Of course you feel terrible while you are grieving such losses so recently, but YOU ARE DOING GREAT to push yourself out of bed and not to isolate. Keeping occupied as much as you can here and there, while recognizing your concentration may not be as good and you still need time to remember and grieve, might be of great help. I know that is one of my biggest drawbacks in healing...too much time to think and feel and focus on the loss and nothing to fill some of the gaps.
Since you believe in God, can I suggest something to you? There is a website, I'm not sure the acutal web address but you can google "pet loss websites" to find...basically all the folks who have lost pets can post the name, their name if they so choose, write something about their pet...then on the following Monday of the next week, at the designated time (think its 10:00 EST in US)...you say prayers they give you to say and then whatever you want to say to your pet and light a candle...then people from all over the place from the comfort of their own homes will be saying prayers for you and your pet with lit candles of their own. I did this for a cat I lost and could literally feel people's prayers lift me up and felt a momentary sense of peace and connection. Its hard losing a pet especially because society doesn't always acknowledge our grief is as real as a human loss for many of us, and their are no funerals, no people coming over with casseroles, no friendly how are you phone calls and such like when we lose a person. Being so alone in the grief intensifies it I think, and also, grief is hard on anyone but for those of us who suffer depression or other mental illness...it can be crippling.
So maybe whether you do the website or not, you do something to commemorate Bond? Like your own little funeral service or some special thing you'll do for your dog's memory? I think those things can be helpful sometimes in helping us accept and start to heal a bit.
Meanwhile, please keep posting and sharing as much as you want or need. Talking/posting really helps me a lot to get the feelings out and share memories and not feel so terribly alone.
I think I said to you before, but do what little things you can to nurture, spoil, or slightly comfort yourself...like enjoying a good special meal or treat, listening to uplifting or soothing music...for me I take hot bubble baths silly but its like being a kid again in the bubbles and smells good and the warm water is like an embrace or drink hot cocoa or something that warms me up inside and gives me a momentary soothing...find somethings you can do for you that give you a little momentary sense of some nurturing, comforting...
Crying can be so helpful sometimes because afterwards often I feel a little relief from the release. So don't feel bad that you cried on the way home from the date, crying is normal and better to cry than bottle it all up and it come out in inappropriate or harmful ways.
((((((((((((Millseyy))))))))) hang on...just hang on and cope through the moments as best you can. We're here for you.
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