If you're not moving forward, you need to ask her for her help on this.
I hope I've been helpful, and that things feel better for you soon!