How's my day going? (Trigger for unnecessary whinging.)

[Stephen]

Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 10:02 am

I'm so caught in my own, self-imposed lethargy trap. This day, like the weeks, like the months and years before, is slipping by in this stale environment of mine. I can't seem to find the energy to do a single thing, apart from write this nonsense. What's the point?

I'm just going out of my mind with negativity (but truly it seems like reality, not mere negativity). Even if I were to try to do something, I feel assured that I will fail... past history seems to suggest this to my very core.

So here I sit, looking out at the freezing and gloomy weather, waiting it seems. But for what am I waiting? I know that only I can make changes to my life. And that seems something I'm highly incapable of doing.

Oh well, enough. Enough!


"The all singing, the all dancing," Stephen.

A song to describe how I feel:


Gene "Drawn to the deep end."

//you can feel every pulse of your blood
reminding you the days slip on by
as they should
but nothing has been done
you rarely see the sun.//

//a house barely clean, never could
bring yourself to rise for a life
fantasize
of diving in the deep end
the water offers changes.//

//i can feel every twisted dead bone
i have seen the city it's young
their hopes
the town boys roaring by
sometimes i want to die.//

//long to live? tell me why should i leave
the comfort of my room with its dirt
inches deep
so why do people bother
i have nothing to offer.//

//everyone has a place, i know mine
in bed where i was born, where i'll live
where i'll die
the longing is long gone
i'm boredom's latest son.//

//do you cry for a life ever spring
where winter is a fading and dim memory?
go take what you have not
and leave me here to rot.//

//i can feel every twisted dead bone
i have seen the city it's young
their hopes
the town boys roaring by
sometimes i want to die.//

[LThomas]

Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 10:41 am

hey (((((((((stephen))))))))))))))

I don't see any whining going on and certainly nothing unnecessary about your post.

seems to me like you're having a pretty hard time and need to vent a bit that's all.

we're here for you ... hope things start looking up soon

xxx Lisa xxx

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 3:34 pm

(((((((((((((((((((((Stephen))))))))))))))))))))

Love to you

Warmie

[Stephen]

Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 7:08 pm

Thanks (((((((Lisa)))))))) ((((((((Warmsoul)))))))))

Been a long hard day today for some unknown reason. Sorry if this sounds like self-pity. Just kind of all numb and all shades of down.

My turn to ask you, how were your days?

Stephen.

[LThomas]

Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 7:28 pm

(((((((((((stephen)))))))))))))

my day was ok ... actually the weekend was actually good ... not great but good considering I'm a person that everyone knows who hates weekends.

I'm sorry today was so hard for you ...

nothing wrong with a pity party m'dear ... you just try and hang in there and relax k?

xxx Lisa xxx

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 10:41 pm

((((Stephen)))))

My day came and went.

Please know I am here for you. Will support you and give hugs whether you want them or not. Don't pull the shades too low or hide too well, for it will be hard to reach you there. Let me help lift you to the sunshine. There is a song, "Lifted", do you know it? Lifted from the shawdows, doing it together. Listen to it sometime.

Just keeping my thoughts with you. Yes it is true, quoting you - "I know that only I can make changes to my life" but will stand beside you during these changes. What friends are for.

Love to you

Warmie

[Corey]

Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 2:16 pm

((((((((((((( stephen )))))))))))) my day was boring, busy, and now is finally done.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 3:57 pm

(((((((((((((((All)))))))))))))))))

This has been a day of hiding I think. Should have gone out, didn't. Should have gotten sleep last night, didn't. Should have done something productive, didn't.

Are we allowed "Didn't" days??

Warmie

[Stephen]

Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 11:39 am

((((Warmie)))))

Definitely think we're allowed "Didn't days". Nice concept, will remember that one! Hope your day today is going as you wish it, and that at least you got some sleep... particularly not too keen on the "Didn't days" that involve "Didn't sleep".

((((Corey))))

Hope your day today wasn't so boring and busy... although busy can be good sometimes I think to take one's mind off of things. Not that I like busy all the time though, as it can prove be so stressful and that's unhealthy too.

Thank you again for all the poetry you bring to the forum. As I've said elsewhere, I truly love reading it.

((((((Lisa))))))))

Glad that your weekend was good. What is it that you dislike about weekends? Is it because you're NOT so busy as during the weekdays when I'm guessing from what you've written that you're at work?


Thank you for listening to my moaning on the other day. Just one of those very grey days where I didn't know what to do and where I felt my head was going to explode with negativity. I've been a little better since thank God... so no pity party from me today!

It's so nice to be able to talk to you all here.

Stephen.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 11:12 pm

(((Stephen)))

"Didn't days" are my normal routine. Part of this life I live.

What can I say?

Love to you

Warmie

[Tigger]

Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 3:00 am

((((((((((((((((((((((((Stephen))))))))))))))))))))))

Tigger
xxxxxxx

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 2:03 pm

((((((((((((((((((((((((Stephen)))))))))))))))))))))))))

Wishing smiles for you.

Love to you

Warmie