HURT. ANGRY. FEEL ALONE

[4EverMe]

Hey there, Frame!
I just read ur response HOURS later--and just so happened to be poppin a peanut M&M. Normally, I don't eat much junk food, so the timing was nuts. Cracked me up! Puns intended. Oh no! (M&M's) Mormon Missionaries. I'M GONNA STOP NOW! Could fill the page. Hmmm...so, lemme think here...OK.

I don't even know where to start. I've found out some stuff lately that did 2 things: 1) Made me laugh! 2) Made me think that if my neighbor truly is obsessed w/me in ANOTHER type of way, that this may be even worse than I thought!! So, I mentioned before that she must have some kind of 'obsession.' But it was only 2-3 days ago, that I found out some of her history. I'm even angrier to think she may have/had the hots for me! This would also explain why she always gives angry looks to any female friends I've had over! (yep) She may be Bi.I prefer nutshaha! Of course I HAD to throw THAT pun in the mix!
My lawyer, cause he's pro bono, isn't going to take on the realtors-- Just the case at hand. Will pm U.

[saragupta]

Hi again,
You have almost one month left for ur next hearing in court ie on 19th September if i am not wrong. This period is both crucial and golden as well. Golden period because u ve one month to gather evidences and other stuff which wud vote against Sara and in ur favour at the same time.
Speaking of evidences, I wud lyk to Salute Pipule. No really. I mean his or her 's ideas are PERFECT. 4everme, u shld really take it seriously and shld start digging Sara s history and her working place immediately. But for this u will have to visit so many places. So i don't know if it ll be Ryt or wrong but i guess u shld not reveal ur real name and identity to people related to her. Because she has been trying to spread (lies)bad things about u since very long. So at first shot people myt not show interest in listening u if u tell them ur real name. That's what i think. Rest u know better.

I have a few more ideas. I don't think they are much significant but May be u find them useful.
1)
I think u shld fix some cctv-type of cameras. To record everything. The locations of all the cameras shld be such that u cud prove urself innocent in case Sara again tries to accuse u for something u haven't done.

a) first camera shld face the main entrance, which wud record all the visitors who come to meet Sara.
b) second camera shld be facing urs and Sara 's main doors and porch. In case u are out in the porch wen some one comes to meet (like some of those annoying women from neighbourhood u were talkin about) Sara, at that time if they try to interact with u or try to provoke u and behave badly, then it will be recorded.
Plus, Sara May again accuse u for maltreating her child. But this time u will have it recorded that u dint do anything like that.

c)third camera around that window, from where the Sara s women frnds frighten u and disturb u. Now, if at all the women recorded in first and second cameras happen to be same as recorded by the window--camera, then it can be an evidence against her.
But take care of a few things with this idea,
**before u fix these cameras u shld have a permission in written. Otherwise, later, Sara May accuse u of disturbing her privacy.
**cameras shld be able to record both audio and video very very clearly.
**save the recordings at multiple places like one in ur laptop and one in ur email account and one in ur bank locker and one at ur friends home. But try to preserve the original copy because court gives more importance to the original one. (forensic science issues)
**try to hide the locations of cameras from Sara. Because we really want her to do something that wud reveal her real face. Otherwise she will be careful with Wat she says or do.

2)
try to gather people from church after consulting father or the main priest. (sorry, i don't know much about the churches) He May help u with choosing the Ryt people who wud help u reliably. These ppl May speak about ur social behaviour and attitude in court.

3)
be very very careful about the rules and regulations of the building made by the authorities. Keep the volume of tv etc low and stuff like that.

4)
don't make changes with the dosing of ur medicines. Like u said, whenever u tried to taper the dose it has alwz caused u to suffer from withdrawal side effects...disturb ur peace of mind. See, 4everme, when our mind is not stable, or when it is irritable we tend to have impulsive nature and make mistakes while making decisions. That's exactly what Sara wanting from u. So try to keep urself as much calm as possible.
Try to avoid drinking alcohol as much as possible because, alcohol causes accumulation of alprazolam (xanax) in body. More the accumulation of drug inside ur body more will be the side effects. So...!

As the date of hearing comes close, Sara will become more and more devil to plot lies against u and moreover to provoke u, so that u make some mistake!
But i know that u won't lose ur patience. Just follow what frame sir told, take every provocative trigger or act as if u r watching a horror movie. Don't react Don't speak Don't fight with them.

Do maintain a notebook to have everything written and well organised. It will help ur advocate.

U will know enough about ur medicine Alprazolam from this link.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alprazolam

But use the drug information after u are over with this court thing...for ever!

I can understand, everyone here, are asking u to do this and that. But u are all alone to suffer everything. But it's just the matter of one month.
Try everything that u can do. Then we will think about ur job and mom and a halt u have been dreaming of to breath! then there will be No more Frisbie thing!

