life: stress meds thinking sadness
Posted: Mon Feb 22, 2010 11:40 am
im new to all this never really wanted to write so all can see usually only in a journal. I guess it's a mixture anxiety depression and medication that works but am sick of taking. I feel embarresed i take them, after being a guinea pig for so long. Explaining myself to those i love when i dont feel i have to explain b/c everyone believes im getting better due to me...yet now they think im cured. Only thing is im not 100% i still smoke..both...take lamictal celexa klonopin and adderall 2 controlled substances some dont make sense besides just pure addictiveness. I still have problems handling everyday stupid things without going nutz and wanting to hide it's an everyday battle still but instead im not covering in the sheets just doing small things to feel a sense of accomplishment. recently my hrs got cut and i dont know wat to do. it's making me go insane...depressed as hell when i did an awsome job and be screwed over. It gave me structure. On top of that i was able to work with people. I was told i was unable to handle the pressure effectivly and that hurt. I dont like that i have to wear bracelets to cover scars on my wrists.