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About me

Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 11:35 pm
by ariaax3
I'm Aria.
I'm 17,
female,
manic depressive,
bulimic,
self inflicted injurys.
Short height,
medium length dark hair,
hazel eyes.
Volleyball,
photography,
movies,
music,
singing,
writing.

Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 4:18 am
by lisalou
Hi Aria, welcome to the forum and thanks for telling us a bit about yourself. My name's Lisa and I'm 29,from England and have depression,anxiety and virtually every eating disorder in the book at some point in my life! I like to write too - particularly poetry and short stories (when my head's up to it that is!) What kind of stuff do you write?

Hope you find this website helpful, there are some lovely people here and it helps you feel you're not alone

Lisa xx

Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 8:17 am
by ariaax3
Hi Lisa, it's nice to meet you.
I love writing poetry.. Not traditional though, just anything that im feeling i throw onto paper. I wrote a short story too, but only because it was a school project but im really proud of it.

And thank you. It's really helping so far, except I had a break down last night that was pretty bad.. just hoping this will help make me feel alittle bit better.

Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 12:11 pm
by lisalou
Hi again Aria. It really can help to be here i think,next time you feel like you're having a bit of a breakdown come and write it all down here and have a bit of a rant - i have a million times! Poetry-wise I also tend to write whatever i'm feeling,however it comes out, but i did go through a huge phase of writing haikus too - those japanese mini poems that have to be three lines and seventeen syllables long (it did my OCD no favours....!) I put some of them in the Art section here. And i think you should be proud of your short story. I always think it's a miracle to get anything done when youre suffering from depression. Something someone taught me was to think of 3 things at the end of each day that you have achieved. now if i've had a really bad day that can literally be things like 'got out of bed by lunchtime' or 'fed the cats' but when youre really depressed getting anything done is a bit of a mission lets face it and i think it helps to remember that and give ourselves a bit of a pat on the back

Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 6:05 pm
by ariaax3
I just figured out how to use the forums on here so I'll probably start one soon. As to the writing, I would love to read some of your poems. Haikus are awesome.. I have a few of my own too. I'm thinking of posting them up here, just to see what other people think of them.

I'll have to remember that.. I think that's the one thing my therapist never told me. All she focused on was how to stop cutting, not how to gain more self confidence. Actually my friend made me a paper 'fortune teller' and whenever im down, i read the comments because she wrote all these nice comments about me. It helps alot.

Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 11:43 pm
by lisalou
Sorry everyone if youre reading this for third time,doesnt seem to be 'submitting' ok but maybe it is...?


oh i used to love those fortune teller things! although when we were kids we never wrote anything much more mature than 'you smell of poo!' can't write at the moment i'm afraid cos i'm feeling pretty much like poo myself,it's 4.30 a.m uk time and i've been up since 3,SO TIRED but just cant get back to sleep. am all over the place with new meds that i'm on.
Are you still seeing a therapist or anyone? hope youre getting the support you need

Lisa x (going back to bed and - hopefully! - to sleep)

Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 12:43 pm
by TackingIntoTheWind
Hi (((( Aria ))))! Welcome to the forum! :)
I can certainly recomend (((( lisalou's )))) haikus. 8)
And, I agree with her, ( That's twice I've agreed with an English person, I hope that my fellow Welshmen don't find out about this! :oops: :wink: ), I do find this forum a really good place to " rant ", and find a lot of support. I hope that you will too! :)

Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 1:02 pm
by lisalou
Wow, I didn't even have to pay him to say that!

I just feed him lots of cheese on toast....!

Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 1:51 pm
by ariaax3
haha well, I will check out her haikus whenevr I can, and thank you[:

Yeah the fortune tell really helps at times, and as for my therapist, she doesn't do much. She's just like my parents/stereotypical therapis.. I'll break down, she'll ask how it makes me feel, then looks at my like im just over exagerating. I hate it.. I had to put on a fake smile so my parents would think im OK so I could stop seeing her. It wokred 'cept i had a breakdown infront of them twice last week, then a few more in the middle of the night (luckily they didnt see it). But I think they might send me back.. Im so scared right now..

Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 2:04 pm
by lisalou
oh that's so annoying when therapists just sit there nodding and saying 'And how does that make you feel?' when you clearly feel terrible! I think you should try and find someone new,you need to like and trust your therapist. maybe look on the internet see what's available in your area or the local library is often a good source of information. there might be some youth support groups or something too. I remember the feeling when i was a teenager of my parents and therapist 'ganging up' on me so maybe it would help if you're seeing someone independently of your own choosing

Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 2:13 pm
by ariaax3
I know! Honestly this is working for now, and I really appreciate all the nice people on here. I havent broken down in two days now, so I'm not sure if its all working or if my body's just taking a break. I think thats the feeling I hate the most, not knowing when the next time I'm going to break down.
It happened in school once. I was in first period and I ran to the nurse before I started crying hysterically. My mom came to take me home and she just yelled at me, calling me a 'drama queen' and saying that 'this was the reason im barely passing my classes'.

Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 2:34 pm
by lisalou
that sounds like a pretty insensitive reaction from your mum. honestly,no-one would choose to feel this way and we dont get pleasure out of the 'drama'

pleased things have been a little better for you recently. what've you been up to today?

Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 3:54 pm
by hollyann
ariaax, you are not a drama queen and so sorry your mom did that to you. I know it's late in coming but welcome to the forums.

Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 6:29 pm
by ariaax3
She said it's because I'm a teenager and that im hormonal.. Its really hard.
Not much actually, I've been stuck home for the past few days so ive been trying to relax, its just not really working, im too stressed out.

Thank you hollyann, I really appreciate it.

Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 10:57 pm
by lisalou
oh please...people always patronise teenagers don't they! do you live near a park or beach or anything where you can go for a nice walk to get a bit of time out? or if you literally are stuck at home do you have any DVD's to catch up on or arty activities you could do like drawing or painting or making something? sometimes i find puzzles can be a temporary distraction,or reading if your concentration's up to it.