A Clairvoyant with Depression/Panic Disorder

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4EverMe
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A Clairvoyant with Depression/Panic Disorder

Postby 4EverMe » Mon Jul 08, 2013 5:15 am

Hello all,
You might have read my topic: Hurt. Angry. Feel Alone. Well, that is but a tip of the iceberg!...I feel like I'm gonna explode if I don't talk about this. I also understand this may be foreign to some! Just hope it doesn't cast me in a negative light. 'Clairvoyance' is sort of used as an umbrella term, to also encompass clairaudience, clairsentience. I'll use this one-worded TITLE that I also prefer over 'psychic!'
Clairvoyance--to see, feel, or hear (usually 2 or more of these) what is not usually perceived by others; It is extremely stressful! There are also times, when I go unphased. I don't know what to do with it. It does not help my Panic Disorder, Depression, PTSD, Social Anxiety. Unless a friend is near my side, I often don't leave my apt. Crazy! I'm NOW wondering if this ability is partially to blame for my mental state; It's certainly conceivable! It is not only mentally & emotionally taxing.There is also the added burden of not knowing how to deal w/this due to spiritual beliefs.
Last edited by 4EverMe on Mon Jul 15, 2013 5:14 pm, edited 2 times in total.

4EverMe
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Location: Washington State

Postby 4EverMe » Mon Jul 08, 2013 6:05 am

It all started when I was a child and progressed for a number of years. From childhood until somewhere in my 20's, had VERY strong intuitions regarding people, places and situations. There were times when dreams I'd had came true.There have been moments when I somehow 'KNOW' things, only to later be proven correct. (whatever that's called) It's even freaked ME out!! Though I've always been aware that I'm 'different,' experiences I have will surprise me.

Around my mid 30's, I SLOWLY began to hear 'voices.' This added onto the abilities I already had! It seems that when something new develops w/ me, it is 'introduced' slowly. I was SO afraid! Convinced myself I was "hearing voices" and could "get on meds to stop it!" (though I knew better) So, I heard them, & later began to unwittingly, mentally communicate with them. When I denied they were truly there, I would see something move. My bed would be bumped with me in it. (experienced MANY things) Both good and evil. I still deal with this and I just turned 41.
Last edited by 4EverMe on Mon Jul 15, 2013 5:35 pm, edited 2 times in total.

4EverMe
Posts: 927
Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2013 4:50 am
Location: Washington State

Postby 4EverMe » Mon Jul 08, 2013 6:41 am

When, I guess, I showed signs that I'd heard them, more and more came. I sensed that 'they' were curious. Some interested. Some plain a** mean and tormenting me!! I'd lay down to take a nap and my bed would be bumped so that I couldn't sleep.The numbers just grew! It was growing more INTENSE in my late 30's. Some wouldn't leave me alone. There were even times I could hear them talk between/amongst themselves about me. Sometimes, I'd hear them arguing about me. One was obsessed with me while another male voice was like a protector. I could go on forever...Please just ask me!!

It was during this time, I'd feel something touch my head, knee, shouler or back. Something happened on a few different nights. I was being tormented each night by 'bully' spirits. Well, on a number of nights, it got SO bad that I went into my living rm to sit on the couch. In tears. On those worst of nights, I heard a male voice quote a Bible verse I didn't recognize.Thats ALL he would say. I wept bcuz they each fit my situation!!

4EverMe
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Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2013 4:50 am
Location: Washington State

Postby 4EverMe » Mon Jul 08, 2013 7:24 am

Forced out of my apt because the city leveled the neighborhood for rebuilding, I moved into my current place. I've lived here 4 years now. I'm in the process of writing this and Now moving out of THiS place! Lol. Life is weird. So, back to my situation...

Those bullying spirits (voices) slowly departed. I learned to get ANGRY! All fear disintigrated into a sort of vapid disinterest. Occassionally, some come back--only to leave with tails tucked under a**. None can get to me anymore. I'm fed up with being fed up. There is one in particular that has been testing me for about a year now. Always harrassing me--only to become perturbed by my indifference. When it makes occassional loud taps on my furniture or decor, I do my best to mentally dismiss it.

I'm not alone and I realize this most when I go to bed. In the last 5 years, I've begun to see shadows. I have a tiny lamp I keep on, on my nightstand. When I close my eyes the light is on my eye lids. But so are passing shadows .

nenkohai
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Postby nenkohai » Mon Jul 08, 2013 9:35 am

4EM,

Please check your PM/email box here on the site. Left you a message.

Kindest,

nenkohai

4EverMe
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Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2013 4:50 am
Location: Washington State

Postby 4EverMe » Tue Jul 09, 2013 10:25 am

Thankyou Nenkohai,
You've been very kind.

I just want to add to my page here that it hasn't all been negative. There have been nights when stressed or unsure, when I received encouraging/comforting words as I laid down to sleep. I definately felt the pesence of good. This morning, I woke up hearing the words, "Excuse me." being repeated incessantly. Didn't know what to do about it so I just got up.

If there's anyone else who would respond, it could be very helpful! This has been very...(well, I wrote of the stress)! The ONLY reason I posted this is so that I don't feel so alone with this--with something that's been battering my mental health. Also, feel free to ask questions! I will answer them. Maybe it will help me unravel something...

Blaine
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Postby Blaine » Thu Jul 11, 2013 11:21 am

Sorry this is a silly little question really, was just wondering if you'd miss them when they're gone? I'm only asking because I watched a program about a girl going through something similar and she mentioned that the nice ones were her best friends, and that she actually liked having them around.

Frame
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Can you choose your...

