(Im new)i need someone to talk too=(
Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 10:17 am
well for the most i've always had my head up high. but lately that has changed and now i feel lower than anyones ever been.i've been with a girl for about 1yr 1/2 now. n i've always had problems but not like i do now though...i feel like crying all the time. shes very opened minded and i've never had a problem with that until now. i have so much on my mind i've tried suicide several times but havent been successful. i have a hard time sleeping i can go for about 48 hrs n not be able to sleep. my main problem is i guess i got use to her being there supporting me. i would do the same for her but i guess she's tired of it...she can say the most horrible things to me, but dont realize it, and when she does its too late... i cant get or keep a job cuz this is just too much for me i dont think i am able to handle more of this. i love her with all my heart and i know she does too. theres just something between us and i hate it cuz i want some1 to cheer me up i need some1 to cheer me up, some1 that can make me feel wanted, loved. i have my family, but to them i've never had a problem or anything to worry about and its hard to talk to them i dont need medication and knowing them thats the first thing they want me on well anyways. i want to keep her happy as she use to keep me. if i leave her n let go i know i things for me will get worse. its happened before. i've made bad decisions with her that has made her feel horrible but i've done everything i can to make it up to her. n now its like i have to go to hell n back for her to be satisfied. i've just graduated, and started college, i got my first job n wasnt able to keep it. i get major migrains or headaches..... n me n her are always argueing. im 19 and im in debt already. i just wish i could tell her everything im telling you guys. but im afraid she doesnt want to here it. i cant let go. i want to just quit on everything i cant think i cant sleep i lost my appitite. im always at home, im losing hope on myself. i have friends but i've always been the person that never shows he has a problem or worries. so i cant talk to them. i need some1 to understand me. i hate this really. i wish i could sleep. i wish i could smile. i hate crying. and lately its all i've been doing!!!!What kills me is me thinking she doesnt care anymore, and that i cant run to anyone n just let it out to some one. i feel trapped!!i want to let it out so bad i need some1 to talk to....
