My boyfriend is feeling hopeless and suicidal - how can i help?

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rosarchie
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Aug 03, 2017 11:40 am

My boyfriend is feeling hopeless and suicidal - how can i help?

Postby rosarchie » Thu Aug 03, 2017 12:34 pm

Would really appreciate some advice. My boyfriend of 4 years is suicidal and for as long as I've known him he's struggled with mental health. Having issues with mental health myself; I feel as though I am fairly understanding of his troubles as I've felt similar but because I have been to therapy and had medication I've been able to recover and learnt how to deal with things better.

Anyway, my boyfriend isn't like me and really struggles to tell anyone anything in regards to his feelings. He has previously told me that he has felt suicidal for the majority of his life, first considering it at only 10 years old (he is now 21). For the 5 years I have known him, he has attempted suicide 3 times through overdose of painkillers and has periods of really intense self harming that have left large scars. Just before Christmas was the last time he attempted suicide and after that he came to live with me in my uni dorm because I am his only source of support - his mum and dad know of his problems but do very little to support him. After months of persuasion, I encouraged him to go to the doctors and to join the gym to try and keep him busy and lift his mood. The doctor gave him a prescription, however he over dosed on those and so was only given small quantities after that and would not consistently take them and then stopped completely and hasn't had them since. Since then I've tried to find things to do to make him enjoy his life more - concerts, holidays etc. and encouraged him to continue being active and keeping in touch with friends and this seemed to work, he spoke about the future and made plans to start university.

However, the past month he's just gone completely back in his shell. He's barely spoken to me and refuses to see me because he doesn't like to be around people when feeling down. As he hasn't spoken to me much, I've been really worried and so looked up his search history as he has previously searched things that suggest he's hurting himself. (I'm very aware this is invasive but by doing this, I cant at least know what frame of mind he's in). I found he's been searching various drugs which could be harmful. I'm feeling very helpless because he's pushing me away and I'm worried he'll try again to harm himself. I have spoken previously to my doctor and councillor about him and they said the only thing I can do is encourage him to seek help himself. I'm really desperate in wanting to help him. has anyone else had a similar experience and if so what can we do to get him to seek help?

littlestarsmum
Posts: 101
Joined: Tue May 16, 2017 11:36 pm

Re: My boyfriend is feeling hopeless and suicidal - how can i help?

Postby littlestarsmum » Mon Aug 07, 2017 2:26 am

Thanks for sharing, Rosarchie. I’m so sorry to hear what your boyfriend is going through. I know how difficult it must be for you to see him struggle. Putting an end to life will never solve our problems. Such a decision would be tragic beyond words. I just said a prayer for him, and I hope that God will surround him with His comfort, strength, and peace. In this situation, it’s best to have one-on-one interaction with a caring professional. Hope he’ll get help soon. Stay strong, girl. Sending hugs & prayers your way!

rosarchie
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Aug 03, 2017 11:40 am

Re: My boyfriend is feeling hopeless and suicidal - how can i help?

Postby rosarchie » Wed Aug 09, 2017 1:49 pm

littlestarsmum wrote:Thanks for sharing, Rosarchie. I’m so sorry to hear what your boyfriend is going through. I know how difficult it must be for you to see him struggle. Putting an end to life will never solve our problems. Such a decision would be tragic beyond words. I just said a prayer for him, and I hope that God will surround him with His comfort, strength, and peace. In this situation, it’s best to have one-on-one interaction with a caring professional. Hope he’ll get help soon. Stay strong, girl. Sending hugs & prayers your way!


Thank you so much

Prycejosh1987
Posts: 415
Joined: Sun May 31, 2020 10:54 am
Location: Birmingham UK

Re: My boyfriend is feeling hopeless and suicidal - how can i help?

Postby Prycejosh1987 » Fri Jun 05, 2020 12:54 pm

rosarchie wrote:Would really appreciate some advice. My boyfriend of 4 years is suicidal and for as long as I've known him he's struggled with mental health. Having issues with mental health myself; I feel as though I am fairly understanding of his troubles as I've felt similar but because I have been to therapy and had medication I've been able to recover and learnt how to deal with things better.

