Alcoholic, depressed boyfriend with gaming addiction?

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PurpleTalisman
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Jul 13, 2020 7:26 am

Alcoholic, depressed boyfriend with gaming addiction?

Postby PurpleTalisman » Mon Jul 13, 2020 8:13 am

Hello,

I am writing to try to get some light or advice with the situation that I am experiencing now.

My partner (31 from the US) and I (30, from Chile) have been together for 3 years. We live together for 2 years and he has been depressed for about a year already. I try to support him, but it doesn't seem to come though as support. He thinks I do not understand him, that I do not love him as I should, that I do not offer the support he needs. When I try to bring up my feelings he has told me that I am mean, that I am stupid, that I am boring and that I am just selfish. I am very confused.

I joined online-therapy because I am thinking that I have issues in the way I communicate, because whenever I try to offer some love and support I get anger and resentment back.

Lately things are pretty bad. He has pushed away all friendships. All he does is drink until he is drunk enough to fall asleep, smoke weed, order junkfood and play video games or scroll his phone. He refuses to clean the house or even tidy up after himself. He doesn't have a job, he is not trying to study, or really do anything in order to have a sustainable life.

I am the one paying for all the bills, even though I have a minimum wage job where I earn just enough to get by. I am the one cleaning, getting the house into a living space, cooking, doing grocery shopping, studying on the side, and basically the one keeping things a little together. And I honestly feel a little crazy. I wake up fearing what am I going to do wrong to make him upset. Sometimes me just looking at him can trigger some kind of fight. I am afraid of saying something that will make him more upset.

He is been treating me with such unkindness, that I don't know if is the depression, is the alcohol or if he just hates me.

The therapist that is advising me doesn't want to focus on him so much, as she wants to focus on my own growth. And I get that, but I want to help him. And I feel clueless. I ask him to please go to a therapist, but he doesn't think it will work. He would never take medications to get out of the depression.

All he cares about are video games, all day, all night. I don' t know how he can sustain himself if it wasn't for me. I would love to encourage him to try to study something, to volunteer, workout or do anything. But he won't listen. He thinks that there is nothing wrong to just behaving like a 13 year old.

I love him and I know if he would get some treatment life would be way more fulfilling. He is a talented person, he is very creative and super smart but nothing seems to excite him anymore.

How can I guide him to get help without being too pushy?

Whoever is reading this, thank you. I appreciate your time so much.

Elisabeth75
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Jul 17, 2020 11:13 am

Re: Alcoholic, depressed boyfriend with gaming addiction?

Postby Elisabeth75 » Fri Jul 24, 2020 3:39 am

PurpleTalisman wrote:Hello,

I am writing to try to get some light or advice with the situation that I am experiencing now.

My partner (31 from the US) and I (30, from Chile) have been together for 3 years. We live together for 2 years and he has been depressed for about a year already. I try to support him, but it doesn't seem to come though as support. He thinks I do not understand him, that I do not love him as I should, that I do not offer the support he needs. When I try to bring up my feelings he has told me that I am mean, that I am stupid, that I am boring and that I am just selfish. I am very confused.

I joined online-therapy because I am thinking that I have issues in the way I communicate, because whenever I try to offer some love and support I get anger and resentment back.

Lately things are pretty bad. He has pushed away all friendships. All he does is drink until he is drunk enough to fall asleep, smoke weed, order junkfood and play video games or scroll his phone. He refuses to clean the house or even tidy up after himself. He doesn't have a job, he is not trying to study, or really do anything in order to have a sustainable life.

I am the one paying for all the bills, even though I have a minimum wage job where I earn just enough to get by. He work on a miel de jujubier company. I am the one cleaning, getting the house into a living space, cooking, doing grocery shopping, studying on the side, and basically the one keeping things a little together. And I honestly feel a little crazy. I wake up fearing what am I going to do wrong to make him upset. Sometimes me just looking at him can trigger some kind of fight. I am afraid of saying something that will make him more upset.

He is been treating me with such unkindness, that I don't know if is the depression, is the alcohol or if he just hates me.

The therapist that is advising me doesn't want to eat pot 7 guerisons and the costus indien, he want to focus on him so much, as she wants to focus on my own growth. And I get that, but I want to help him. And I feel clueless. I ask him to please go to a therapist, but he doesn't think it will work. He would never take medications to get out of the depression.

All he cares about are video games, all day, all night and when he eat some dattes ajwa. I don' t know how he can sustain himself if it wasn't for me. I would love to encourage him to try to study something, to volunteer, workout or do anything. But he won't listen. He thinks that there is nothing wrong to just behaving like a 13 year old.

I love him and I know if he would get some treatment life would be way more fulfilling. He is a talented person, he is very creative and super smart but nothing seems to excite him anymore.

How can I guide him to get help without being too pushy?

Whoever is reading this, thank you. I appreciate your time so much.


I don't have the solution, but I can only wish you good luck...
Last edited by Elisabeth75 on Sat Aug 29, 2020 3:12 am, edited 1 time in total.

Prycejosh1987
Posts: 415
Joined: Sun May 31, 2020 10:54 am
Location: Birmingham UK

Re: Alcoholic, depressed boyfriend with gaming addiction?

Postby Prycejosh1987 » Thu Aug 13, 2020 12:51 pm

It seems they are all addictions and stem from mentality. Depression comes from triggers, alcohol stems from coping with the depression, and gaming stems from coping with depression. If he can cure the depression and cut off the triggers then he will find power to overcome his alcohol and gaming issues. Good luck, its your job as his partner to help him with this, what you will get out of it, is a more powerful relationship with him. Its worth investing in.

CamGirl
Posts: 143
Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2017 2:04 am

Re: Alcoholic, depressed boyfriend with gaming addiction?

Postby CamGirl » Mon Sep 21, 2020 11:38 pm

You need to take care of your own mental health. Only you can tell how much more you can take. Stay strong.

jackiehair59
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Sep 24, 2020 2:00 pm

Re: Alcoholic, depressed boyfriend with gaming addiction?

Postby jackiehair59 » Thu Sep 24, 2020 2:12 pm

I am a wife of an alcoholic it is very hard to live with so I understand your anguish. We have been married for 26 years and 10 of those have been destroyed by him drinking. I continue to battle with this daily, hence I suffer from depression and taking medication for it. I understand your battle, but don't be a doormat to your other half, stay strong!

jassim
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Sep 29, 2020 6:06 am

Re: Alcoholic, depressed boyfriend with gaming addiction?

Postby jassim » Tue Sep 29, 2020 6:11 am

Hi im a 14 years old boy and im suffering with depression with my family if anyone can help me talk to me please help me im giving up everyday
Last edited by Astrid on Mon Oct 05, 2020 4:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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pattephip
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Jan 05, 2022 5:35 pm

Re: Alcoholic, depressed boyfriend with gaming addiction?

Postby pattephip » Wed Jan 05, 2022 5:39 pm

It's sad to read that and to know that I was in a similar situation. I'm entirely sorry this happened to you, and I'm also sorry for your boyfriend, who is going through a difficult stage in his life. I think you should refer him to a therapist, as well as try to get him signed up for a course at https://www.theluckiestclub.com/join-community so people with similar situations can open his eyes. As I've found in my experience, until I have someone with an addiction like me talking to me, I won't take in the information. I understand how horrible and sad it is, but if your guy is the same way, you should turn him over to professionals for a solution.


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