Depression Understood Forums

I'm 22 and I think I should be over this by now, and I thought I was but then I stopped drinking for a while a realized I'm nearly hopeless.
I've had the realization before but it has really stuck to me this past year, especially this past month of sobriety, minus a few days in the middle that didn't help me any.
When I was nineteen before I dropped out of college the counselor I saw said she figured I had PTSD but I left soon after that and haven't sought help again because it's something I didn't think I had to address.
Now I wonder if I should, I've been living with my parents again the past year and I only feel like a failure more and more every day because of my situation.
There's no one to talk to for me. I miss my ex even though she left me over a year ago I still think about her. I've dated since then but I can't even stand being around other people most of the time I'm not completely drunk because I get irritated and bitchy.
So I guess it's about time I start looking in to what I can do, besides grow roots in my mattress.

I'm certainly not a pro. Yet, I believe that going back to where the problem might have started (living with parents) without someone to guide you through the pitfalls is asking for more of the same that incapacitates you. Reflecting backwards is a cry for an anchor (I believe) because looking forward is too hard at this time. I feel for you. I've been and are where you are at. Sometimes I'm afraid to take a step out the door because every step takes me to problems I can't begin to figure out how to fix and feelings that are so painful.

GOOD LUCK.

Going back to my parents was a mistake, I knew pretty soon after getting here, but it was the logical idea after she left me. I did think my mom was going to support me, which was a gross overestimation of her empathetic abilities on my part. Looking forward isn't hard there's just nothing there. Reasonably, I have no job, I don't go to school, and the few things I can't give up (dog, birds) make just 'leaving' impossible when I have a friend offer me a place on their couch. When I look forward I see maybe getting another shitty job and trying to save up again but it'll take so long it doesn't even seem worth it. But I could make excuses all day.

Thank you