Depression Understood Forums

Hey all,
I am actually not clinically depressed - so I hope I'm not intruding. But my husband is, and I am kind of hoping to get some insight into what he's thinking and how best to deal with his problems. He's been like this ever since he returned from Iraq three years ago. I personally think it's related to PTSD, but the military doctors won't even respond to my questions about that, much less consider it as a possibility. They throw antidepressants down his throat and talk to him 15 minutes or so once a month, and think that will be enough. The antidepressants help, but I don't think drugs can completely solve such a complex problem. I guess my concern is that he still seems kind of detached - like he's not interested in anything. He doesn't have the blind rage anymore since he started the antidepressants (that was a problem for a while, and almost ended our marriage) but still seems like there's nothing in the world that will make him happy, and like he is totally indifferent to everything, including me and the kids. Problem is, I know he's sick and I should try to help him, but I don't know how. The stupid military doctors won't tell me anything about how to help, and my husband seems like he's incapable of communicating with me most of the time. It gets frustrating, and I lose sight of the "helping" aspect and just start getting ticked off sometimes. I'm sure that only makes things worse. But like I said, I don't know what else to do. Anyway, like I said, if anyone feels like I'm intruding or invading their privacy by being here, then please let me know. I just thought this may be the best way to try and see things from his perspective and find out things that may have helped others who have been in his position.
Thanks!

Thanks for the good luck in my thread! Im sure no one will feel that you are intruding. Its great that you are there for your husband. I understand what he feels. Its no where near Iraq but I lost a turtle when I was young, he was my best friend, and that was when I began to think differently. I lived my life indifferently for a long time. Nothing mattered and I had nothing to hold on to. I can also relate to medicine not solving everything. I know depression is partly chemical and the medicine takes an edge off. For instance it keeps us calm and prevents manic suicidal thoughts. But it cant always change the way we think. I think therapy helps with that. Talking could help your husband reconnect with the feelings he had before the war, like his love for you and your kids. A therapist could help him realize that he has something to hold on to.

It can be hard, if not impossible to understand what depression feels like without experiencing it constantly. I hope the replies you get will help you understand your husbands problem and find ways to help.

hi and welcome not giving up.
Apart from the importance of professional and correct therapy for your husband,its also important that you are also getting support.Its not easy living with someone who is very deppresed.
Is it possible that you can get into a support group?
You being here is a good start
Stay in touch and take care

(((((((((((((((( not giving up )))))))))))))))))))))

Just wanted to say, bless your husband and you. I know some that are going through what he is. It isn't easy for we don't know the hell they lived through.

For you, please feel free to type here, get some of the things that are rushing through your mind, depression included. We do give all the support we can. May not have the answers but sure have lots of love to give.

Warmie