I'm worried and confused...

Depression/anxiety may have touched your family, your friends, yourself; what helps you to deal with it? Sharing is caring!

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kablamo
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Apr 11, 2013 8:15 pm

I'm worried and confused...

Postby kablamo » Thu Apr 11, 2013 8:18 pm

Hi,
I've never used anything like this before so I'm not too sure what to say, or if I'm even in the right place.
I'm worried about my mom, she has a history of depression but I thought she has been okay the last few years.
Every now and again though she'll go out with her friends and get really drunk, as in can barely stand.
This happened tonight. She just kept telling everyone she loved them and that she was sick of everything and she wanted it all to end.
I took care of her, helped her through her getting sick and put her to bed. But I am worried so much I feel sick.
She was so drunk that she fell and really hurt her nose, I don't think it is broken but still.
I woke my Dad up for help but he isn't really helpful. He's tries but he just doesn't get it. When my mom's friends dropped her off they were worried and asked me to sit with her but when I mentioned waking my Dad they were adamant not to. It makes me think maybe they aren't as happy together as I thought. I know they annoy each other, but that happens with all couples. I don't know what to think. I had to wake him in the end as it was too much for me by myself.
She never really wants to talk about anything when she's sober but when she does drink like this, which isn't often, it all comes out.
I don't know what to do. I have been struggling myself recently but I don't know what to do. Everything is just getting on top of me.
I'm finishing university this year and I don't know what to do with myself.
I'm currently sitting up in bed listening to make sure she doesn't try get up while she is still that drunk, I'm afraid she might fall again or something.
I just feel really helpless in general.

dougsan
Posts: 104
Joined: Thu Apr 11, 2013 1:59 pm
Location: Massachusetts

Postby dougsan » Fri Apr 12, 2013 10:15 am

Based on my experiences, which are somewhat similiar and detailed in another post, your job in all of this is to take care of yourself. Too much of what you're going through and you will be the one suffering from depression. Your dad seems to be like mine was, he doesn't understand what your mother -- his spouse -- is going through and doesn't know what to do.

If I were you I would make a call on my mum's religious leader. S/he should be able to give you a directed course of action -- professional assistance for you and your mother. If you choose to shoulder these responsibilities understand you have to follow through to the end and the route you will have to travel will be long, harder than you can imagine, and with out much thanks.

Yelling at me from my memories of accepting this role with my mum are the words, "Get out while you can." Some people could turn their backs on the pain and suffering I couldn't and your post suggests you can't. If you ever need a shoulder to vent against, please contact me.

SMcGregor
Posts: 35
Joined: Fri Sep 20, 2013 8:13 am

Postby SMcGregor » Thu Oct 03, 2013 9:08 am

Although many people are treated with anti depressant drugs, these medications do not cure the underlying hurt or sadness that is the true cause of the depression.

Learn to overcome depression by understanding and practising:

The conscious ability to relax and release stress any time, anywhere.
The ability to focus the mind.
The ability to neutralise or reprogram subconscious “hurt memories”.
The ability to develop mind/body exercises to overcome depression.
The ability to develop new responses to current experiences.

Frame
Moderator
Posts: 1081
Joined: Mon Jun 17, 2013 11:25 am
Location: Pennsylvania

Postby Frame » Thu Oct 03, 2013 9:27 am

I'm with SMcGregor, depression is a reaction, a symptom. It's important to look beyond the symptoms to understand underlying causes. Medication can alter symptoms and sometime underlying causes, but in my opinion rarely if ever alleviates root causes. And I've seen plenty of cases where medication obscured them or made them worse.

I'm not warning people against medication. I'm warning that it must be in addition to a practice toward understanding.


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