I think it is time for Meds (trigger)

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flgirl2020
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2010 5:31 pm
Location: Florida

I think it is time for Meds (trigger)

Postby flgirl2020 » Fri Oct 08, 2010 7:11 pm

Hi, my name is Monica and I have not seen a doctor yet because I can't afford one. I have noticed the past few months that I am always weepy, angry, moody, or happy. Never happy for very long.

I do not want to bore anyone, but I feel like I need to get this out.

I was raped at the age of 14 and chose not to tell my parents or friends. Then at 18 it happened againg, this time I told the landlord and my friends, not my family. I went threw life acting as if everything was ok, because I thought I did something to provoke the actions. When I turned 21 I started doing cocaine and in my 30's I was doing crank. In 1999 I went and saw a psychotherapist to quit drugs and try to figure out my problems. That lasted about six months, but I have been drug free since. Over the last 10 years I did not notice things like I do today. It hit me like a ton of bricks that I am really messed up.

I just recently told my girlfriend, who is manic, that she has her head stuck up her mother's but so far that I get no attention. We made that day, but I can hear that her tone has changed with me and today she told me that she needs a day to get over it and does not want to talk with me until tomorrow night.

I am 44 now and am a full-time student and have a part-time job.

Can two clinical depressed people have a good relationship?

Im in Florida; if any can tell how to start my journy towards finding a doctor so I can find out if all these different emotions and feelings are normal or not, I would really appreciate it. The only thing I don't feel, is the feeling to self-inflict pain, but I have thought about.

Obayan
Posts: 4517
Joined: Sat Jan 30, 2010 4:51 am
Location: oklahoma
Contact:

Postby Obayan » Sat Oct 09, 2010 12:48 am

Hi. Oftentimes my depression manifests as anger and i find myself lashing out at those around me. Sounds familiar hugh? The first thing to do is contact your local free mental health clinic and get on the waiting list. Sometimes it can be quite a wait, but you can at least have the knowledge that your date is coming up. Second, try to help your g/f understand what you are going thru. Educate her as to what you are like and how it's not you talking but the depression. It's like having two different people there. Tell her what your needs are and how she can help you. And how it changes from instance to instance. When i lash out, my daughter will sit down and put her arms around me and say "mom, that's the depression talking. Now what does my mother want to say to me?" It helps a lot. Not only does it help to remind her that i don't mean it, but it helps me to remember how much i love her and don't want to hurt her.

Monty
Posts: 830
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:44 pm
Location: Canada

Postby Monty » Sun Oct 10, 2010 2:29 pm

Hi and Welcome,

You ask the question on whether two, clinically depressed people can make it. Speaking from experience I can say that it can happen.

Though what I found is that we both watch out for each other. Not examing every thought or action, with a microsope but just asking every so often, is everything ok. Do we need to go find you some help.

Like I said, for it can work.

For us, it just means looking out for each other.

One thing that you don't say is how long you have been in your relationship with your girlfriend.

When I started out on my current relationship I was up front with all the crap in my life. I was surprised when the next time we went out, the other person was candid with me, and we had much the same story.

I admire you for being able to be drug free for such a long time.

flgirl2020
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2010 5:31 pm
Location: Florida

Postby flgirl2020 » Sun Oct 10, 2010 5:01 pm

Hello and thank you both.

Monty, we have been together for almost 7 months, but it is a long distant relationship. She can't drive because of her diabeties. She is a brittle dibatic, suffers from PTS, bipolar, and is a manic depressent. She has been on meds for a while and pretty much has them down to a stedy pace. Me on the other hand did not really notice all these things like anger, moodyness, and the ability to snap at a pin-drop, until she brought them to my attention. I am glad to hear from you that as long as we ask each other how we are doing it shoukd be ok.

Obayan, yes, lashing out sounds very familiar. My family says that, that is my norm. I did look up my health care facility that is cheaper than most, and made an appointment. I am hoping that they will be able to guide me in the right direction as to finding a mental health clinic. Were I am. they are not. I will have to do some traveling, but it will be worth it.

Thanks again to you both.

Monty
Posts: 830
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:44 pm
Location: Canada

Postby Monty » Mon Oct 11, 2010 11:58 am

Monica,

Thanks for being willing to share a little bit more about yourself.

One thing that I have learned is that when I ask "how are you feeling" to my friend, I don't push the point. No one likes to feel as if they are being interrogated.

I ask the question and let it go with an answer. Just once at a time. Then I spend more time observing and decided which way to go.

You obviously have a good relationship if she brought the anger stuff and all, to your attention.

I am glad that you have been able to take the first steps in finding some professional help. You are right in the statement that it will be worth it to see someone, even if you have to travel a bit.

You are worth it.

flgirl2020
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2010 5:31 pm
Location: Florida

Postby flgirl2020 » Mon Oct 11, 2010 1:03 pm

Thanks!

I found a place that is really not far from here and they charge according to pay-stubs. I am excited because I have my first free assesment on the first of Nov.

I do not think that my relationship is going to last.

She is weighing the pros and cons, which I understand.

I believe that if you love someone enough you find a way to make it work. I do not see her doing that. This is a lot of my depression, I always find someone that loves me, but never wants to work at it. I love her in ways that I have never loved before.

I only have three weeks to go before I get analyzed and headed in the right direction with whatever kind of treatment.

Monty
Posts: 830
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:44 pm
Location: Canada

Postby Monty » Wed Oct 13, 2010 12:59 pm

Glad that you have found somewhere that you can go to, that you can afford.

Hopefully the three weeks will pass quickly.

Post us and let us know how things are going along for you.

When it feels right.

Obayan
Posts: 4517
Joined: Sat Jan 30, 2010 4:51 am
Location: oklahoma
Contact:

Postby Obayan » Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:34 am

I'm really glad you found help. Please keep up posted on how you are.

Monty
Posts: 830
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:44 pm
Location: Canada

Postby Monty » Mon Nov 08, 2010 10:38 pm

Haven't heard from you in a while, Monica. Should I be following a different thread to hear how it is all going.

How are things working out.

Let us know how the appointment goes.


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