Hi...
Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2020 9:47 pm
So I’ve never been diagnosed with depression, and I don’t know if I have it, nonetheless, I think I’m going through an episode recently. I’ve felt like this two years ago and considered suicide, but this time wasn’t as bad as the last.
However, I’m scared it’ll turn out that way again, so I’m trying ways to help, hence why I’m posting on here... I’m very new to this so I feel a bit shy and awkward to post here...
Anyways, I’m sure Covid has a role in this, but I’m feeling anxious and depressed lately. I can’t sleep with all the intrusive and anxious thoughts going inside my head, and I know why it’s happening. I’ve been feeling insecure due to my friends being extra mean to me since we’re becoming closer, and I do insult them too as that’s what friends do, but they’re really challenging my confidence lately with their comments.
I’ve told one of them about this issue, that I don’t feel comfortable with their insults, that it makes me insecure and depressed, but the worst part is, after promising he’ll be nicer to me, I’m met with empty promises, with him making fun of me as usual and even for me crying, making me feel like I’m dumb for being sad. My other friends think he’s a dick and is borderline bullying me, and one friend even swears on it, but when I bought it up in front of my mean friend, he didn’t stand up for me, and my mean friend even made fun of me, saying the nice friend was only trying to make me less sad as means to make me stop crying, like I was just some disgusting problem they didn’t want to deal with.
I don’t know how to go about this, since the mean friend is one of my closest at the moment, but he’s clearly not good for my mental health. I’ve tried telling him to stop, but only to be met by more mean comments, disregarding my sadness. I’ve tried distancing myself, finding hobbies. I always get better, but comment made by him always cause me to hit rock bottom again.
What should I do?
However, I’m scared it’ll turn out that way again, so I’m trying ways to help, hence why I’m posting on here... I’m very new to this so I feel a bit shy and awkward to post here...
Anyways, I’m sure Covid has a role in this, but I’m feeling anxious and depressed lately. I can’t sleep with all the intrusive and anxious thoughts going inside my head, and I know why it’s happening. I’ve been feeling insecure due to my friends being extra mean to me since we’re becoming closer, and I do insult them too as that’s what friends do, but they’re really challenging my confidence lately with their comments.
I’ve told one of them about this issue, that I don’t feel comfortable with their insults, that it makes me insecure and depressed, but the worst part is, after promising he’ll be nicer to me, I’m met with empty promises, with him making fun of me as usual and even for me crying, making me feel like I’m dumb for being sad. My other friends think he’s a dick and is borderline bullying me, and one friend even swears on it, but when I bought it up in front of my mean friend, he didn’t stand up for me, and my mean friend even made fun of me, saying the nice friend was only trying to make me less sad as means to make me stop crying, like I was just some disgusting problem they didn’t want to deal with.
I don’t know how to go about this, since the mean friend is one of my closest at the moment, but he’s clearly not good for my mental health. I’ve tried telling him to stop, but only to be met by more mean comments, disregarding my sadness. I’ve tried distancing myself, finding hobbies. I always get better, but comment made by him always cause me to hit rock bottom again.
What should I do?