Postby Frame » Thu Jul 11, 2013 11:56 am

That's a fascinating question Blaine. The adage goes; "You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family." I things are demons exist in a grey zone in between. Call them what you want, demons, pathologies, voices, friends, superpowers, I think they are neutral in that they can help us cope, give us strength, or hold us back depending on the situation.

I wonder sometimes whether they choose us. Being science oriented, I tend to think they are adaptation of our personality to our environment. As such I've noticed they can become dear friends; very difficult to leave behind if and when our environment changes.

I wish I could say they are tools in our personality we can rely on, that we can take out and use, put away when we're done; but that we control them, they don't control us. Sometimes I'm not so sure.

Blaine
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Re: Can you choose your...

Postby Blaine » Thu Jul 11, 2013 12:19 pm

Frame wrote:That's a fascinating question Blaine. The adage goes; "You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family." I things are demons exist in a grey zone in between. Call them what you want, demons, pathologies, voices, friends, superpowers, I think they are neutral in that they can help us cope, give us strength, or hold us back depending on the situation.

I wonder sometimes whether they choose us. Being science oriented, I tend to think they are adaptation of our personality to our environment. As such I've noticed they can become dear friends; very difficult to leave behind if and when our environment changes.

I wish I could say they are tools in our personality we can rely on, that we can take out and use, put away when we're done; but that we control them, they don't control us. Sometimes I'm not so sure.


It might sound a little insensitive but the whole idea of it really fascinates me! The person in the program was fully aware that the things weren't actually there, but she would listen and do what they told her to. I guess it is just harder for me to understand because I haven't experienced it myself!

Frame
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Perception

Postby Frame » Thu Jul 11, 2013 1:13 pm

I've been studying semiotics and visual perception over the last year. There is a wealth of scientific data about how sensory data is constructed into meaningful perception. It's complex and there are many levels of cognitive meaning in various stages of refinement; levels of cognition which exist below the threshold of consciousness and multiple levels which reach beyond the level of consciousness (can be stored as memories).

So there are always, at any time in any person, multiple stages of understanding of our present sensory data; almost like multiple view points depending on which level of cognition a personality accesses. The most basic are like a stream of sensory data which can be dipped into but can't be saved unless processed further. At the summit there are abstract concepts (sort of like rules) formally devoid of sensory data and lodged in our consciousness. And all kinds of stuff in between.

Leaves plenty of room for things to go haywire hey?

4EverMe
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Postby 4EverMe » Thu Jul 11, 2013 2:11 pm

Hi Frame,
Thankyou for your lengthy response. I considered what you said, but it doesn't explain the physical phenomena I've experienced, that few others have also witnessed.
For example, when an ex of mine were sitting in our living room eating dinner, I placed my bowl on the coffee table because I was no longer hungry. Within a few minutes, the end of my fork raised up about 3 inches on its own and fell back down onto the rim of the bowl! This was witnessed by both my ex and myself. We just looked at eachother stunned! This is just ONE of many things experienced aside from the voices. What do you make of that??

jj
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Postby jj » Thu Jul 11, 2013 2:54 pm

Just wanted to say I've read this, I can't really imagine what that's like. So did you go on any medications in the end? Did they help? Have any doctors suggested what it might be?

jj:)

Frame
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Postby Frame » Thu Jul 11, 2013 3:03 pm

Yes, I've had things like that happen. It's not the same, in my opinion, as voices, premonitions, clairvoyance, internal phenomena such as that. In my experience, physical phenomena outside the realm of what Newton envisioned is something happening all the time based on higher order energy transfer. There is much evidence for it on the subatomic level. It is less often observed on the scale of human dimension (again in my opinion) because it requires the coordination of energy fields on a much larger scale.

I've have worked in the field of material composites at a number of facilities and the designed coordination of fields like these is more and more prevalent. There used in most technologies at low energy levels but many technologies at high energy levels.

I see no reason why humans and or the environment around them can't coordinate these fields without the aid of technology. It's just a bit more hit or miss.

4EverMe
Posts: 927
Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2013 4:50 am
Location: Washington State

Postby 4EverMe » Thu Jul 11, 2013 4:12 pm

Hey Frame,
Thanks for your response. I do agree with you in that there are varying degress of energy fields. I just wish I didn't pick up on the higher ones as often as I do! I just recalled a saying by a psychic named Lorraine Warren. She stated that spirits are drawn to psychics like moths are drawn to a flame. So, I presume that maybe these beings know I'm extra intuitive, when they notice me observing their presence. I don't know. But it's terrible on my anxiety. Picking up on other peoples emotions when I've been in a room full of people is also overwhelming. My anxiety just sky rockets! OH! Gotta get ready for appt !!

4EverMe
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Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2013 4:50 am
Location: Washington State

Postby 4EverMe » Thu Jul 11, 2013 6:26 pm

Hey there jj!
Thankyou for reading about my strange 'issue'! No, a doctor wouldn't know what to say, because of the physical phenomena. For example, at my last address, I woke up with the back of my upper arm feeling bruised. I recall thinking that it felt like it does when pinched. I am NOT kidding when I tell you this; When I examined that area of my arm, there were crescent shaped marks the size of a fingernail on the back of my arm. There was another time, I stopped dead in my tracks because of three loud knocks on my coffee table. I just stood there stunned and then saw broken glass right infront of me! The knocks stopped me from walking on the broken glass!! It was a glass I was soon to clean up. I could've walked on it and cut my feet badly on the jagged pieces! Wow. Never will forget that. Anyway, I DO need to get on meds for my depression..What's happening though has nothing to do with that--It's just adding stress/anxiety to that which I currently have!

But thankyou for caring jj. :) Feel alone!


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