Job Fair Gone Wrong

[Monty]

Congrats on getting an interview with the "big boss". That speaks a lot for your resume. Must be a kick-ass one.

Even if you don't get this one, sounds like you are really ready to go out and apply for jobs. You have the clothes, the shoes and accessories.

I have the same apprehension about shaving my legs. If I am going to see a specialist (have many health issues) that might look at them, I will break down and shave. Otherwise during the winter, I keep telling myself I should but haven't since my daughter's wedding in October. Believe me, it grows fast so I can almost braid it.

Think that you are on the right track.

You Go Girl

[crystalgaze]

It looks like things are looking up wouldn't you say?

I'm trying to swing this thing.... It is taking almost every ounce of my energy. I'm really trying... All I want is to be functional (for the most part), so I can take care of myself. That's it.

If I can't have any thing else, I would be fine with just that...

You Go Girl

^---(up arrow) Thanks Monty! That was perfect! You knew just what to say! A million thanks! Again... I'm trying.... (Oh my goodness! It is hard, but I'm trying....)

[crystalgaze]

All right.... Now.... the lady that the BIG BOSS forwarded my resume to called me & left a message. Her phone call came up as a private number & so I didn't pick it up because I've had so many people calling me & harrassing me & trying to curse me out because they think I am some one of the previous owner's women.

Any way, I nearly right jumped out of my skin.... I almost had rocket shoes on today... I nearly RAN to the laundry to wash my pants.... (It got dirty because my heels are lower than my original shoes that I had gotten for the outfit....)

She has a nice voice, though. I will go call her in a little bit....

Edit: I called.... & she wants to do a lunch interview.... I am currently SCREAMING in my head... "OH NOooo!!!" I gotta brush up on what flatware to use for what course & also, um... I'll have to remember not to talk with food in my mouth....

I'm gonna be so self-conscious BUT I have all day tomorrow to get myself together & under wraps (under control). O H M A N !!!

HOLY MOLY..... HOLY CRAP-OLA....

[xn728]

hey crystalgaze /onika ,this is good to hear ,i hope it goes ok for you ,keep your cool you will do just fine ,,my thoughts and hope are with you hugs xn728,,ken xxx

[Monty]

Have to head out in a few minutes but wanted to drop you a note telling you that I am going to beam out good thoughts your way tomorrow.

In addition to having a kick-ass resume, you must also do very well on interviews.

Now that you have gon on to the next tep, you are really going places. Just remember to breathe.

To say again.
You Go Girl. We are all rooting for you.

[crystalgaze]

All right.... So far so good! I went outside to wash the vehicles.... Yep.... You heard that right. ~LOL~ I don't want to mess up my clothes tomorrow!

They needed it.... You see, there's an active volcano on an island (Montserrat) a little ways down from St. Croix, so at different times in the year, we get more ash than usual.

The car looked like I hadn't even washed it!! (& I washed it about 2 to 3 weeks ago!! There was this fine fine fine dust on it! BLEH!)

My mentor spoke to the BIG BOSS & he told her that I did fine on my interview--that he didn't see what more I could have done to improve it. He was particularly impressed by how the conversation flowed (such that it didn't even really seem like an interview). YAY!

I am SO GLAD! (Phew!) One down, one to go!

Soon I will shower & try to paint my nails (neutral color)! ~LOL~ I haven't done that in a while!!! Hopefully, I won't goof!

Edit: Well, I decided not to paint my nails myself, since I had a voucher to Spencer's for a manicure... I just figured I would use that & be done. I was feeling a bit beat earlier, so I said I would go to the salon.

There are still some things for me to do, but I am a little scattered at the moment.

I'll write it here, in the hopes I don't forget....

Thank You Note
Wanted to Organize My Clothes (down to my skibbies)
Wanted to Organize My Purse & Portfolio Again

I can't think of any thing else I should be doing.... drawing a blank...


Edit @ 11:20pm-- In the last half hour to 45 minutes, I broke. I cried.... I'm...well...still crying.... I think it's a sort of shock to me. You know I don't cry any thing more than 2 tears most times.

It is silent. It's not in the least hysterical. Perhaps, I should be glad.... It is a tad on the disturbing side. This crap really hit me as I was on the road driving home, so I drove 30 most of the way then hit 60 close to the home stretch-- 2 stoplights away from Sunny Isles. I wanted to run a few red lights but didn't bother to do so.

The only thing I'm trying to do right now is damage control. I think I might be okay enough tomorrow to pull off the interview.

I told my partner that "I broke".... Of course, he didn't understand what I meant & I could not bring myself to explain it to him when he asked "Broke how? What do you mean?" I am not all for being too vulnerable in front of him or any one else for that matter--not even my parents. I really tried to avoid this break, but still it came....

That's okay.... At least my alter ego did not surface (at least not yet).... Thank you for small favors, I guess?

There is something else bothering me, but I cannot share that with any one else--at least not right now. You all will know if it ever happens.

[crystalgaze]

Goodness gracious.... Y'all I don't know what to say....

The weather is.... PISS POOR this morning! GAH!

