Depression Understood Forums

Me and this guy have had a crush on eachother for ten years. We meet at a gym and than he was deployed many times but in the 10 years we stayed in contact here and there. Finally we meet up crush is still there for both of us. I have begun to spend time with him. Depression and his PTSD hits and he goes ghost for days. Bounces back and I start helping him with his home cleaning organizing redoing it. He’s so happy and thankful. He doesn’t hide me from his friends and actually has bragged about me. Than another low. Says he wants to be alone so he’s not a burden that I deserve better. His trigger is his dogs and not be housebroken or acting crazy. He explodes and than hits a low for day’s on the couch. This man is sweet loving caring and affectionate when not in his lows. I am trying everything to not taking it personally cause it’s not about me. We have talked about him going back to therapy. Do I stick around does he really want me around? So many emotions on my end. He never texts much unless on one of his highs and than texts and actually calls. How do you know when to stay around or to walk away?

Be open and honest with him, do not take things lying down. In other words voice your concerns. You will be kicking yourself if you do not.

I agree with the above reply. My husband has suffered depression in the past and tried to end his life before I met him. He said he turned his life around by positive thinking. So whenever I have become quite low he has said to me my feelings are important but I need to deal with them and change my attitude rather than wallow in self pity. I guess what I'm saying is stick by him as long as he's prepared to help himself. When I've felt low in the past I have lashed out and pushed people away myself, so I understand why he does it. However it's important he realises what he's doing wrong and finds ways to help how he's feeling and more importantly communicate with you. I myself have not communicated with my husband properly and he has said he wished I would of talked to him properly in a calm rational way as he has felt pushed away. He may feel he is not good enough for you and just be shutting himself away from the world when he hits a low