Partner with depression rejecting me

Depression/anxiety may have touched your family, your friends, yourself; what helps you to deal with it? Sharing is caring!

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Joined: Wed Apr 03, 2013 3:39 pm

Partner with depression rejecting me

Postby [email protected] » Wed Apr 03, 2013 3:54 pm

Dear all,

I've been seeing my partner for just over seven months now. While we have enjoyed very good times together, I came to believe a couple of months ago that they were loosing interest in our relationship. Our conversations became less frequent and even awkward; he seemed withdrawn and despondent. I felt rejected, and told him that I didn't think our relationship would work, He responded with considerable feeling and told me that he did want me, and that he wanted our relationship to work. I was confused, but decided to carry on.

Things went downhill, though. He later lost interest in sex, and became progressively more withdrawn. When I tried to talk to him about it, he became defensive and refused to talk about his feelings in depth. He recently began taking anti-depressents, and it was then that I began to realise that my experience was basically identical with many of the posts on this and other sites.

I believe that the most likely explanation is that my partner has depression, and that things may well get worse. Understanding this helps, but I still feel rejected and extremely bitter at times. We haven't been together long, but wr formed a strong bond.

My deliberatn at the moment is whether I should get out of this before things get worse. I genuinely care for this person and I would like to have a relstionship with them, but I'm not sure if that's possible anymore.


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Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2014 12:22 pm
Location: United Kingdom

Postby alan1977 » Thu Mar 20, 2014 12:51 pm

I am sorry to hear this
Im not the best one for advice, i am in a similar situation with an (ex) partner
dealing with depression and other similar problems,
The ride is rough in my experience.
If your partner is ready to deal with his problems, asking for professional help, i would say try.
My ex could never fully commit to trying to beat her problems, drinking while on medication, not attending self help classes etc. i stuck with it, there would be highs and lows. And i would find myself in circles. Ive been kicked out of my house twice now, and had to deal with her having a random relationship immediately upon seperation.
If i had known how much long term pain this would have given me, i think i would have walked away when it was less painful and our lives were less intertwined.

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Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2014 9:25 pm

Postby dazed_n_confused » Mon Jun 30, 2014 9:52 pm

i am new to this group, I've been reading up on depression as much as i can due to my partner and what he's going thru.. i hope i can get some help/answers from ppl that are dealing with the same issues as me..

i have been with my bf for 7 months now but we've known each other for 10yrs, close friends with a very strong emotional bond. anyway, for the last 7 months its been with out a doubt wonderful. we laugh all the time communicate very well and have so much fun together, things were PERFECT!
Till last week he says he'd like to go back to just being friends, while telling me this he's crying being affectionate and very loving… the more we talk the more he reveals that he's better off being alone that way he won't hurt anyone, he told me he can't give me what i deserve that he can't commit to me.
He expressed that he doesn't want to hurt or disappoint me. i told him i was worried about him and he replied "don't worry about me I'm not worth it" He has no self worth, torn with guilt from his past relationships says he doesn't deserve to be happy.
i know he suffers from depression and was on meds last year.
I would do anything for this man, from giving him time and space to any support he needs.
I want to help him i just don't know how.. i cry all the time because of this, i feel so useless and completely helpless. how do you help the one person you love more then anything from drowning emotionally?!
please if anyone can give me any tools that would help i would so appreciate it.

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Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2015 3:43 am

Postby LuisSteven » Tue Mar 03, 2015 1:22 am

Hey mikew,

Tell the depressed person that he or she is loved, deserves to feel better, and will feel better with appropriate treatment. If the depressed person is functional and refuses treatment, seek the assistance of others — friends, doctor, clergy, relatives — who might convince him or her that treatment is needed and will help. Don’t give up too soon — the depressed person may have to hear more than once and from several people that he deserves to feel better and can, with proper treatment.

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