Depression Understood Forums

I was going through my emails of an account that I haven't used for a while,or at least I thought. Noticed the message I had last posted was on Jan 9.Knew my memory was bad but didn't think it was that far gone.Until I realized that it was from Jan2008.I had another name but couldn't remember my password so am signing on with a new one,Monty,old one was Annie.
A bit of info about myself.I am a year older than the last email from a year ago, but the rest was eeriely the same.Am now 51,my BipolarII,OCD and PTST were diagnosed relatively late in my life,during my 30s.Finally had to,for me,resort to ECT(primatively referred to as Shock Therapy).Process is not like in the movies of the 50s,very much more refined and humane.Will get into that later.For me I was one of the fortunate on whom it worked.Its been compared to rebooting a computer, can't explain why it works, or why it doesn't.Completely changed my life.As I said last year,people who have known me for over 20 years have said that they had never heard me laugh before.
Looking forward to being a part of this group because I think my greatest need now, is to be listened too.A lot of people in my life have only a certain amount of patience when it comes discussing a chronic disease.

Welcome, again.

really odd that this is the first post I have read on this forum, because I'm thinking seriously of taking the same thing...I read the Carrie Fisher book and she got me very intrigued...I wish you would post more on your experiences...I never really thought that I would want to submit to such measures, but I think I could navigate my health problems A WHOLE LOT BETTER, if I didn't have this dang cloud over my head, know you relate...I do realize that the procedure has much improved, and many people are benefiting from it....course, my anxiety would get me like nobody's business...but I'm very interested in it....I do understand there are some memory problems that some people experience, but at this point, probably wouldn't mind the trade off too much...anyway, am very interested in your experiences in this area...and good to meet you!!!!!

(((((((((((((((((( Monty ))))))))))))))))))

Welcome to depression understood. Come join the forums that is connect with this forum. Lots of people to talk with, get to know, give and get support. Such a caring and safe room.

Warmie

Was sitting this afternoon going through the forums and saw your questions about ECT.

I think that I have posted at one point of my experiences with ECT.

It was known as Shock Therapy and I must admit that I cringed when I saw the movie "The Changeling" with Angelina Jolie. At one point she was threated with ECT and I had to get up and leave the theatre.

Yes, that is how ECT was admisterred many years ago. The process is much more scientific now.

The procedure had been suggested to me earlier in my life, but I had deferred. In the fall of 2007 it got to the point that I had any other choices.

I have a loss of memory for about 3 or 4 months, where there are just a few details of my life that come to mind.

There were some real problems with putting the names to people, could remember the faces, but couldn't give them their proper names.

The memory has improved a lot. I found that reading was the best therapy for me. It used to be that I couldn't read a book, only magazines, because I had trouble following the story-line. I can read a book consecutively now.

From how it was described that I was when I was ill, it is a blessing that I can't remember.

Probably wouldn't be on this planet now, if it wasn't for the ECT

Monty... I'm glad that worked for you. Seems like a very difficult thing to endure and you should be proud of yourself for taking that type of risk to feel better.

Losing your memory must have been quite a struggle, huh? But, if the positives outweigh the negatives, then it seems that it was quite worth it for you. Glad your better now because of it!

Yes, I am fortunate, the positives greatly outweighed the negatives.

I have mentioned before in posts that people who had known me for close to 30 years, said that they had never heard me laugh before. The procedure probably didn't change me as a person, just the parts of me that I was able to show to the rest of the world.

As you can probably tell by my posts, I am very talkative. Until ECT is tended to just sit in the corner, and let life pass me by. I would read the posts on this forum, but even if I had an opinion, I would be afraid to share it with anyone. Now I realize the power of the "delete" button and that everyone doesn't have to always agree with me, but just so long as I am respectful and careful what I post. People can just read my posts, and if they think that I am talking through the top of my hat, they can just go on to the next message.

Since usually ECT is the "last chance" I do feel poorly because I have good friend, that it didn't work for.

When the ECT doesn't work it is a major blow, because, for some people what choices are left?

I can understand that you feel badly for your friend that it did not work for, but please continue to feel good that it worked for you! And as far as last resorts... there have been last resorts for years until the medical world comes up with yet another last resort! That's why I always keep the faith... no matter what.

Good Morning Amy,

I know that I sometimes lose the forest for the trees.

I am "diagnosed" with bipolarII many years ago and have not experienced many of the highs, and its seems to be, way too many of the lows.

My type of depression has seemed to be med resistant. Over the years I can't tell you of how many tens of thousands of dollars I have spent in medication that was discarded, after a few months trial period, because they didn't work.

That was probably why my depression got to the point that the ECT was necessary for me. For me it was the last resort. I just didn't respond to any meds that were available.

I suppose "were available" are the operative words.

It is very true though to note that, they are always making advances. There is hope. Who knows that if maybe a year or two down the road, there will be some med that is available that will help some of us along the way, without having the ECT route the only option.

It is very important to keep in the back of our minds, there is always hope. At times it might seem dim, but there is hope.

I believe in hope. What would be the point if there was no hope? I see so many children every day who have had the most horrible lives. Lives they did not deserve at the hands of the people who are supposed to love and protect them. You know what? We can all learn from these children. They never lose hope. They never stop believing that life will get better for them, and they never stop looking at life and truly hoping and believing that tomorrow will be a brighter day. They are... inspirational. Their innocence makes them beautiful, unique, lovable and hopeful...

Really if you get right down to it, if we don't have hope.

What is the point?

Ever hopeful,
Monty

(((((Monty))))) So glad you have not lost your hope! And you are right; there is no point without hope. I think that is why, when people get so clinically depressed, they feel there is no reason to live. They have lost that hope and it begins to eat away at their souls.

Keep the faith, my friend.

hi monty so glad to have you as a friend xn728

How is your hope doing these days, Ken? Monty? Everyone? I'm still kicking and hoping myself... God, I hope I stay that way!! How do we make it stick? Even during the hardest days?

Hi Aim - (now back to aim since we have a new Amy)

That was some pretty beautiful writing back there on March 25.

Your capacity for compassion is amazing. You sit there 5 days a week, reading a lot of really . . . yes, heavy, (are you old enough to remember that word?) things from a lot of people, in a lot of situations, and you somehow manage to remain so sweet. Simply amazing.

You get a gold star.

A5