Depression Understood Forums

Hey,

My name is Laurie and I have decided to look for a website that may help. I tend to look at groups that depress me even more. I need to stop that.

I have suffered for many years and I am in a very depressed mood right now. I thought it would go away in a few days, a few days have come and went and I am still in the same mood.

I feel that I have no "real: friends. (well, maybe one). I attend church regulary and several small groups that are related to church but feel that no one REALLY want to get close to me or get to know me or support me because of my issues. What I wouldn't do for a phone call from someone just asking if I was ok. They know I am not (pastor knows) but do not reach out to me. It makes me feel very issolated.

I am married to a wonderful man, who "gets me". He understands the best that he can and does what he can. I still have one child at home who will be 13 on Saturday. I have two adult children who are married. I have one grandchild and two one the way.

I work as a Nanny. I am off for the summer due to her parents being school teachers.

I had a panic attack while I was sleeping today, that's a new one. Never have done that before. Don't care to do that again.

I am on meds and have been for many years. They seem to work some times, and not others. I have a tyroid disease that causes depression.

Well, I guess that is enough for now. Hope to get to know some new people soon.

Laurie

Hi Laurie,

I hope that you have as good an experience with being a member of this forum, as I have.

It is fortunate for me that now, I have friends that are really my friends. I am afraid that I went on for about 45 years, without having any "real friends" either. It does make a person feel very isolated, and sad to spend so much time alone.

For a good portion of my life my tv, was my best friend.

You don't mention in your post whether you have, son or daughters, or a mixture of both. It is good that your husband in on your side.

I am looking forward to getting the chance to know you better. Hope you keep posting.

Thanks Monty

My oldest child is a girl (woman), she is 22, married, has one little girl and another one will make her entrance August 12th.
Her husband is in the Marines, so she lives far from me.

My middle child is a boy (man). who is 21, getting married in September, has baby boy due in October and will delploy in November He is also a Marine. He lives here in town.

Our youngest is also a boy, who will be 13 on Saturday. He is the only one living at home now. We adopted him from Korea when he was a baby.

My middle son and his soon to be wife are adopting her sister's four month old little girl, so in a year's time I have gone from no grandchildren to four That's the good part of my life.

It's sad to say, but the TV is pretty much my best friend too. I watch alot and rent movies from the library. I do read some, but have to make myself do that at times.

My mother is very supportive and I don't know how I would have raised my kids without her. My oldest has bipolar amongst alot of other things I will go into at some time. I cringe to see how many of my grandchildren come out "normal". My middle son has ADHD/Rage Disorder of some kind, etc.

My father is suffering from Alzh., which is very difficult for my mother. My siblings seem to finally be getting their heads out of the sand and realizing he is not doing well, finally.

Today has been on "ok" day. Had to make myself go to grocery store. Nothing to eat in the house. I was suppossed to go on Saturday.

I have issues with paranoia (sp?) which makes getting out and about difficult at times. About 3/4 of the way through Walmart I felt like I was about to jump out of my skin, but got it together and got the stuff home and put away.

How long have you been here, Monty? Tell me about yourself.

Hi Laurie,

I am glad that you were able to post back so quickly.
It was good for me to learn some more about you. Makes it easier to imagine who you are posting back to.

I have a couple of children. One of each. My son is 27. Has given me a grand-daughter. Like your son, he also suffers from ADD. That diagnosis has caused him difficulty all his life. School was just our own little version of hell, until he dropped out in grade 10. It is just didn't work for him. The school that he went to was a small rural one, they didn't have the help available that he needed. He was always a good boy, and has grown up to be a fine man, that I am very proud of.

My daughter is 24 and is getting married in October. She did better in the school system and is a Chartered Accountant.

Even though,regarding school, you would never know that they were brother and sister. I am extremely proud of both of them.

Neither live in the same city as me, so I don't get to see either of them very often.

I think that the reason that I liked the tv so much, was that it was always there when I pushed the button. Also stayed with me as long as I wanted it to.

It is also odd that we have the same issues with an ageing parent. My mother is slipping quite quickly. I have been taking care of her for about 4 years now. My younger brother also lives in the same city as me, so has no reason to not understand what is going on (other than denial) but is finally catching on to just how serious the situation is. I can't leave me mother alone for very long right now. Actually I am just in the process of trying to figure out how I am going to be someone to stay with her while I am away on holidays in September.

On a couple of occasions I had psychotic breaks. They didn't last long, and I haven't had one for more than a decade but they sure weren't fun.

I used to live in a small town, and I got that I thought that everyone was talking about me and that it was imperative that no one in the town knew that is suffered from a mental illness. I was always looking behind my back, hoping that they wouldn't figure it out. I did become severely agoraphobic, I only came out of my room when I can.

Looking back I realize that they all knew. I wasn't so worried about myself, because I didn't need people (or think that I did) but I had children that I was concerned how they would be treated in the community.

The good thing seems to be that a lot of that is behind me now. I must admit that the situation with my mother is very trying, and is affecting my mental health quite adversely. I am still in there swinging though.

I said in my earlier post that I have found this forum very helpful for me. A safe place to share.

Take care