[4EverMe]

Hi you all!
Thankyou so much for the lengthy response. After so much effort you placed into many details, Saragupta, I dread telling you that these aren't things I can do!! Even if I had extra money for cameras & audio devices, these in themselves would be a breach of the r-order; I am not to keep her under any kind of surveillance. Unfortunately, this is just one of the conditions of anti-harassment r-orders. Ugh! If I could, I sure would.
Concerning having a month's time, I'm only going to be living in this apt until the end of this month. Also, I don't have a church I attend.
All I've been able to do lately is journal. If I hear her directing an ugly comment at me, I write it down. As Pilule mentioned, I'd like to dig up some legal things from 'Sara's' past. Coming up w/the $$ for copies of any records is another matter! Moving is milking me dry. Wish I had more answers...
It means a lot to me that you all do care! And thanx for the med site- I'll check that out soon.

[saragupta]

Hey hi
i really don't know what to say...i am really feeling very bad for u. But i will surely pray to my god for u. But u just stay calm and keep yourself filled with patience because i am worried that Sara can try to annoy u so that u get provoked. Whenever ur amid comes in way because of her actions just command urself " don't react. I will not react. I am wiser than u Sara. I know what u have been planning but fortunately i am not alone. I have frnds who are praying for me and i am not going to react just the way u want me to. "
. And then just imagine her rushing back to her room, doing a loud Urrrgghh! And pulling her hair.

I know it sounds childish but sometimes just to maintain our peace and patience of mindthese type of imaginations are really helpful. Humorous mind is always fertile to think in the right direction.

[saragupta]

I am sorry. I had to type "whenever ur ANGER comes in ur way" instead of word Anger, i typed something like amid. Actually i am using phone instead of my laptop. So while using t9 dictionary pattern of typing it happens sometimes.

Okay then all the best.
you will have to think like a devil here(don't take me wrong) if u want to gather evidences against her. You can do this. You will do this. Nowadays this is the campaign slogan of my favourite politician. He says, set ur eyes towards the goal...set ur intentions to be wise and crystal clear and then...and then start working to gain success...because you can & u will.

[saragupta]

Hi 4everme,
Just a thought came to my mind. U have been talking about Sara and her only child. U never mentioned anything regarding her husband or boyfriend. If she is divorced or separated or something like that. I think That Person should be yours first target to have him in ur confidence against Sara. What say?

[4EverMe]

Hi and thank you for each response!
I'm a person who doesn't have a bad temper No need to worry about 'Sara' getting a response out of me. Actually, the real problem is this: She enjoys drama. Although I won't react to her, I feel that by NOT reacting to her, she will make up more lies to cause me more grief. She does not like that I'm ignoring her. It's obvious to me, because her facial expressions are growing more hateful.
It's interesting that you brought up the father of Sara's child. (were never married) But something has been bothering me ever since she lied to get me into trouble. When I hung out with her in the past, her ex would drop off money to her. Sara referred to this money as help to care for their kid...though I don't believe it's court ordered. I wish I recalled what he looks like or his name. The times I saw him in the past were brief. His description sticks in my head, but not so that I'd recognize him on the street. What bothers me? She told me he sexually abused their child...

[4EverMe]

...And the reason this bothers me is because it's entirely feasable to me NOW that she could have made this up. She'd told me that when their child was an infant that he came out and admitted to sexual abuse. She said she kicked him out on the spot. I'd asked if he ever went to jail and she told me No, and that it couldn't be proven. ?? I don't know what to believe. Early in my friendship w/Sara, she told me she thinks her child still remembers him on a 'subconscious' level and she doesn't act comfortable around him. But if this is true, why would Sara allow him into her apartment to give her the money! (with her child there)?! Doesn't make sense, to even allow him onto her porch! Another confusing thing to me is seeing/hearing Sara yelling at him when he was late w/the money. But when he brought it by, she didn't act very angry. She didn't hang out with him long, but I only saw her flip out when he was either late w/the money- or didn't have it. He acted very shy and intimidated. Mental issues too.

[saragupta]

We still have one hope. If Sara is on any social website like facebook, mywebspace, orkut...i don't know other sites which might be prevalent or popular in America. U can search her list of added friends list. May be u would find someone familiar to her ex's face.
U should tell ur advocate about this. He might have been into such investigatory things since like forever! So May be he or she cud come up with a better idea which will not disturb that r-order also.

[4EverMe]

Yeah, I've gotta make sure that nothing I do could be perceived as harassment or keeping under any type of surveillance. I DO have a couple ideas I've been meditating on for a while.

I could always write a complaint letter to the bishop of her church. In her particular church, they have the responsibility of guidance and counseling. Maybe HE could talk some sense into her! And she does pour forth a completely different persona around these people. Very fake, misleading.

Though I know she has several grown sisters, a mother, a father w/a step-mom--all scattered throughout the area (none of whom will have anything to do with her, even if it means forgoing their ties to Sara's child) I do know the name of Sara's dad who lives just down the street. He's listed in the phone book. Shld I write 4 advice? He may not want to "get involved." From what Sara told me in the past, her family stopped having contact w/her when her child was an infant (around the time Sara accused the father of her child of sexual abuse)!

