Hello there! 22 year old girl, low self esteem.

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TabbyCat123
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun May 09, 2021 8:20 am

Hello there! 22 year old girl, low self esteem.

Postby TabbyCat123 » Sun May 09, 2021 9:07 am

Once upon a time, there was a bird whose cage was in a quiet, shadowy room, the only room the bird has ever known.
One day the bird’s owner, while doing some much-needed house cleaning, decides to move the cage outside.
For the first time, the bird sees other birds flying free. The bird watches them diving through the air, singing and playing, wrestling in trees, and cooing and pecking one another. The caged bird immediately feels resentful:
“Those birds should be in cages”.
The bird tries to ignore them but finds everything about them vexing.
“How shallow and irresponsible they are!”
Even their lovely singing is torturous to the bird.
“I wish they would stop making that noise!”
Finally, after a long day of cleaning, the owner returns the bird to the dark, shadowy room.
The bird sighs with relief; never questioning the bars or considering the possibility of a life beyond the cage.

I feel a lot like the bird in this story. I know that if I take my "cage of insecurities" to the outside, I’ll never be happy. I will just continue to resent people who are free.
I do my best to avoid social interaction by putting up barriers to protect me from being let down. These barriers are my own insecurities:
“Why would you expect them to be nice to you? They’re laughing AT you not with you, just walk away so that they can’t make an even bigger fool out of you”
“You are so socially awkward! Nothing really changed since the bullying in primary school, you’re STILL an outsider!”
“The only place you will EVER feel safe is at home with your parents. You can’t handle yourself outside, where it’s so hard to make friends. People will eventually reject you when they’ve had enough; you can’t trust them”
“Why would he ever really be interested in you? Just because a guy finds you physically attractive, it doesn’t mean anything. Just take the flirtation and leave. Just like you did with your other exes”

I know I need to get these thoughts out of my head, but it is a process and I'm struggling with it. If anyone else feels the same way, I'm asking you to please reach out. Maybe we can support each other :)

CamGirl
Posts: 143
Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2017 2:04 am

Re: Hello there! 22 year old girl, low self esteem.

Postby CamGirl » Mon May 10, 2021 6:43 am

Hi there. When we experienced bullying in life, there's really a tendency to feel all these issues. It's hard to go on with life if we can't trust the people around us and I won't blame you if you feel that way. I avoid crowds myself as I do find most of them shallow. However, I get to thinking that maybe they are just doing what makes them happy, so I try to be happy myself, even when I'm just by myself. There are many things that you can do alone. Never feel an outsider when you can't get along with people because they don't matter. What matters is that you are not an outsider in your own world. Be happy and be friends with yourself.

fummymeasle
Posts: 43
Joined: Tue Mar 24, 2020 5:19 am

Re: Hello there! 22 year old girl, low self esteem.

Postby fummymeasle » Thu May 20, 2021 6:05 am

First of all, welcome to the forum. I hope you find this a safe haven. There's not much of a choice but to let go of the past or you will never find peace and happiness. There's a reason why today is called the present because it's a present for us to receive. And the only way to receive it is to free our hands from all the baggage that we still carry.


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