Teenage obsessions and food

[Ouid]

Hi im ouid (not my real name) i am a teenager living in the netherlands with (diagnosed) add and autism.
So i have been dealing with ups and downs for i think for the last 2/3 years now, i always feel down and i dont know why yet it keeps becoming more and more extreme, usually i feel depressed for a couple of weeks/months dont sleep and stay up the whole night and feel like shit and then i have a period of 1 day-2/3 weeks that i feel like i have my whole life under controll and i have conquered my mind by will, these periods last very short normally but they feel really good.

Well i went to my psychiatrist about 2 weeks ago i think to talk about how my medication has been working (on adhd medication right now) and how ive been doing and i mentioned to her that i have been feeling down again but that im not suicidal this time and that i guess i just have to wait again till it goes away. Cause thats what i believed at the time to
This appointment was during school break and after that it has only gotten worse but this time it feels different, not worse than any other lows but different than usual, normally im really energetic at school (with my friends) because i get energized when im with people i like and then i am really angry when i get home because i have no energy left (this i think has probaly to do with my autism making me very tired AFTER hanging out with people but im diagnosed as high functioning so i mask pretty well and dont have as many of the common traits as is stereotyped which is why people normally cant tell that im autistic and just think im a little weird)
I also get stressed a lot because of school in those periods, i have no time management but i can not stand getting a bad mark or i will probaly have a panic attack , i come from a family where im the youngest and most of my siblings do very well academically and so have my parents, school is easy for me but no energy causes me to not do any work.
Well this time im feeling really suicidal, i thought about jumping of the roof and i cried then i felt how full my stomach was, i have just eaten pizza and i had not eaten since breakfest which makes me hate myself, this means i either get one meal and feel like shit or have 3 meals and probably overeat a lot and also feel shit. This is why i made the account
Well i started school after a two week break and i have no energy at school, not only that but the people who im friends with and sit with have been making me feel really anoyed, meaning i act like a total bitch cause suddenly i hate them for no reason and i dont know why, their not doing anything different than usual or wrong at all yet i cant stand being with anyone but i cant be alone either.

Well i went out with a friend (L)of mine (outside of school) we’ve known eachother for 8 years now and i think she knows basically everything about me, we go to different secondary schools but we live pretty close, we have had time periods where we dont see eachother for months but we still connect and we relate on a lot of different levels, well we were smoking in the park together with her friend C who i talked to via snapchat a few times but never in real life but she was nice. Well lilly and chanel asked if they could send a message to my ex (we broke up about 1 1/2 months ago) cause L doesnt seem to like him so i said sure cause i was bored as hell and we only had 4 cigarettes between the three of us (i had plannen to get cigarettes but i was to scared to approach anyone and L and C both refused to go with me ) so they started texting him and suprisingly he actually reacted nice and i found out he was in a mental hospital around 30-50 km north from were we live (im really bad at calculating distances!) so we were al like wtf so when me and L came to my room (we were having a sleepover) i texted him some more and we plannen to smoke a joint for his birthday when i was gonna visit him.
Well L was pretty anoyed with me cause like i said she doesnt like him (she has never met him though)
But it was whatever. So after our sleepover i went to work and didnt text him for a few days. Well then school started and i felt like shit again and like i said i am for some reason really hating my friends so i texted him out of boredom to see if our plans were still up , well i think we talked for about 16-24 (time flew by very fast!) and he was being really nice and sweet so in like two days after that we decided we are gonna smoke a joint this sunday and do mushrooms the 19th for his birthday when he’s back in town (he’s done mushrooms before so he knows what they do exactly and its my first time so i was pretty hyped) well of cource now hes been nice for a couple days and he’s a total dick, i told him how i was feeling kinda low and hating pretty much everyone and then he basically asked if thats the reason ive been texting him so much.
And i was really anoyed for no reason other than that i haddnt eaten in 16 hours so i told him to f*** off and that he was the one actively texting me back and then he said i was the one who texted him first and then i realized he isnt actually interested in talking to me he was just reacting to my messages, so now ive stopped texting him but im pretty sure our plans are still up lmaoo well ive typed this really long story but i feel a little better now so i think i can go to sleep, any advice is greatly asked for:)

[DeeBear]

Hi Ouid,
Dealing with people is something I have always struggled with. Hopefully this forum will help with that!
Take care,
D

[maruusa]

Teens are often susceptible to unhealthy eating habits, such as consuming fast food, carbonated drinks, fast food, and foods high in sugar. This can lead to uncontrolled weight gain, and health problems fnf such as diabetes, obesity, and cardiovascular problems.

[jeffreestar]

Since you're already seeing a psychiatrist, it's crucial to keep communicating with them about how you're feeling. They can adjust your medication or offer therapy to help you cope better. that's not my neighbor

[lilycollins9x]

You're not alone in this, and some people care about you and want to help you through this difficult time. incredibox

[edith216]

It's important to keep talking to your psychiatrist about how you're feeling. They can adjust your medication or offer therapy to help you cope better.

[matthew231]

This is a bravely honest story about the struggles you're facing. It's clear that you're dealing with a lot - ADHD, autism, depression, social difficulties, and emotional swings.

[warydegree]

Hey, it sounds like you’re dealing with a lot right now. It's great that you’re reachingbasketball stars out for support. It might help to talk to your psychiatrist or a counselor about these feelings, especially the suicidal thoughts. Lean on trusted friends and family, and try to be gentle with yourself.