Depression Understood Forums

I know recently I posted about my mom's addiction to drugs. I am working on remedying that situation but I need to look at myself as well. I know I need help. I am a schizophrenic and have severe mood issues. But the worst thing I am facing is my addiction to food. I currently am battling this and not doing well by it. Food has become such a crutch when I am upset its not even funny. If I do not have something to eat I become irrationally moody and its come to the point where I have to face it.

This is not the first time for me I actually managed to get surgery done about 4 years ago. I had been doing well with the weight loss then it stalled then personal issues cropped up and once again I went to my crutch. I went from losing almost 50 lbs to gaining it back and then some and I am trying to figure out what I can do about this. My only child is only 6 years old I do not want to drop dead on him from this I have an appointment with a gastroenterologist and I am hoping I can finally get myself together to kick this before it kills me.

I used to be ashamed to be fat when I was younger it was personal reasons family constantly reminding me that thin was better. THen after I was sexually assaulted the fat became a protective barrier between me and others. I figured if I am big no one will want to bother me in that way. When I finally did let someone in to get married he went from finding me attractive to not after a few years and that made me even more resentful. It was not till getting away from him and having my son that I realized I wanted to lose weight seriously for health issues. I was scared to get the bariatric surgery but went threw with it and thought my life would turn around health wise.

But I let things get to me, and now I find myself a few months from 35 weighing more then I should and its not helping my depression either. Once again thank you for these forums Its nice to vent and talk on here.

Hi there Kalari.

What do you eat when you got very upset?

Here is a way to start reigning in the issue.

Do you have a favorite fruit? Try that. (I happen to love green apples, so I'm inclined to eat that.)

If not, still try to have better food options in your surroundings. (e.g. fresh raw apples, cherries, strawberries, etc. Something that you won't mind eating & even if you throw *a little* bit of honey on it, it won't hurt you too badly.)

I happen to like sour things, so eating something sour usually does it for me. (e.g. Tamarind, sour lemon/orange juice or lime juice... so I'll usually do something like sour lemon/sour orange water, cucumbers with lime & a dash of black pepper + salt.)

What happens to me is after eating something that sour, I usually can't be upset anymore or even take it on for it to harm me. All I can think about is HOW SOUR that thing I was eating/drinking was or HOW NUMB my mouth went from it or HOW MY FACE TINGLED (etc).

The other part is to limit. Pick the 1 thing that you're going to have: 1 apple, 1 handful of cherries, 1 small bowl of strawberries, etc. Eat 1 healthful thing & that's it. Drink water afterwards....

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Then after you've had your healthful snack, you'll have to face what is bothering you somehow. If it is not something you can address after-the-fact, then you'll have to ask yourself:

How do I prevent such and such from happening again?

How will I manage my anger/whatever emotion it is for future situations?

How am I going to handle this so it doesn't destroy me?

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Those are basically the 3 questions I would ask myself.

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If it means you have to keep a journal to help you, then that's what you do.


Remember, you are the one in control, not other people. They can't bully you over your own life. It's yours. You are the one in control. Remember that to keep yourself empowered.

Hey Kalari

I may not be the best to offer advice since I am eating disordered, but I can relate to what your going through. I was also sexually assaulted. In my case, I dropped 20 pounds almost immediately as a way to make my femininity disappear. Three years later I find myself alternating between bulimic and anorexic tendencies.

What helps me when I want to pig out and binge is to just leave. I don't eat when I'm not at home (I don't like to spend money). You should go to the store and look at stuff, or when you want to eat and you aren't hungry, stop what you're doing and go for a walk. Or play with your son outside. Do anything to distract yourself from overeating. Once you do it enough it will become a habit and you'll feel less inclined to eat so much.

What is interesting for me is that I pig out because I am depressed, then I get more depressed because I ate so much, then I ate even more because I am depressed, etc.

Best of luck

Hi. Welcome to the forums. I'm afraid i don't know a lot about food addictions, but we do have a lot of very smart people here who really do care and want to help.

We also have a chat room associated with this site if that helps.

I understand how you feel! I guess I have sort of an eating disorder as well, often either binging or starving myself. (Never been "diagnosed" or anything.)

I started reading a lot about it, but nothing ever really seemed to help until I came across "Constant Craving" by Doreen Virtue which broaches the issue of being "emotionally hungry" when stressed out/depressed, etc. and instead of dealing with that overeating to fill that emotional void.
I like how she addresses the subject with a lot of sensitivity, the holistic angle of the book and the fact that the author used to be very overweight herself, so she *understands* what ppl with eating disorders go through. I found her advice very practical at least.
She's also written about why rape/abuse survivors often have eating disorders.

I've struggled with some anorexic thinking and behaviours in my time. But more recently I've been up against, at times, using food to fill the emotional emptiness I can feel. It's tough. Learning, through therapy, to really be with all my feelings more safely is something that really helps me.