Any Advice?

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doctorpc
Posts: 9
Joined: Sat Sep 07, 2013 7:47 pm

Any Advice?

Postby doctorpc » Sat Sep 07, 2013 7:54 pm

I'm not what you might consider suicidal, not yet at least but, I'm beginning to wonder what's the point.

by the numbers,

unemployed, unmarried, no friends, no family.
Can't find work, and when I try to reach out to women as a possible future friend they run, etc.

I really have to wonder what's the point. I'm currently collecting unemployment benefits, but when those run out in December I'm in a world of hurt.

I'm getting "my affairs in order" and even researching ways to die painlessly.

fallen
Posts: 264
Joined: Sat Mar 16, 2013 1:04 am

Postby fallen » Sun Sep 08, 2013 1:41 am

at any point in our lives we can change, where we live , what we do for a living. we can go from being a corporate lawyer to working in a soup kitcken, living in a crowded estate in the suburbs to living in a tent in the middle of the country side.
you can do so much without money, without the constraints of society, all is possible. we think we are trapped by our surroundings. but in essence we are trapped by our minds. we have closed the door on our own future, and we have put the key in our pocket and we are unwilling to put our hand into our subconscious and pull it out and unlock the door.
you have trapped your self,but as easily as you trapped your self ,you can also free your self.
within you is the capability to do anything ,paint a picture ,write poetry, create a novel, climb a mountain, we have only to imagine and strive forward. if we do this all the things that you miss will appear beside you, you just have to imagine , i believe in you
take care.

doctorpc
Posts: 9
Joined: Sat Sep 07, 2013 7:47 pm

Postby doctorpc » Sun Sep 08, 2013 2:34 am

Very poetic, but I fail to see the connection. It's obvious that you put some time and thought into your post, so on that note thanks for the effort.
I'm guessing you've never had to live alone for any long period of time and don't have any employment issues. I've just spent the last three years earning a degree in Information Technology that's worthless when it comes to getting job offers. At least the gov. covered most of the cost, but it's still frustrating on the amount of time and effort and for nothing. :(

You are correct in that at any point one can change what they do, In my case I'm facing the possibility going from a $45/hr job to one that might pay $15. I'm sure all my creditors will understand why I won't be able to pay their bills in a few months. All the things you say one can do if fine for a hobby, but at the end of the month it's still just a hobby.

Frame
Moderator
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Joined: Mon Jun 17, 2013 11:25 am
Location: Pennsylvania

Postby Frame » Sun Sep 08, 2013 9:39 am

Your right, doc, about the hobby. If it doesn't pay the bills then it doesn't pay the bills. And the world will do it's very best to convince you your bills must be paid (while the law makers and the rich write their own rules) But a hobby can help us see new options, better than focusing obsessively on our problems. Our expectations are not our reality; never will be. The world is altering our reality at an ever dizzying pace. Most peoples expectations are not keeping up with the change.

But fallen is right that there are a constellation of possibilities out there. You can focus on just two (getting what you want or calling it quits), or you can entertain a few others that may allow greater happiness than either of those two. And doing things like hobbies, that bring some joy, can reveal some of those possibilities.
Winston Churchill was a pig headed war-mongering fight-loving Statesman who believed in negotiating as far as you could lob a bomb even though he practiced his speeches (every noun, verb, period and pause) for about an hour per sentence.

He was also a chronic depressive painter (hmm, I wonder what Van Gogh might have done as Prime Minister) who was out of sync with his time so they ignored him. Then he was in perfect sync with his time so they made him Admiral and Prime Minister. Then he was out of sync again and they left him behind.

He struggled with all of this and in the process helped win back the free world from eminent darkness.

I like his remark; “ Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.”

