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Posted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 8:39 pm
I'm 28 and afraid to grow up. My parents have supported me my whole life and would probably be living on the streets if not for them. I have been depressed for about 10 years now, with major depression setting in about 6 months ago. My gf left me cause she saw no future with me, I cant find a job (even though there is one staring me right in the face, my father has his own company but its not really what i wanna do). I just feel like I will never be able to make important decisions in my life in order to progress myself. Indecisive is a great word to describe me. I dont know what to do. I feel so overwhelmed and confused about my whole situation. Suicidal thoughts occur daily in me. Im so stressed out!! I know my situation is not as dire as others who have lost fathers, mothers, brothers, and/or sisters but my feelings are just as low as theirs, if not lower. I feel like a loser!
Posted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 1:07 pm
Charlie you arent a loser. Depression can make people feel indecisive and it can also make people afraid of change. Are you on meds? Recieving therapy? Have tried to get disability? Are your parents emotionally supportive? I'm glad you sought us out.
Posted: Thu Mar 21, 2013 4:36 pm
I took celexa for about 6 months but I stopped taking them cause my recent ex-gf didnt like the idea (shes an organic type of gal that doesnt like altering the idea of altering brain chemistry). She wanted me to do the holistic approach, which I do try to incorporate into my life such as exercising, eating right, and reading self help books. I'm not sure if the anti-depressants were actually helping or not, but I felt mentally better because I was actually trying something to combat my depression. It took a lot for me to go to the doc's and tell them I was depressed and wanted help. I am contemplating going to a psychiatrist to see if he/she could help. I want to get better. Its just the initial phone call that I need to make that showers my brain with fear and anxiety.
I dont have a great relationship with my mom or dad, I just cant relate to them too well. My dad is a man's man and doesnt talk much about emotions. He puts food on the table and clothes on my back, which im grateful for. I just wish I could have a better relationship with him. It gets awkwardly quiet when I try to have a convo with him. My mom is a little more emotionally supportive. She just annoys me when she starts asking question after question after question and I eventually put up my defensive cone of silence. But it is probably me and my inability to form a real connection with most people that has led to me not having good relationships with my parents. My family doesnt talk much about our life struggles and emotions. We like to think they dont exist and try to ignore them.
Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 1:47 pm
Charlie I know that initial phone call can be hard but it can also be well worth it. And I know you can do it as youve done it before. It has to be hard to feel the way you do. I can understand about not knowing if the meds are actually helping, or if its just the thought of doing something that helps. Because I go through that each time I get back on meds. I hope you do call a doctor. The right treatment can do wonders. Are you in therapy? It can help to at least have an outlet where can talk.
Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 2:20 pm
Have you spoken to anyone about this? Maybe you should tell someone how you are feeling and tell them what you think is the root cause of you feeling so depressed. It sounds like there is more to this and what is happening in your life (still living with your parents etc) is a result of this. Perhaps try talking to someone about this and see where to go from there. Until you get help with the things that are making you feel like this, it is going to be hard to motivate yourself and make decisions.