NEW MEMBER DOUGSAN

[dougsan]

I have been thinking about chatting in this forum for a long time. I am a 73 yo white male from outside Boston, MA. I am taking Cymbalta for depression and, save for the side effects, appears to be working quite well. Of course, the drug counters the depression but not the root causes of the depression. I'm not convinced after all this time that the root causes can be treated.

I've been depressed since I was about 14, when I made my first blundered attempt at suicide.

[nenkohai]

nice to meet you, Doug.

You, sir, have my respects having gone though all that you have!

with regards,

NK

[hollyann]

Hi welcome to the forum. I'm glad you went ahead and decided to join us. The medicine like you says doesn't treat the root cause, but it should make you feel well enough that you are able to try to cope with it. Have you considered therapy? I know you say you don't know if the root cause can be treated after this time, but therapy has been known to do wonders no matter how many yeas have passed.

hollyann

[dougsan]

Yes I've done quite bit of therapy over the years, when the side effects of my depression get too out of hand

-- uncontrollable rage (during which I destroy furniture in my den, break windows, etc. In the distant past I attacked people when the rage got out of hand. It is not a pretty sight.
-- very strong desires to take my life and to kill certain other people
-- mega weight gain
-- etc.

I preer structured group therapy (set number of people, no replacements when people leave, all participants working with same or similiar problems)

I did have one excellent shrink. He got me to volunteer for detox (booze and drugs) and pushed me towards dealing with some of the side effects of my depression (incapable of leavin the house, riding in a car at night, being among three or more people). We had a falling out, a bad one which was my fault, and haven't spoken as Dr. and patient for a couple of years -- we still chat informally).
He went so far as to give me an open prescription for Seraqel (sp) -- Bottle says: "To be Taken as Necessary" This has been a life saver. When the rage begins to bubble to the surface or the voices get too loud I take a Seraquel and within 5 minutes I am as mellow as I would ever be.

After a long two years when most things that could go wrong did go wrong I am back with a shrink. He's OK but really doesn't know what to do beyond prescribing drugs. Part of his difficulty is my unwilingness to tell him all the root causes of the depression. I told him 75% of what bothers me down deep but the worst I keep hidden. I don't know or trust the new shrink.

I also argue that say one of your root causes is incestuous pedophilia. How do you "deal" with that? How do you "understand" and even try to "forgive"?

Sorry my answer was so long.