Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2014 11:20 am
I like this thread because it explains that there are no rules for dealing with other's depression.
It starts with these truths:
1. I am not responsible for someone else's actions, thoughts or feelings.
2. I can not "fix" someone else. I can only "fix" myself.
3. Do not allow their grief/depression to become my own.
4. Always speak with compassion and respect.
5. Every suicide threat should be handled as if it was the one real time they mean it. Refer them to a hotline and do not continue the conversation any further. Trying to help someone when you are not trained in how to handle a crisis can cause more harm than good.
6. Try to think of what they need to hear and not what you need to say. Listen. Don't hear what you think they mean. Hear what they are saying.
Leads to the question of what do you do when someone needs help:
TackingIntoTheWind writes:
So, to answer your question even if the cause of your depression isn't something that other people can control, I very much suspect that it IS something that other people will be able to help you control.
CrispyRingo (who is depressed) replies with:
I also realized that there are three ways I can fix it
And TackingIntoTheWind points out:
Also, might there not be more than three solutions to any problem? ... As I often remind myself, sometimes it's better to see things in more flexible terms, not always in terms of black-and-white, perfection-or-disaster, ...
And then concerning_giants writes several months later:
We're both students and exam time has been more stressful than ever for both of us because of his 'bad days' but I'm now more confident that we can overcome the current turmoil. He's scheduled to start a course of cognitive behavioral therapy in the new year ....
For me a trigger for my depression is the impression that I have some sort of control and my disappointment when the world shows me that control is an illusion. The cusp of this argument is acceptance and perseverance using compassion and respect. Sometimes, out of respect, I need to separate myself from a situation because my compassion is not being reciprocated and renewed.
It starts with these truths:
1. I am not responsible for someone else's actions, thoughts or feelings.
2. I can not "fix" someone else. I can only "fix" myself.
3. Do not allow their grief/depression to become my own.
4. Always speak with compassion and respect.
5. Every suicide threat should be handled as if it was the one real time they mean it. Refer them to a hotline and do not continue the conversation any further. Trying to help someone when you are not trained in how to handle a crisis can cause more harm than good.
6. Try to think of what they need to hear and not what you need to say. Listen. Don't hear what you think they mean. Hear what they are saying.
Leads to the question of what do you do when someone needs help:
TackingIntoTheWind writes:
So, to answer your question even if the cause of your depression isn't something that other people can control, I very much suspect that it IS something that other people will be able to help you control.
CrispyRingo (who is depressed) replies with:
I also realized that there are three ways I can fix it
And TackingIntoTheWind points out:
Also, might there not be more than three solutions to any problem? ... As I often remind myself, sometimes it's better to see things in more flexible terms, not always in terms of black-and-white, perfection-or-disaster, ...
And then concerning_giants writes several months later:
We're both students and exam time has been more stressful than ever for both of us because of his 'bad days' but I'm now more confident that we can overcome the current turmoil. He's scheduled to start a course of cognitive behavioral therapy in the new year ....
For me a trigger for my depression is the impression that I have some sort of control and my disappointment when the world shows me that control is an illusion. The cusp of this argument is acceptance and perseverance using compassion and respect. Sometimes, out of respect, I need to separate myself from a situation because my compassion is not being reciprocated and renewed.