Anyway, my boyfriend isn't like me and really struggles to tell anyone anything in regards to his feelings. He has previously told me that he has felt suicidal for the majority of his life, first considering it at only 10 years old (he is now 21). For the 5 years I have known him, he has attempted suicide 3 times through overdose of painkillers and has periods of really intense self harming that have left large scars. Just before Christmas was the last time he attempted suicide and after that he came to live with me in my uni dorm because I am his only source of support - his mum and dad know of his problems but do very little to support him. After months of persuasion, I encouraged him to go to the doctors and to join the gym to try and keep him busy and lift his mood. The doctor gave him a prescription, however he over dosed on those and so was only given small quantities after that and would not consistently take them and then stopped completely and hasn't had them since. Since then I've tried to find things to do to make him enjoy his life more - concerts, holidays etc. and encouraged him to continue being active and keeping in touch with friends and this seemed to work, he spoke about the future and made plans to start university.

However, the past month he's just gone completely back in his shell. He's barely spoken to me and refuses to see me because he doesn't like to be around people when feeling down. As he hasn't spoken to me much, I've been really worried and so looked up his search history as he has previously searched things that suggest he's hurting himself. (I'm very aware this is invasive but by doing this, I cant at least know what frame of mind he's in). I found he's been searching various drugs which could be harmful. I'm feeling very helpless because he's pushing me away and I'm worried he'll try again to harm himself. I have spoken previously to my doctor and councillor about him and they said the only thing I can do is encourage him to seek help himself. I'm really desperate in wanting to help him. has anyone else had a similar experience and if so what can we do to get him to seek help?

Support is not just feeling sorry for the person and cope with the situation. Support is helping the person find a solution and be there for them when they need you. You need to get him to open up and express his issues to you. I am sure you together can find solutions to your problems and strengthen your connection with each other.

FightToLive
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Dec 27, 2021 8:35 pm

Re: My boyfriend is feeling hopeless and suicidal - how can i help?

Postby FightToLive » Mon Dec 27, 2021 9:16 pm

rosarchie wrote:Would really appreciate some advice. My boyfriend of 4 years is suicidal and for as long as I've known him he's struggled with mental health. Having issues with mental health myself; I feel as though I am fairly understanding of his troubles as I've felt similar but because I have been to therapy and had medication I've been able to recover and learnt how to deal with things better.

Anyway, my boyfriend isn't like me and really struggles to tell anyone anything in regards to his feelings. He has previously told me that he has felt suicidal for the majority of his life, first considering it at only 10 years old (he is now 21). For the 5 years I have known him, he has attempted suicide 3 times through overdose of painkillers and has periods of really intense self harming that have left large scars. Just before Christmas was the last time he attempted suicide and after that he came to live with me in my uni dorm because I am his only source of support - his mum and dad know of his problems but do very little to support him. After months of persuasion, I encouraged him to go to the doctors and to join the gym to try and keep him busy and lift his mood. The doctor gave him a prescription, however he over dosed on those and so was only given small quantities after that and would not consistently take them and then stopped completely and hasn't had them since. Since then I've tried to find things to do to make him enjoy his life more - concerts, holidays etc. and encouraged him to continue being active and keeping in touch with friends and this seemed to work, he spoke about the future and made plans to start university.

However, the past month he's just gone completely back in his shell. He's barely spoken to me and refuses to see me because he doesn't like to be around people when feeling down. As he hasn't spoken to me much, I've been really worried and so looked up his search history as he has previously searched things that suggest he's hurting himself. (I'm very aware this is invasive but by doing this, I cant at least know what frame of mind he's in). I found he's been searching various drugs which could be harmful. I'm feeling very helpless because he's pushing me away and I'm worried he'll try again to harm himself. I have spoken previously to my doctor and councillor about him and they said the only thing I can do is encourage him to seek help himself. I'm really desperate in wanting to help him. has anyone else had a similar experience and if so what can we do to get him to seek help?


I'm not sure if I'm replying here but I'm having a similar issues here. i want to help this man who i consider the love of my life. He needs help, he says he was seeing a therapist before but nothing like this has helped him. He broke up with me because he wants to get himself right but also asked me not to wait. I honestly don't see a future where he is not my partner. I need to know how to help him. He says it's not just thoughts and feelings that their are urges too and that he attempted suicide his last year of high school. I recently found all this out before he broke up with me. He says he loves me and does not want me to think this has to do with me. But i need him to at least be ok. I want to be with him so much but I also want to allow him time to figure things out. We still talk via text everyday but 'm afraid one day i may never get a reply. How do i help him, what can I do ? I've asked him to get help and he said he would try and i remind him i am here for him and that i love him for who he is, but i know that it won't fix anything. If you or anyone else has advice i could really use it


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