New @ 3 AM
Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 3:06 am
Hello! This is way new to me, but I'm gonna give this a shot. I am 27 and have recently moved with my husband who got a job after recieving his Phd. We have been married for nearly 5 years. While he was getting his graduate degree, I went back to school also adding a Bachelor's degree to my Associates. We moved back to the small town where I originally went to school, and though one would think that I would be thrilled to be back in a town that I once loved so much, I am miserable. My husband settled for a job that was supposed to be a stepping stone to teaching, and is not happy with were he is and I hear complaints about his job every night when he comes home. I have been unemployed since graduating, no one is hiring in my feild. I have fought so hard for a carreer while supporting my husband's ambitions and it has led me to nothing. I feel like such a failure. I have been a work-a-holic since I have been 16 and rattling around our new house is killing me. I have been so busy supporting my husband going to school that I have not made any friends, and what few I have do not live nearby. My husband wants his time when he gets home and he is entiltled to it, but I am so sick and tired of my only companion being our cat. Following my husband for his new job and not having one of my own has been hard. I feel lonley, lost, failed in my personal ambitions, that I take a back seat constantly and that I have lost all sense of my own identity. I'm just so tired of being sad. I try to look at the bright side and be thankful for what I have, but why does everyone else around me get to have their dreams and not me?