4EverMe
Posts: 927
Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2013 4:50 am
Location: Washington State

Postby 4EverMe » Sun Sep 08, 2013 4:53 pm

Hi doc
I know all too well what it's like to be alone; However, I also know that being lonely at times is my own fault. Are you a person who chooses isolation over socialization? I ask because this is one of MY issues. If I got out more, I'd have more friends...It is a desire. Now, here I am packing up my apt without the help of companions. Hmm. Frustrating.
As yourself, I was looking online for quick and painless ways of checking out. This is how I wound up stumbling upon this site less than two months ago. Weeks prior, my few attempts with pills were unsuccessful. Please stick around a while and continue to post and to read the stories of others. You can make this a hobby? :-) You never know, as there may be a reason you found us. I do believe this to be true, in my case...
I reiterate; You just never know.
I can't relate, as it concerns unemployment, because I'm disabled. Back problems and mental issues. At any rate, atleast you're not packing up a 2 bdrm apt by yourself. LOL!!
PLS keep us posted. Pun intended. ;-)
When life throws UA lemon, throw the dang thing back.

kittycatlover
Posts: 27
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 11:48 pm
Location: Texas

Postby kittycatlover » Sun Sep 08, 2013 4:54 pm

I work in IT. What area is your degree in? IT is very active where I live, which is in Houston, TX. Things were rough here in 2008 and 2009. But since 2009, we have been on an upswing due to the booming oil and gas industry.

And if all else fails, and you are only making 15 dollars an hour, and can't pay your bills, you can file for bankruptcy. That's what I had to do in 2009, when I went from making $45 to $15, exactly what you are talking about.

Then, fortunately, later things picked up here and I got called back to work.

kittycatlover
Posts: 27
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 11:48 pm
Location: Texas

Postby kittycatlover » Sun Sep 08, 2013 4:55 pm

I haven't seen my biological family in years. I also am alone. So you are not alone in being alone.

kittycatlover
Posts: 27
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 11:48 pm
Location: Texas

Postby kittycatlover » Sun Sep 08, 2013 4:57 pm

Oh, and for the year I was off work in IT, my "hobby" paid my bills -- I have a massage therapy license. I made $15 an hour plus tips, til I was blessed to return to work.

doctorpc
Posts: 9
Joined: Sat Sep 07, 2013 7:47 pm

Cannabis for treating mild case depression question

Postby doctorpc » Wed Sep 11, 2013 3:17 am

Just wondering how this forum stands on using pot for treating mild case depression?

I've done some google research and find it split 50-50.

Being in Wa state, we'll be able to buy pot relatively soon.

doctorpc
Posts: 9
Joined: Sat Sep 07, 2013 7:47 pm

Postby doctorpc » Wed Sep 11, 2013 3:23 am

4EverMe wrote:Hi doc
I know all too well what it's like to be alone; However, I also know that being lonely at times is my own fault. Are you a person who chooses isolation over socialization? I ask because this is one of MY issues. If I got out more, I'd have more friends...It is a desire. Now, here I am packing up my apt without the help of companions. Hmm. Frustrating.
As yourself, I was looking online for quick and painless ways of checking out. This is how I wound up stumbling upon this site less than two months ago. Weeks prior, my few attempts with pills were unsuccessful. Please stick around a while and continue to post and to read the stories of others. You can make this a hobby? :-) You never know, as there may be a reason you found us. I do believe this to be true, in my case...
I reiterate; You just never know.
I can't relate, as it concerns unemployment, because I'm disabled. Back problems and mental issues. At any rate, atleast you're not packing up a 2 bdrm apt by yourself. LOL!!
PLS keep us posted. Pun intended. ;-)


When I can afford to go out, (very rare these days) it just makes me more depressed, it's so awkward to go to a restaurant and eat by one's self. Going to a bar is the same, I'm self conscious and far too shy to really "introduce" myself to the opp. sex. And usually the ones I find attractive think I'm too old to bother to talk to anyway.

doctorpc
Posts: 9
Joined: Sat Sep 07, 2013 7:47 pm

Postby doctorpc » Wed Sep 11, 2013 3:34 am

kittycatlover wrote:Oh, and for the year I was off work in IT, my "hobby" paid my bills -- I have a massage therapy license. I made $15 an hour plus tips, til I was blessed to return to work.



lucky you, currently the market is supposed to be hot,. but only for those who are young, energetic, have a broad understanding of many technologies and are good at selling themselves. I just completed an IT degree program so I'm getting some interest, but in reality I know less today than I did 3 years ago due to lack of solid work placement.
The old use it or loose it, syndrome. The degree program focused on Bus. Intel for Sql Server but I quickly found out no one is hiring junior Bi people, every one is looking for Sr. level with 5 years. I have over 20 yr in IT and recent experience in C# and transactional database systems, but today every one wants web page development ASP.net + C# with MVC, WCF, WPF, nUnit, WTT, etc. My skills are mainly nTier or client server database and desktop applications design and development.

