Depression Understood Forums

Hi all
I have recently been diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety and stress. This has really hit me hard considering all my life I have felt in control and now I can't even function with some of the basics in life. My wife has also found this tough as she is never quite sure how to approach me with this and as much as she is strong I can feel her pain. It doesn't help her either that in 5 weeks we are expecting our second child..the strain it must apply on her! I love her so much but I at times just feel numb!

I'm currently taking meds and seeing professional help this is only in its early stages and I haven't felt any improvement as yet.

One of my other issues is how I tackle work. I'm in a senior role with high expectations and the demand is great. In the last two weeks I have taken time off but tomorrow I return with incredible anxiety. All I want to do is continue to run and not face work. I keep looking for excuses, I just want someone to say don't go in, but I know one day I need to face it, but just not tomorrow!

I would love know how others have faced work and supporting their partner through early stages of depression.

Glad to be part of the forum, even writing helps.

Hello Viders,

When did you start to feel that you was losing control? Did anything specific happen? Sometimes it can be a build up of issues collected over the years and now that the pressure is so high the banks have burst and you just don't know what has hit you. This puts you in a vulnerable position and it really throws you off track but I'd say 'don't panic' it isn't anything you can't fix if you wanted to. Try to stay calm, let the dust settle then figure out what is going on. There is a decision you need to make and that is if you want to go back to the way you were or do you want to start living differently? See this as an opportunity to change for the better, something obviously went wrong so now is the time to make it right or take a different path. Don't feel defeated, we won't win every single battle but what it is important is that you always get back up after a lost.

Life isn't all about work and paying bills, you have achieved a lot and have gotten far but not without a cost. Do you still want to work there or do you feel that you don't have much of a choice because you have mouths to feed? People have this idea that they have to go up and up but they hardly turn to something less demanding for less pay. I guess to some people going from a high salary to a lower one is going backwards, but with the high pressure and stress that higher salaries bring, is it really worth it? How long will you be able to cope for?

Having a family has its added pressures as well which you can't seem to take a break from. You mentioned that you have a second child on the way, I know people will expect new parents to be filled with joy but some do dread all the others things that people do not see. Luckily you have a strong wife, you may feel guilty that all the pressures are on her at the moment, but marriage is a two way street, I'm sure you would do the same for her if the tables were turned. You have a lot on your plate right and a family to support but you need to focus and fix yourself up first before trying to support others. You're not only doing this for yourself, you're doing this for your family too so use them as your incentive to get better.

It is great that you are seeking professional help, it will take time before you see any improvements. Definitely give yourself some "me" time to do the things to like, to de-stress. People often neglect themselves when they start working or start a family but try to add this element back in your life as it's not all about making your bosses happy, your wife and kids happy, you need to make yourself happy too. Don't feel guilty for focusing on yourself for a while, because if we don't take care of ourselves, who will??

I hope you find success in building your life back together x

Ditto. Great advice!

Oh, leris? I sent you another pm, but it never went through. Ugh.

Hello 4EverMe, no I didn't get your message >_< I'll try send you new one now to see if it works..