Hi am Julie, and im new in here.

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julie
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Sep 02, 2009 1:41 pm

Hi am Julie, and im new in here.

Postby julie » Thu Sep 03, 2009 1:15 pm

I been fighting with depression for about 7 years. I just began with this depression when i got out of high school. I just dont know what to do with my life, and on top of that i have a really bad relationship with my mother. She is always telling all this bad things about my weight telling me that am fat and ugly. That makes me feel so bad, imagine my own mother hates me. If she is my mother and cant love who will?

aim
Posts: 974
Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 4:40 pm
Location: USA

Postby aim » Fri Sep 04, 2009 8:29 pm

Hi Julie - so glad you found your way to us... :-)

I'm sorry your mother is being so cruel to you, hun. Please do remember, however, that her criticisms of you are NOT you but her. Did you ever hear that bully's only bully because they are missing something within themselves? Must be the same with your mother.

Please know that there are plenty of men out there who would love to be with you, Julie. Don't get down on yourself because of what your mother says, ok? I know plenty of women who are larger than what the standard size is, and they have no trouble at all finding and keeping men.

Try to work on your own self-esteem, Julie. Remember... it's what you think of yourself that matters the most, ok? You are beautiful, Julie... please start believing that.

Welcome (((((Julie)))))

Monty
Posts: 830
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:44 pm
Location: Canada

Postby Monty » Thu Sep 17, 2009 5:33 pm

Welcome Julie,

I can tell you from experience. I have had major swings in my weight over the years.

Been so thin that they were afraid that I might lose my son during pregnancy.

Also at the other end of the spectrum of being morbidly obese.

It can be very hurtful to have your mother say unkind things to you. I know because my mom has said many things over the years.

I tried to have the mindset that my mom was just one person in my life, and she had troubles of her own. There were other people in my life who, I don't think, their opinion has changed of me over the years.

Of course that doesn't apply to all of them. Sometimes people just don't click.

This is a safe place to post. We are all in (or have been in) the same boat. When you log in and post, you are posting to friends. Sounds corny but that is the way it is.

Contrary to popular thought there are decent men out there, that look past the size of the woman and can see, that the package really doesn't matter, it is the person in that does.

Realize that I have rambled on, just one of those days I guess that I talk around in circles.

Again it is safe here to just let it all out. We listen.

aim
Posts: 974
Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 4:40 pm
Location: USA

Postby aim » Mon Sep 21, 2009 7:07 pm

Although it's hard for me to apply it myself, keep telling yourself that the only opinion that matters is the one you have about yourself. You know what type of person you are... if some ignorant person (even your mother) begins to make you doubt yourself, it is THEIR problem, not yours. Believe in the wonderful person that you ARE.

Mich
Posts: 869
Joined: Fri Sep 18, 2009 6:44 am
Location: Canada

Postby Mich » Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:46 pm

I can relate to this post so well because I also have a mother who is cold and hurtful. As many of the other posters said, you have to realize that your mother has the problem. It is quite possible that she is ill with a mental illness like depression. You are a beautiful person and I am sure there are others that love you and think many wonderful things about you. I know it is especially hard when one does not feel love from one's mother...I can feel your pain. I hope you will keep posting and letting us know how things are going with you. This is a wonderful forum.

aim
Posts: 974
Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 4:40 pm
Location: USA

Postby aim » Fri Oct 09, 2009 9:42 pm

((((Mich)))) I agree that this is a wonderful forum! It's such a shame that we, as human beings, allow others to make us feel bad about ourselves, huh? What kind of power do they have to make us doubt who we KNOW we are inside? Tis a mystery, I think. I do know, however, that now that I am in my 30's, I am much more confident in the person that I am inside. I'm not saying that no one ever makes me feel badly about myself, but it seems that the older I get, the stronger I am to realize that when someone is verbally abusive to you for no apparent reason, it's always THEIR problem.

((((Everyone!)))))

User avatar
xn728
Posts: 2129
Joined: Tue Apr 21, 2009 3:34 pm
Location: united kingdom yorkshire

settle innn

Postby xn728 » Sat Oct 17, 2009 3:10 pm

hey julie you,ll be ok settle in here and make some freinds ,when you feel better ,you,ll look at yourself differantly your just fine welcome
xn728

aim
Posts: 974
Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 4:40 pm
Location: USA

Postby aim » Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:51 pm

Our friend Ken is right! Keep on posting, Julie. We are all here to help and support each other.

User avatar
crystalgaze
Posts: 2511
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:11 pm
Location: USA

Postby crystalgaze » Mon Oct 19, 2009 8:07 pm

Hi there Julie...! Welcome to the forums. This may sound odd, but don't worry, it can get better.... (maybe not specifically your Mom, as I've found my parents are quite set in their thoughts)

The future & present are not set in stone per se....

Take care... & go easy on yourself. Don't let anyone--not even yourself--stress you out with any thing.

Dido, in her song, "Slide", has a part in it, where she says "Take time to catch your breath & choose your moment". Well, that's what you can do. Just do it (live your life) at your own pace. It's yours. Grab it & leave the rest that is not good for you. (easier said than done but still doable!)

aim
Posts: 974
Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 4:40 pm
Location: USA

Postby aim » Mon Oct 26, 2009 9:56 pm

Gaze... I could not have said it better myself! You are quite insightful!! Only the intelligent get depressed. I truly believe that. ;-)

Monty
Posts: 830
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:44 pm
Location: Canada

Postby Monty » Tue Oct 27, 2009 2:27 pm

It is difficult when a parent of all people, is not one of your supporters but someone who contributes to your illness.

My mom has had mental health issues for as long as I can remember. She has gone through episodes where she has been very unstable, and very cruel to my brother and I.

I can empathsize with being in the position of have someone, who is supposed to love you unconditionally, cutting you off at the knees.

I agree with the posting that says that it is your mother who is the problem, no you.

Am sure that you are a very kind person who happens to walk around her house with, a large target on your back.

Hang in there.

aim
Posts: 974
Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 4:40 pm
Location: USA

Postby aim » Fri Nov 20, 2009 7:45 pm

It is so strange that there are certain people who walk around with that target, isn't it? I felt that way many times in my life, but am finally beginning to feel the target fading as I age.

I know you've been through heck and back with your mother as well, Monty girl. I know that you understand this post better than many, and I'm so glad you responded to it as well.

(((((FORUM)))))


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