Depression Understood Forums

I've posted my background story over in the section for that but thought I would just come in here and give a brief introduction to myself (the other post was long!).

I've had a lot to deal with in the past including my father rejecting me and being raped and then controlled by an ex. I met a wonderful guy but it coincided with me having to confront my rapist again. I told this guy about it and he was supportive but began to struggle with dealing with seeing the rapist. I started struggling to deal with it and then began to make up lies about myself in an attempt to black out what had happened and to try and make it up to the new guy. He found out about this last week and now it's pretty much destroyed us. He's moved out and although he says he wants to be friends it's hard because I still have feelings and he has but doesn't know how to deal with them yet because of the hurt - he said there might be a chance one day but it's a tiny one he says. But then he says he still wants to kiss me when he sees me and still enjoys my company so it's weird. I've started counselling today so am beginning to make progress but feel a little lost amongst all my emotions.

Wow! Here is a BIG hug from Indiana!
I was raped when I was 16.(I am 40 now.)
It sucks that your boyfriend can't get beyond his own feelings about your rape. It sucks too that you don't have his help and support; you deserve better! Please, take care of yourself.

You are not alone. Don't think that you are.

(((((((((((((katiec1984))))))))))))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((((((((( katiec ))))))))))))))))) a warm and gentle hug for you.

Warmie

Hi Katiec,

Glad to know you.

I don't think it's a good idea to give him another chance. He raped you, and that's a terrible crime. Seeking counselling is a good idea, but so is cutting him from your life.