New to the Fourm

[mbp0216]

Hello. I joined the forum because my significant other is battling depression and I need more of an understanding of it. I feel helpless to help him. The plant he worked at for 20 years closed down 18 months ago and he has not worked since. He rarely even looks for a job anymore, and with the recent turn in the economy, he is feeling more hopeless that he will work. It is affecting everyone in my household, and he seems to take out his frustration on all of us. This has not been a happy home in quite a while. Our son suffers from bipolar disorder and RAD, so my SO's depression has seemed to only add fuel to an already raging fire. To tell you the truth, as an optimist, I think I'm depressed also.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

Hi mbp,

There is a chat room connected with this forum, why not give it a try. People are very supportive and understand. You may find it very helpful.

Hang in there and know there are others that do care.

Warmie

[aim]

I'm so sorry you're family situation is in a bad way... But please know, there is light at the end of every tunnel... I had severe depression for a time, but was able to get out of it; now my main issue is anxiety. Stay strong. And please remember...depression is a self-absored illness which means that all you can do is be there to listen and support and suggest that your SO seek professional help. You sound like a very strong person, but you are also human. If you're beginning to feel like you're getting depressed also, I would also suggest that you seek help as well. There is no shame in being depressed - please remember that. And even the strongest people sometimes suffer as well. Keep the faith, friend. And please do join the chat room as Jeanie suggested - great people all dealing with the same/similar things.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

((((((((((((((( mbp )))))))))))))))))) a hug to let you know you are thought of.

Warmie

[mbp0216]

Thank you for welcoming me. My SO found the e-mail welcoming to the forum and asked why I joined. I told him that I needed help to better understand what he was going through. He seemed amused - not sure if that's good or bad. Anyway, I already feel better knowing there are people I can talk to that are going through similar things. Thanks.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

(((((((((((((((((((((( mbp ))))))))))))))))))))

Shows the love and concern you have, a really good thing to see.

Glad you replied and hope you continue to post.

Warmie

[aim]

mbp - I suppose amusement is better than anger, right? Stay strong, ok? And yes...please continue to post here. Have you been taking care of yourself as well as the family? I hope so...

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

(((((((((((((((( mbp ))))))))))))))))

Have you been in the chat room?

[mbp0216]

I was in the chat room, and got some helpful advice about free counseling. But there are too many conversations going on and it was hard to keep up. I think I prefer the forums better.

Thanks for asking about me and my family. I have been trying to keep everything else running as smoothly as possible. We are all affected by this though. My daughter even said that she doesn't like living like this and it never used to be like this. It's really hard on the kids. Thankfully she's active in alot of sports, so her practices and games keep her busy.

[aim]

Hey again mbp!

Glad you gave the chat room a shot, but I can understand that at times it gets crazy busy in there, which sometimes makes it difficult to keep up. Glad they gave you some advice! Just want you to know that due to my career, I could probably help out with that as well. If you're interested, please let me know, ok?

I can understand how your daughter is feeling. It's terrible to watch one of your parents, especially your dad going into a downward spiral...I saw my dad do it too (with alcoholism) when I was a young teenager. It's difficult to understand that your hero has weaknesses as well.

Good to hear that she is in a lot of after school activities. Keeping busy is great for her. I think all you can do as a parent is protect her as much as possible, explain what is going on as best you can, and make sure that she knows that none of this is her fault. BUT - do NOT forget to take care of yourself as well, ok?

[mbp0216]

Thanks, Aim. My daughhter has been through something similiar with her birth father - alcoholism. He's sober now, but she has limited contact - her choice.

But my SO is her step father, and she's not used to him being like this. I'm just thankful that she comes to me to talk about it, instead of keeping it all in. I also have a good support system with my sisters and my older daughters, so I can hash things out with them - but they can be a bit biased. My oldest told me it was time to upgrade.

I love him, but sometimes wonder what I've gotten myself into. I'm on vacation all this week, so I'm going to call about the free counseling and hope that it gets us through this.

[aim]

Hey mbp. Glad to hear that you're being so proactive with your situation. Free counseling is great, and I'm so happy you have a solid support system in place. And yes... our families do tend to be biased, don't they? Also, please understand that it's only natural to begin feeling overwhelmed by your situation. Just remember that depression is a disease, ok? Hopefully, he will realize that he needs help and get it. I think when he begins refusing help, is when you probably have a problem. Is he receptive to getting any help for himself?