I'm even stooping low and applying for assembly, csr, and tech support type positions, thinking that 1/2 a paycheck will soon be better than no paycheck...

TurtleRock
Posts: 28
Joined: Thu Sep 05, 2013 3:04 am
Location: Canada

Postby TurtleRock » Wed Sep 11, 2013 3:38 am

If finances are an issue, Volunteering is supposed to be a good way to get out there and meet new people it also has the added advantage that there's usually an activity or objective to focus on so you don't feel that you have to carry any conversations yourself. I suspect it would be a good way to get some exercise and get comfortable with yourself maybe come out of your shell if shyness is an issue.

Volunteering is something I've done a handful of times myself, It was an overall good experience that helped me feel a little more secure around groups.

doctorpc
Posts: 9
Joined: Sat Sep 07, 2013 7:47 pm

Postby doctorpc » Wed Sep 11, 2013 3:39 am

kittycatlover wrote:I work in IT. What area is your degree in? IT is very active where I live, which is in Houston, TX. Things were rough here in 2008 and 2009. But since 2009, we have been on an upswing due to the booming oil and gas industry.

And if all else fails, and you are only making 15 dollars an hour, and can't pay your bills, you can file for bankruptcy. That's what I had to do in 2009, when I went from making $45 to $15, exactly what you are talking about.

Then, fortunately, later things picked up here and I got called back to work.


I can't even afford to file for Bkrpcy even if I wanted to plus I'd have to close out my meager 401K retirement account. ANd I think they might take a look at some of the vehicles in the fleet. So easy to buy a car/truck/rc/motorcycle, but so hard to sell, espc when they don't run...

I figure I'll need a min of 20/hr to survive just to pay the rent/food/utilities, and will be forced to default on many Credit card accounts.
I can only imagine what happens after several months of no payments to those accounts.

doctorpc
Posts: 9
Joined: Sat Sep 07, 2013 7:47 pm

Postby doctorpc » Wed Sep 11, 2013 3:43 am

TurtleRock wrote:If finances are an issue, Volunteering is supposed to be a good way to get out there and meet new people it also has the added advantage that there's usually an activity or objective to focus on so you don't feel that you have to carry any conversations yourself. I suspect it would be a good way to get some exercise and get comfortable with yourself maybe come out of your shell if shyness is an issue.

Volunteering is something I've done a handful of times myself, It was an overall good experience that helped me feel a little more secure around groups.


Finances aren't an issue yet on my training program, I barely pay the bills while I'm attending college full time. But it's a rough path to be on, you really don't have much free time with all the class assignments.

Where does one actually volunteer ?

doctorpc
Posts: 9
Joined: Sat Sep 07, 2013 7:47 pm

Postby doctorpc » Wed Sep 11, 2013 3:46 am

4EverMe wrote:Hi doc
I know all too well what it's like to be alone; However, I also know that being lonely at times is my own fault. Are you a person who chooses isolation over socialization? I ask because this is one of MY issues. If I got out more, I'd have more friends...It is a desire. Now, here I am packing up my apt without the help of companions. Hmm. Frustrating.
As yourself, I was looking online for quick and painless ways of checking out. This is how I wound up stumbling upon this site less than two months ago. Weeks prior, my few attempts with pills were unsuccessful. Please stick around a while and continue to post and to read the stories of others. You can make this a hobby? :-) You never know, as there may be a reason you found us. I do believe this to be true, in my case...
I reiterate; You just never know.
I can't relate, as it concerns unemployment, because I'm disabled. Back problems and mental issues. At any rate, atleast you're not packing up a 2 bdrm apt by yourself. LOL!!
PLS keep us posted. Pun intended. ;-)


So did you qualify for a disability? I screwed up my back a month ago so now I can't do a lot of things I used to be able to do, with out the fear of having a back spasm and falling top my knees in pain.

How does one qualify for disability?


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