Son's depression, who do I deal with it?

Depression/anxiety may have touched your family, your friends, yourself; what helps you to deal with it? Sharing is caring!

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SadMom
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2015 10:48 am
Location: Western PA

Son's depression, who do I deal with it?

Postby SadMom » Mon Mar 16, 2015 10:54 am

My son has been depressed, diagnosed bi-polar, for twenty years, but refuses help. He has occasionally threatened suicide. I've tried everything, getting him to therapy, on medications; nothing works.
Now what?
Sad and Confused in Pennsylvania

SadMom
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2015 10:48 am
Location: Western PA

I meant "How" do I deal with it.

Postby SadMom » Mon Mar 16, 2015 10:55 am

First day on the block.
Sad and Confused in Pennsylvania

susanpetrick
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Mar 24, 2015 7:14 am

Postby susanpetrick » Thu Mar 26, 2015 9:26 am

Hi! You need to talk to him regularly. Go for a vacation, motivate him to do yoga and meditation. Be always with him, motivate hi to make new friends, join some classes of his interest.

LuisSteven
Posts: 29
Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2015 3:43 am

Postby LuisSteven » Thu Mar 26, 2015 9:35 am

Never talk to children rudely; it will just make your bonding weaker and weaker. Share your childhood memories with them; it makes them feel special. It also helps if you spend time explaining difficult experiences you had and how you coped.

SadMom
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2015 10:48 am
Location: Western PA

Depressed Son

Postby SadMom » Thu Mar 26, 2015 10:29 am

Those are all great suggestions; but I've done most of them, and he hates to listen to any advice from me.
Did I mention he's almost forty?

He needs counseling but refuses to change his situation.
He has mentioned suicide which terrifies me.
Sad and Confused in Pennsylvania

nenkohai2
Posts: 143
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2014 12:43 pm

Postby nenkohai2 » Thu Mar 26, 2015 5:29 pm

Being 40 does add different dynamics.

As such, you can't MAKE him do anything. You don't say if he's married or has children. I can tell you that I sought-out treatment once I realized my depression had become a quality of life issue for me AND my family. I've been with treatment and counseling for over 20 years now, and it has made a huge difference. Huge.

The bottom line is that it is all on him. Its all his choice. Keep in mind, that if you legitimately feel he is a threat to himself, you should call 911 (here in the US, at least). Do not hesitate. Where I live, EMS doesn't show-up, but the police. But, they know the drill.

Remember, though, you can not control him. So, perhaps its time to start considering what you need to do to ease the grip of terror on yourself. Perhaps you, yourself should seek out counseling?

Only my thoughts and opinions...
Good Luck with it

N.

SadMom
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2015 10:48 am
Location: Western PA

Postby SadMom » Thu Mar 26, 2015 5:54 pm

He has no wife or family, which he doesn't understand is because of his morose attitude.

Your reply was perfect, N, and I'm thinking along the same lines. I can only do so much.

I spoke to him today and he sounded so depressed, I begged him to get help, but he hung up on me.

I need to get hold of myself, so true.

D
Sad and Confused in Pennsylvania

nenkohai2
Posts: 143
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2014 12:43 pm

Postby nenkohai2 » Fri Mar 27, 2015 10:05 am

Well, I would say, D, not so much "get a hold of yourself," as "protect yourself." And I speak mostly of your own mental well being.

In my opinion, it is not fair of him to come to you in such a state, then you express concern and a path to wellness and then him hang up on you. He wants you to know how he feels, but yet, will not get help? Not fair. massively immature for a 40 year old.

Really, if he just starts a dialog with his regular doctor, getting on a path to wellness can be relatively low impact. But he has to be willing to do it. If he threatens himself or (God forbid) someone else there very likely could be involuntary hospitalization involved.

I've seen it before: attention-seeking behaviors then anger at the mere suggestion of getting help. It can be very frustrating and heartbreaking.

Please take care of yourself.

N

SadMom
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2015 10:48 am
Location: Western PA

Depressed Son

Postby SadMom » Fri Mar 27, 2015 10:45 am

That's what I meant, protect myself. I still can't help trying to fix him.
We live 7 hours apart so it isn't easy.
Yes, he is immature, but I think that runs in the family; we're all a little unstable and many are on anti-depression meds. This fact never impresses him (you're one of us!)

He doesn't think the meds work, but perhaps he wasn't on the right one yet. I tried to explain that to him.

I have a good friend down where he is and she will look in on him for me.

Thanks for your response.

D
Sad and Confused in Pennsylvania


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