Background & Profile (The Daemon's full story)

[CTDaemon]

Ok. I'm gonna make this in the form of a timeline, based on my age at the time of the occurence.
WARNING (DISCLAIMER?): THIS POST MAY CONTAIN SOME TRIGGERS FOR SOME PEOPLE. PLEASE TAKE CAUTION WHEN READING THIS POST. I CAN'T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE IF THIS POST DOES CAUSE A TRIGGER, ALTHOUGH I APOLOGIZE DEEPLY AND WOULD LOVE TO GET IN CONTACT WITH YOU.

Part 1: Childhood
1990-1993: Before I was born, my mother and father met in the US Army. My father then was deployed to Desert Storm, and my mother, after my father's ToD, got pregnant with me. Her deployment to Somalia (to participate in the mission that would later be the focus of the book "Black Hawk Down") was canceled due to her pregnancy.
Nov. 1993: My mother gave birth to me. My parent's left the military and stayed in Raleigh, NC (near their base Ft. Bragg).
1994: My family moved to Memphis, TN, where my father's family lived. We lived near a very large extended family (grandmother, grandfather, several aunts & uncles, cousins, etc.)
1995: My family moved to Savannah Creek Apts. in Mississippi. We lived in the northeastern area, near Memphis. The county was DeSoto County.
1998: We moved to a house in a quiet, new neighborhood. We adopted a stray cat, who I named Jewels, and my brother and sister were born. My father was diagnosed with Leukemia.
1999: My father attacked my mother and me several times over this year.
2000: I start school, my father is ordered out of our house by the district court, my mother files for divorce.
2001: I get a placement test and make it to the Advanced Class known as Spotlight (for "special & talented students") I am set at a higher standard of excellence than the other students. I remain in this program until I leave the county.
2004: I meet Haley Cole, the first "girlfriend" I had.
2005: I enter 5th grade. Over winter break, Haley moves to an unknown location. I lose her. I'm shattered. On top of that loss, my time in HSES is over, I am moving to a new school, having to get used to a brand new environment.
2006: I start 6th grade, and right away am being bullied. I never understood why people chose to pick on me. My Spotlight classes are moved from weekly to daily.
Dec. 2006: I go on a Spotlight trip to Chicago & St. Louis. Our group is taken alongside a high school exchange group, with students from several different countries. I meet a friend, who is a exchange student from France. I lose contact with her after the trip.
2006-2007: I get involved in several fights (maybe around 12-20). All of them were on the school bus, and they all involved me attacking another person. I meet Garret, my neighbor's son. He was deported to Mississippi after an arrest in Memphis for drug-related charges. I get involved with him in his dealings in Mississippi. I act as his bodyguard. He gets arrested during a deal where I'm not present, by vice. His friends (the entire school) assume I had ratted him out, not true. I spend the remainder of my time here at home and having to watch my back at school. I have several attempts on my life during this time, their revenge for losing their favorite drug dealer.
Part 2: Teen years
2007: My last fight involved stabbing a bully with a pencil. I am arrested and held for over 4 hours. The bully is released after 1/2 hour. After my release, I am moved to a "behavioural Health Facility". The facility is run by two psychologists, three nurses (one per shift) and eight techs (four per shift). All the techs were prejudice against me, as well as the other patients, and the psychologist I was assigned to called my problems "made up to get attention". The doctor prescribes me Risperdal, Celexa, and Trazadone.
Apr. 2007: My father is hospitalized for a relapse of Leukemia. I visit him. I hold his hand, and he says the last words he ever says to me. "I know you love me, and I love you too, but... right now... I just need some space" He dies a week later.
Apr. 8, 2007: This day, my father is scheduled to be euthanized, because he has been in a coma for three days, and the doctors don't see him making it out. His euthanization is scheduled for 1:00PM. I am asked if I want to go. I refuse. I didn't want to be there to watch him die. I have an appointment with an alternative school, because after my treatment, I am ordered there. After my appointment, I am playing Resident Evil. My mom gets a call at 11:00AM. I stop playing to listen. I still remember what part I was on: it was RE Outbreak, File 2. I was in the first encounter with the elephant in the first level. I hear my mom say one word: "When?". I immediately start crying. I knew what that meant. After she hangs up, she has a single tear in your eye. "I don't have to tell you what that call was for."
June 2007: I leave on my flight for Puerto Rico. I am leaving everything behind. I'm leaving the problems, but also my family, Jewel, who has grown attached to me through our years together, and my few friends.
July 2007: Jewel dies before she can be euthanized. Reportedly, her depression, which existed at the same timeline as mine, had overtaken her.
August 2007: I start school in my new school, FCBS. I still go there. First day, I make the worst first impression on the staff and students. There is no advanced program. I am forced to take the basic classes, which are two years behind my program in the states.
2008: I meet Lydia during 9th grade. We become good friends, like brother & sister, although I loved her like more.
2009: Lydia moves with her father to chase a job opportunity. I talk to my school about wanting to commit suicide. Social services is informed. I am admitted to Cidra.
Sep. 2009: I am released to partial from Cidra. I meet Caroline. We fall in love. I am ordered to my grandmother's house by DCS, no longer living with my mother.
Oct. 2009: I rarely get to see Caroline now. Once every 2-4 weeks. My grandmother cannot be trusted as a resource to help me. I can't tell my doctors about my problems because I cannot be put back in Cidra. My best friend's girlfriend commits suicide (supposedly). She becomes disassociative. Presently, I believe she said that her girlfriend had lied about the suicide. This situation in uncontrollable. Her disassociative mindset is stronger, and she now no longer wants to be called by her real name. She is also manic. Caroline and I both are getting worse, our depression is increasing because of not being able to spend enough time with each other. My decline from healing is almost at its peak. I feel I am near returning to my habits of self-mut, suicide ideation, etc. I need help, but can't go anywhere to get it.

[xn728]

hi CTDaemon ive read your post and its very detailed and to the piont ,it did,nt set off any triggers for me ,
but im pretty bad anyway ,i was taken by depression when i was 7 ,im 51 now i have had a lot of trauma
in my life ,a lot of it caused by myself ,i would describe myself as ,having spent a period of my life
being evil .now i just suffer at the hands of the visitor (thats what i call my deppresion)im paying for
the things i did back when i was young,your post was written without fear of showing who you are and what
your life is now ,or has been ,i write in a simaler way i tell it the way i see it ,and boy do i see
some strange things i destroyed my parents house by fire and nearly killed them ,i to see things demons and strange creatures and the visitor it stand beside me now as i type this i will have to read your post 2,or 3 times before i could comment reasonably on it
but i like to say welcome to the forum ,and i hope to read more posts from you and pherhaps swap replys
in the near future ,there are no judges here ,please post freely xn728 ken