Hello I am in my 50's but new here
Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 12:52 pm
I have days when I really feel like I am getting better. I feel like the medications might actually be the right ones, I get outside and mingle with people, I accomplish things away from home.
Then I get worn out and need to be quiet. I live alone, well except for my man-Jackson the cat. When I am home alone it is hard for me to get focused. I seem to turn to the computer and not do things that either I should be doing or things that I enjoy. I seem to get sad, unable to concentrate, and move from one thing to another.
I am on long term disability and this is the first time I haven't worked in my life, well since the age of 12. Until 5 years ago, I never lived alone. I went from living with my very dysfunctional and alcoholic mother- now deceased, to a marriage when I was way too young. I left him after I stopped self medicating and became sober 6 years ago.
I guess I have always been goal oriented (yet nothing I ever did was good enough in my mind) and now I have no goals except to get better. That is a huge goal and I have professional help and some face to face friends that do understand depression. Yet I can't seem to get it together to do the tasks that I really need to attend to so I could enjoy my hobbies. I have never asked for help with this because I don't know what to ask. I KNOW what I should do- but I can't seem to keep on task or at times to take that first step to tackle something- forms, a room, even the dishes.
I realize that this is a bit jumbled, and also that perhaps no one can relate to what I am saying. I did think I would give it a try.
Perhaps if you relate to this we could even email privately? At any rate, thank you for reading.
beachwoman aka Jane
Then I get worn out and need to be quiet. I live alone, well except for my man-Jackson the cat. When I am home alone it is hard for me to get focused. I seem to turn to the computer and not do things that either I should be doing or things that I enjoy. I seem to get sad, unable to concentrate, and move from one thing to another.
I am on long term disability and this is the first time I haven't worked in my life, well since the age of 12. Until 5 years ago, I never lived alone. I went from living with my very dysfunctional and alcoholic mother- now deceased, to a marriage when I was way too young. I left him after I stopped self medicating and became sober 6 years ago.
I guess I have always been goal oriented (yet nothing I ever did was good enough in my mind) and now I have no goals except to get better. That is a huge goal and I have professional help and some face to face friends that do understand depression. Yet I can't seem to get it together to do the tasks that I really need to attend to so I could enjoy my hobbies. I have never asked for help with this because I don't know what to ask. I KNOW what I should do- but I can't seem to keep on task or at times to take that first step to tackle something- forms, a room, even the dishes.
I realize that this is a bit jumbled, and also that perhaps no one can relate to what I am saying. I did think I would give it a try.
Perhaps if you relate to this we could even email privately? At any rate, thank you for reading.
beachwoman aka Jane
Truthfully, I can relate to most of what you said. I used to be on med's for depression and anxiety, but not for over 10 years now. I have my good periods of time still where I get things done, meet people, even make new friends. I used to live alone, till Sandy Claws forced me to adopt her. I worked since I can remember cuase my younger years were spent on a farms and ranches in Texas and worked my way through college so I think I've always worked but I retired several years ago because I'm just to mentally ill to work anymore. I have no goals anymore except to live a simple, peaceful, tranquil life here in my adopted country.
