Strangers Like Me
Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 5:35 am
Uhm my name is Zoe.
I live in Australia. I'm 16. I just started year 11.
I have no idea what I'm doing here. I guess that I'm sort of sad and I've read some stories on the forum and relate to a few of them.
I started year 11 about a week ago. I've always been one of the smart ones. I was in the enhanced class for 3 years until it stopped which brings me here. I started my new subjects, eager to learn like always but alot of the stuff stumped me. I don't know whether that's due to just coming back from holidays or what.
The thing is, between halfway through year 9 and now I feel like I haven't learnt a thing and that brings me to ask myself 'why am I so dumb' and 'what the hell am I going to do after year 12...' I don't have a purpose in life.
I have friends. Not an entire group but they're still there. About 2 months ago I told them what I felt, what they though I should do about what I felt. They said it would go away, that I'm being stupid. My mum thinks that because I've started listening to punk rock and 'emo' bands that I'm going to do myself in. We've never argued so much in my life.
I hate going to school, fearful that I'm going to fail in everything I do, including being a good friend. I hate coming home because I find solace in blasting music and watching DVDs and reading and I don't do anything at all. I dont do any physical exercise bar the stuff I do at school. I've put on about 15kg (apprx. 33 pounds) in a year. I haven't always been the most confident person either.
My God I feel like I'm just complaining about my miserable life. It's not that bad. I'm fed, roof over my head and I have electronics but I'm not rich or well-off. Far from it. I go to a private school, good education, money from work and I'm fine.
But I'm not. I don't understand myself, only what I feel.
So if you don't mind stupid ramblings from a stupid teenager thank you for reading I suppose.
I live in Australia. I'm 16. I just started year 11.
I have no idea what I'm doing here. I guess that I'm sort of sad and I've read some stories on the forum and relate to a few of them.
I started year 11 about a week ago. I've always been one of the smart ones. I was in the enhanced class for 3 years until it stopped which brings me here. I started my new subjects, eager to learn like always but alot of the stuff stumped me. I don't know whether that's due to just coming back from holidays or what.
The thing is, between halfway through year 9 and now I feel like I haven't learnt a thing and that brings me to ask myself 'why am I so dumb' and 'what the hell am I going to do after year 12...' I don't have a purpose in life.
I have friends. Not an entire group but they're still there. About 2 months ago I told them what I felt, what they though I should do about what I felt. They said it would go away, that I'm being stupid. My mum thinks that because I've started listening to punk rock and 'emo' bands that I'm going to do myself in. We've never argued so much in my life.
I hate going to school, fearful that I'm going to fail in everything I do, including being a good friend. I hate coming home because I find solace in blasting music and watching DVDs and reading and I don't do anything at all. I dont do any physical exercise bar the stuff I do at school. I've put on about 15kg (apprx. 33 pounds) in a year. I haven't always been the most confident person either.
My God I feel like I'm just complaining about my miserable life. It's not that bad. I'm fed, roof over my head and I have electronics but I'm not rich or well-off. Far from it. I go to a private school, good education, money from work and I'm fine.
But I'm not. I don't understand myself, only what I feel.
So if you don't mind stupid ramblings from a stupid teenager thank you for reading I suppose.