Depression Understood Forums

I have had a hard time making myself finally join this forum. One of the big problems I've had for years is making myself start things. I don't know why it is so hard. I've been meaning to join since new year's. I am unemployed, and have gone off my medication since Nov. and it is not good. I cannot afford to see a doctor to renew my prescription until I have an income, and I am scared I won't be able to get, or hold, a job until I am medicated.

Those kind of looping thoughts gnaw at me constantly unless I distract myself, but when I'm distracting myself I'm not looking for a job. I've given up convincing myself I'm not useless. I just try not to linger on it. Try not to feel bad for attempting to deceive someone into hiring me.

I have a boyfriend and he is unhappy with his job, and we are both very tight on funds, and the stress is getting to both of us. He deals with stress with anger, but I get sad, and this is another point of stress. But I desperately want to make this work, I love him. I moved far from my home to be with him, so I have no one nearby to spend time with, no friends or family, little reason to leave the apartment.

I somehow hoped that joining this forum might help me in some way. If only to give me a safe place to vent. Thank you whomever reads this, I appreciate your time.

Hi Glowkapogoda,

What a great name!

Yes, venting here is really helpful.

Another thing that helps me is to discover advice people have given on other threads that I think is good.

I have trouble getting things started, and even worse I have trouble finishing what I have started. I think venting is a great way to start. You can write about what and why you have done the things that you have done, and what and why you want the things you want.

But ultimately, the actions are ours. And that's when I think the real value of this forum comes through. You can look at the posts you have made, and start to think about different paths. You can ask questions to get different points of view.

Welcome!