[saragupta]

What is wrong with her?
Why she thinks that every men is after her daughter!
We have to think about a way so that we can ask her dad to help us and along with that we don't disturb the R order also!

I am not sure of what i am suggesting here,
But i think first u shld tell about it to ur advocate.
Then You along with ur advocate shld ask sheriff (or concerned authority) if u can contact her father or not.
Then go to her dad's home along with the advocate to talk.
I am asking u to take permission from advocate and judicial authority because although Sara is no more in relation with her dad but still he is her DAD. So he may tell her and then she can make a scene out of it.
I hope u r understanding everything.

Hey one more thing. If u go to Sara 's dad, do take a Hidden Audio Recorder to record what he says. Because usually what happens, in such cases, witnesses or people change their minds overnight. So u shld have a copy of that. I don't think it shld hamper ur r order. Ask ur advocate.

No, don't write or text or call him. I am saying it again that her father can take Sara's side and can use the log details of ur calls or texts in his phone in many ways...for example Sara can accuse u of harassing or blackmailing her dear daddy.(sarcasm). Directly meet him along with ur advocate. Never alone!
So that ur advocate will be a proof as to how u behaved with the father.

And
Did u try to search that man's face on social sites of Sara?

U know! what is so special-bad-habit of girls.!
When we make good girl frnds, we girls often share a lot of informations about the GUY in our lives...had or have both ones! So i wud like u to try to recall if she had ever told u about him orE-MAILED or Messaged about him, when u WERE frnds.
Just scroll down to ur e mails and previous messages etc etc.
Use these days as much as u can.
Just sit calmly, with a pen and notepad and try to do all these things. I am sure u will find something.

There's a saying in Hindi which means a thief always leaves a mark behind as an evidence, we just need to raise our hunger while searching for it.
So now don't just keep feeling despaired and do everything that u can do. I know u r doing but...u know what i mean!

I am saying this because till now i have been studying very less as compared to my deep potential because of my depression and now my exam is very close and now i think i shld have studied well. But now that time can not come back.
I don't want u to feel this way later.

U have to win this case so that u can think of starting a job and taking care of ur sweet mum!

So come on, come on!
U need to gather urself and spend as much as time over finding a way out.

[4EverMe]

Hi Saragupta,
When I befriended my neighbor Sara, she could only afford a cheap cell phone w/the prepaid minutes. She didn't have a cell phone plan that included internet. She was NOT into social networking sites, as she's not much for socializing anyway! She didn't even txt because she had to watch her minutes. ( No computer) Unemployed, so not much money...
Shortly after developing a crush on a mormon missionary, she was baptized into his church. She started using church computers to look up ancestry stuff, so perhaps she has an email account now. I don't know her email address, or for sure that she has one! If she does, she would NOT put her child's father on her social page! After all, she tells people he sexually abused their daughter once when she was an infant. He doesn't have visiting rights w/their child. (or I'm sure Sara would have told me this in the past). All she expected was that he brought the money by each month. She DID say he was lucky she didn't have him court-ordered to pay!

[saragupta]

Hey 4everme,
it's been a bit long since i had talked to u at this page of yours. Actually i ws thinking of another better option.
Did u meet her father yet???? Umm...any luck so far!!!!

Since u have shifted in a new apartment so i ws thinking, why don't u ask her for "an out of court settlement"??? Don't ask her directly. Ask ur advocate to ask the same thing to Sara's advocate. I mean, she had accused u of harassing and blah blah blah all that bullShitt u never done! BUT now u r no more in her Bluetooth range, i mean vicinity, so she should not have a problem in taking her case back. U can ask her to keep that r order continue for her whole life. Anyhow, who is interested to make contact with her! Ha ha.

[4EverMe]

Hello, my friend. Thankyou so much for taking the time to think of ways I can beat this. The only problem with an out of court settlement is that I'd be paying somehow for something I didn't do. This is why I didn't take the plea agreement deals that the prosecution offered. Ugh! I chose the jury trial rather than paying $500 up front to wear an ankle bracelet for 5 days. This is one of the deals that was offered by the prosecution. I don't have that kind of money to give the court. This deal also included community service (if I remember correctly). It's crazy! I didn't even harass my nutcase neighbor to deserve any punishment. The whole scenario is absolutely maddening and ridiculous. So petty. Very childish. What can I say?

I've yet to speak to my attorney about Sara's father. Thankyou for this idea. I will do this. I'm pretty sure he will not want to get involved. BUT he can be subpoenad. Hmm.

[saragupta]

What the hell!!!!!
No really! I mean, by just reading ur things i sometimes get so irritated, i wonder how u have been dealing with all this PRACTICALLY that too all alone.
Sorry, i had no idea about complete procedure of this out of court settlement thing. I have no idea about the court things. Have seen such things in movies only. Sorry.

And please please read my previous msg on this page if u r still pending with the idea of contacting her father. I hope it will help.
Take care!