Strangers Like Me

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Joined: Tue Feb 09, 2010 5:14 am

Strangers Like Me

Postby zoeee. » Tue Feb 09, 2010 5:35 am

Uhm my name is Zoe.

I live in Australia. I'm 16. I just started year 11.

I have no idea what I'm doing here. I guess that I'm sort of sad and I've read some stories on the forum and relate to a few of them.

I started year 11 about a week ago. I've always been one of the smart ones. I was in the enhanced class for 3 years until it stopped which brings me here. I started my new subjects, eager to learn like always but alot of the stuff stumped me. I don't know whether that's due to just coming back from holidays or what.

The thing is, between halfway through year 9 and now I feel like I haven't learnt a thing and that brings me to ask myself 'why am I so dumb' and 'what the hell am I going to do after year 12...' I don't have a purpose in life.

I have friends. Not an entire group but they're still there. About 2 months ago I told them what I felt, what they though I should do about what I felt. They said it would go away, that I'm being stupid. My mum thinks that because I've started listening to punk rock and 'emo' bands that I'm going to do myself in. We've never argued so much in my life.

I hate going to school, fearful that I'm going to fail in everything I do, including being a good friend. I hate coming home because I find solace in blasting music and watching DVDs and reading and I don't do anything at all. I dont do any physical exercise bar the stuff I do at school. I've put on about 15kg (apprx. 33 pounds) in a year. I haven't always been the most confident person either.

My God I feel like I'm just complaining about my miserable life. It's not that bad. I'm fed, roof over my head and I have electronics but I'm not rich or well-off. Far from it. I go to a private school, good education, money from work and I'm fine.

But I'm not. I don't understand myself, only what I feel.

So if you don't mind stupid ramblings from a stupid teenager thank you for reading I suppose.

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Postby crystalgaze » Tue Feb 09, 2010 4:48 pm

Oi.... stupid ramblings from a stupid teenager <--- You see that? Go easy on yourself there! Hi there zoeee! Welcome, welcome, welcome! Feel free to post!

1. About having a purpose in life, you don't always know it immediately....

I'm 25, will be 26 in April... & well, I can't honestly say I know what my purpose is. There are hints--things that I see that I'm sort of good at doing. I do have goals, in general--however small or large they are....

2. If you don't have a purpose, how about creating one? By creating one, I mean you can craft one, based on something you like or think you will like, for example.

Are you going to college/university? Do you want to go? That's a purpose right there--as simple & as indirect as it seems.

3. About the weight, you can lose it or tone up, if that's what you really want to do, but you have to want to do it. I would encourage you in it! I have been doing a bit of exercise to get myself together & improve.

4. The hatred... If you can, it is definitely something to work on reducing. You probably know that already. I'm just saying it because all of that can add to how you feel & make things worse. I would aim for a neutral feeling, as best as I can. Try to relax & tackle things one at a time & multi-task when you can.

I hope this is not discouraging to you! You are going in the right direction!

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Postby TackingIntoTheWind » Wed Feb 10, 2010 11:54 am

(((( crystalgaze )))) makes some very good suggestions.
Someone gave me a piece of very good advice which has helped me a lot. He said that making progress wasn't about making great sudden leaps forward and trying to fix everything in my life at once, progress would be about making small, gradual changes in my life, and thereby laying a firm foundation for a better future.
You are clearly not stupid, ( You're also not rambling. I'm a British minor bureaucrat. Now I know how to ramble! )
Good luck!

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Postby zoeee. » Thu Mar 11, 2010 3:23 am

So it's been a while, I have been going slow, trying to figure out my life, re-organise the mess and such.

I still hate school, it hasn't been getting any better. Classes pass like blurs, my favourite part of the day being recess, lunch and home time or when I'm allowed to listen to my ipod. I feel like I'm not learning anything or doing everything wrong. I put my heart into an essay and ended up with 60%. My teacher said if I continue like this I'll have to re-evaluate my classes.

To add more stress, my Mum still thinks I'm about to commit suicide at any moment because of my music. She is being stricter; my room has to be spotless, not a hair out of place, manners impecible...

It's all too much and because of stress my weight has been going up and I feel panicky all the time.

So life isn't going good at the moment...

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Hello Zoe

Postby Thatoneguy » Thu Apr 26, 2012 6:31 pm

On the purpose part I can't tell any thing about that I don't have purpose and rather sure there is only the purpose you give your self.

On the weight thing I get where your coming from I got really after I was kicked out the the army I put on 45 pounds after losing 76 p to get into it.

I live in the US I want from a school that was in the top 5 for collage to a
lets get them in and out school and I was thrown out of the school system here when we started up No child left behind I was thrown off the bus.

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