Depression Understood Forums

My name is Annie and I just joined this forum. I have been looking for a while for a depression group to join and I decided on this one.
I am 50 years old. Have been diagnosed as suffering from depression since 1988. Actually there is no doubt that I was suffering for most of my life but it was after the birth of my daughter that things seemed to really go downhill. As a result of my diagnosis I have been on meds for a long time and have tried quite a bunch of them. None seemed to work and they just kept adding meds on top of meds until I got to the point that I was feeling very few emotions. I just sat there with a smile on my face very rarely adding to conversations. I was like that for many years. Finally my psychiatrist suggested ECT. I was very apprehensive but things just got to the point that I decided I needed something besides meds. I had the ECT at the end of September after becoming suicidal. I had some very good friends who took care of me for two weeks (almost continually) until there was a bed available at the hospital. I had 6 ECT treatments over the course of 3 1/2 weeks. Many talk about the fear of losing their memory with ECT and I must admit I was one of them. I didn't want to forget my children. After the ECT I did forget most of the things that had happened to me in the two week previous to the treatment and the entire treatment period. From what I heard from other people I am just as glad because I had gotten so far gone in my situation that things were terrible. I didn't lose any other memories, I still remembered people and things that had happened in my life.
I will speak just a bit of the difference it has made. People (who have known me for a while) have said that this is the first time that they have heard me laugh. I am having feelings that I haven't had for years. People say that I am so much more outgoing. I suppose for my personal case ECT worked and I am glad that I had it and am back functioning in this world.
Hope this isn't too long.
Annie

Hi Annie,

It's nice to meet you, and a warm welcome here.

I'm sorry to hear you've been battling with depression for so long. You have me beat! I've only been fighting for eight years so far.

I can relate to your post, as I too was once offered ECT (Electroconvulsive therapy -- for those that aren't acquainted with the term).

I did a lot of research into ECT when it was first offered to me. I have to say in my case, I turned it down due to the worries I had concerening memory loss.

I'm so glad to hear your story Annie, and that ECT has been very useful for you, with people now hearing you laugh for the first time in so long. I'm also glad on a purely selfish and personal level to read this positivity about this particular treatment, as it does help open up my own mind about it... I hope it will for others too.

This might be the most obvious question Annie, "But what now?" As you are now in a position to see things more clearly and without the mist of depression obscuring your vision so much, where would you like life to take you?

I'm glad you decided to try this depression support group. I hope we can all be here for each other on these forums and in the chat room.

I look forward to getting to know you better Annie; and again, welcome to these forums.

Take care,

Stephen

Stephen,

Thanks for welcoming to this group.

ECT was first suggested to me more than 10 years ago and due to the negative publicity associated with it I decided against it. It was after my psychiatrist practically threw up his arms because I had tried so many meds that hadn't worked. I figured I had nothing to lose because I couldn't live in that state any longer.

I was put on disability for my pension plan due to the depression,OCD,PTSD that I suffer from so I don't have to work. I am only in my fifties so it is pretty early for me to sit in a rocking chair all day. I must admit that my depression is not all gone nor has my OCD and PTSD disapaited but I am so much better than before.

I have always loved to learn so I am planning on working on a correspondence class that I started many,many years ago. I also am trying to get support from other support groups.

After separating from my husband of many years I am now living with my mother (who is in her 80's). She can no longer live alone so I help her out with things which takes a good part of my day.

I am not suggesting ECT is good for everyone I just thought that I would share my story. I have lost some of my memory. Before I was worried that I might forget my kids or other important people in my life, or important events but that doesn't seem to be so. The ECT certainly was a godsend to me.

Before I sign off I would just like to say that ECT now is not like the ECT of 20 years ago. You are give a sedative to control the therapy. It is not like in the movies.

Annie

(((((((((((((((((((( Annie )))))))))))))))))

How are things? How is your mother, and you are an angel to care for her as you do. Hope to hear an update from you soon.

Warmie

Hi Annie,

I jwas wondering how you are doing. Your story is so much like many others who come here. People who have been ineffectually treated, whatever that treatment may be. Mental health treatment sure isn't an exact science.

I hope your doing well and glad you chose this forum

Take care

cec

((((((((((((Annie))))))))))))))

Just so you know, I am still here if you need to vent or simply want to talk. Take care.

Warmie