New Member Here.. I'm Caitlyn.

[Caitlyn]

Hi all.

I am Caitlyn. I found this particular website about a week ago and I think it is a wonderful source of support for people like me who are battling depression.

I have been in the main chat room a couple of times, and I think it is great, and filled with a wonderful group of people.

As far as my introduction, I am 25 year’s-old and currently a fulltime college student.

I have been seeking help for depression and anxiety (specifically, panic disorder) since I was 13. Also, since the age of 13 I have been on multiple types of medication, however recently I made a pretty big decision to discontinue all of my medication (with my doctor’s supervision, of course).

For as long as I have been on the medications, I have loathed, with every fiber of my being, taking them. I was quite young when I started the regiment and at the time felt like I really did not have a say or choice as to what was going into my own body.

Anyways, that life changing decision I made, of living med-free, took place about a month and a half ago.. So far I’ve had pretty good results to report.

First off, I was on two medications which are known for causing significant weight gain, so the initial thing I was noticed was losing almost 20 pounds right off. I honestly do not see myself as a superficial or vain minded person, but losing that weight, and continuing to, just feels so good – especially when I had never been overweight until I started the medications.

Also, I have had so much energy that I almost don’t know what to do with myself – which is a huge change and generally wonderful!

I do still have some anxiety and depression but it is no worse (and actually seems to be improving) than when I was on the medication.

I am also still seeing a psychiatrist who is monitoring my health and overall wellness while the transformation is taking place, but I will cease those visits quite soon once my health is confirmed to be in check. I will continue my therapy sessions though, for how long, I don’t know, but I can estimate it will be a while still.

So, I feel very good about the fact that I am no longer sacrificing my physical health by taking those medications.

There have been several downsides (more like challenges, than anything else) to going off the medications.. The main thing would be my emotional state.

I would not say that I have been “emotional” or a similarly negatively connotative word, but just more aware of my feelings towards situations.

I feel the reason behind this change is that when I was on the medication, my mind was almost always in a state of pseudo emotional balance, meaning that I never really felt the intensity of the feelings I had, whether it was a positive or negative feeling.

Now, when I see or experience something that makes me feel sad, happy, anxious, scared, etc. it is almost like a shock to my mind, as if this is a new feeling that I had never had to deal with before, at least not at this extreme level.

Like I said, I don’t really see this as a bad thing – it is just part of relearning how to live and experience emotions again.

In summary, I feel like I have been given a chance to start over and I am going to take full advantage of that gift. This is just the beginning!

Thanks for listening..

[Val]

hey
this is my first post in here, welcome, im new here too hehe, im 22 and im posting because i feel familiar with what you're going trough
a big hug and be strong