Rain, rain & more rain.... I am hoping that the sun will come out in a bit.... I am so not feeling this meeting, but I will try to turn the negative feelings around quickly!!!

Of course, I told someone else about my break & felt that it wasn't valid (as usual). I don't know why I bothered. I should know by now that people are not equipped. I don't know why I thought there might be a different outcome. I think people will only believe or acknowledge what happens if I either a) go on a violent rampage, killing people or b) kill myself.... & even then, I don't think it would happen.

As with all things, I wonder simply why they can't just be supportive. Instead of having this ultra-reactive response, I always wonder why a simple "Don't worry: You're gonna beat it" or whatever is so hard for others to utter.

In other words, some encouragement.... I'm the only 1 who can fight for me, but a kind word or 2 can do wonders for the battles I face alone. Just some simple support and/or comfort. Is that really too much to ask?




Edit: Well, the weather was still piss poor.... The sun came out for a bit & then more rain came.... I survived! (Oh, thank goodness!) I survived the meeting. That is SOME lady I met today! She is ultra-inspiring! I was actually star-struck, like I'd just met with a celebrity! ~LOL~ & I'm never impressed to the point of being speechless, but she has got it going on hard! WOW! I wanna be more like her!

[crystalgaze]

I messed up a little bit on the 2nd interview, but that's okay. I have a chance to make a better impression. I can roll up my shirt sleeves now, crack my knuckles (Ow!) & give it another go.

It was nerves. I kept repeating myself! ~lol~ I was so mad at myself! I was actually starstruck from meeting the lady. She is absolutely amazing.... (I want to be more like her.)

Well... I will be putting on my game face to have that razor's edge I will need for the upcoming career fair....

Ugh! Again!!! This is turning out to be a job in itself! Whoa! I will probably need to go get something else to wear.... (The "professional clothes in my closet are very limited at the moment. xD)

Before that though.... I have to remember to write my "Thank You" note.... (before I forget!)

[crystalgaze]

I am exhausted right about now.... More and more keeps being thrown at me & I just want to catch a break....

Usually when this happens, I am not able to function too well.... It's like I freeze up with panic, I guess, & in the end not much of any thing gets done.

Dropping off my thank you note has been postponed, as I am not feeling up to any thing today. I am a bit teary-eyed today.... I feel ridiculous for it.

I am backed up with cleaning, laundry, getting clothes for the career fair, & the mail. I am frightened & don't really want to go.... Oh well....

[crystalgaze]

All right! I have decided that perhaps it is a good thing that I will not drop off the Thank You note yet. I have decided that I will sit down to try to prepare a generic typed version for when I attend the job fair this Saturday.

My goodness, I can't believe it is right around the corner!

I did get my hair cut today. It's not as low as I used to have it. My Dad likes what the barber did with it. Gotta love my barber!

I am going to try to paint my nails at some point & tend to my feet.... shave my underarms....

Oh yes.... & I can't forget that I need to go look for some clothes!!!

[crystalgaze]

I did find some clothes & sent what I will wear to get pressed....

Went for the makeup appointment...


What I am learning: Sometimes if they say they will call you, maybe it's best to wait for them to do so....

(I called the lady because she was in a meeting on Tuesday & said she would call Wednesday. I saw that it was getting past the time, so I called. Can you believe she was still at work at 8:30pm?! I was like ...)

Edit: What I have left to do is wash the car.... reorganize my resume & try to generate some generic thank you notes... I feel beat, though...

Manicure/pedicure is tomorrow... ~SIGH~

[crystalgaze]

I am procrastinative today.... I feel a bit hot but I will try to deal with that, as best as I can....

I almost don't want to go tomorrow... but I mustn't defeat myself that way.... I've been SO HYPED about it, up to this point....

[crystalgaze]

All right! I nailed it! Woot!

Still.... I am SO glad it's done & over with for now! (Phew!!!)

The gentleman I spoke with was very nice & he was very impressed with how I presented myself. (He told me so!)

I am so proud of myself, for coming back after my shaky interview with the lady to knock 'em dead! ^_^

Here's how I did it up....

Resume--printed on resume paper, placed in resume folder
Presented the gentleman with a "Thank You" note for talking with me (his time) & also giving me more information about the company & the job position...


Dressed the part--looked professional.... (Would you believe some people actually came in jeans + T-shirts!!!???)


Now here's the clincher y'all.... That career fair was something else! I am going to tell you! It was STRANGE!!!

I am inclined to believe that the people who were there helping out were DIRECTORS themselves of different departments!

As someone just attending the fair, you would think they were interns or something working with the company, NOT BIG NAME PEOPLE!!! It would have even been easy to not be pleasant to them....

It was so STRATEGIC....

[crystalgaze]

I am going to get help with my resume this week to see how I can make it better....

I am trying to prepare.... I am a bit scattered at the moment.

[lablover]

Crystalglaze, I'm new here, but I'm impressed by the way you faced your fears and pushed yourself to do what you knew you needed to do. It sounds like it was hard for you and you did it anyway.