clever1

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clever1
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Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2007 9:53 pm

clever1

Postby clever1 » Fri Dec 28, 2007 10:57 pm

Clever1 here. 31 year old female from MIchigan, USA.

Just finally identified that I have depression in August 2007. Could be childhood, the miscarriage, loss of a twin, but the doc says it is a low level of serotonin in my body that is hereditary. I started meds in August and had the dose doubled in October because I guess I have seasonal depression on top of everything else.

I'm a school teacher. I teach math to 13 year olds and I must be crazy because I truely love it. I have 2 boys: 3 year old in January and 1 year old in March. I'm married, but right now my husband is so stressed with work and school and my depression issues that we don't see each other much. He's looking for a new job and I'm going to seek counseling.

I've really enjoyed chatting with everyone online as it helps me through my evenings which tend to be when I seem to be at my worst. I finally feel that I am not alone and appreciate it more than you know. Thanks and I'm sure that with meds, chatting and counseling, I will be on the right track soon enough.

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Sat Dec 29, 2007 12:28 am

(((((((((((((((clever1)))))))))))))))))

Nice seeing you posting. I am truly sorry for all the things that have come into your life. Life isn't always fair, but it sounds like you are trying to get a handle on things.

Bless you for teaching. Your job is never ending and one that doesn't always get recognition/thank you.

I personally, enjoy chatting with you as well. You bring smiles to me, thank you for that. Glad you found our chat room and hopefully it will boast your moods and thinking, knowing there are people there that truly care.

Good for you on seeking counseling. Not an easy decision to make, but you have. Know I will be here and in the room to give you support in anyway I can.

Warmie 8)

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Stephen
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Postby Stephen » Sat Dec 29, 2007 11:28 am

Hi Clever1,

Welcome to the depression forums.

It's always a joy to talk to you in chat room -- you're a very welcome addition to our little "tribe". I'm glad you find some solace and benefit from this website... and in return, you also give so much.

As for teaching: I used to teach business studies to 13 - 18 year olds. Personally I found it a very thankless job; but that was in the UK where the teachers have very few methods to keep the students in check. I'm glad that's not been your experience of teaching and that you enjoy your job. [Jesus! I'm digressing!]

Hopefully with all the changes you're trying to make in your life (counseling, medications etc), you will soon get to a happier place, and find contentment again soon.

I'm mainly always about -- as you have probably worked out by now -- and so I hope to talk/or post to you here soon.

Take care,

Stephen

clever1
Posts: 14
Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2007 9:53 pm

Discussion

Postby clever1 » Sat Dec 29, 2007 2:36 pm

Stephen-
I have noticed that you are online a lot and that seems to help connecting with some of the regulars. Here's a question to ponder...did you ever feel that you were on the road to recovery, but those that you love/care for, are confused with all the changes that are being made? They don't know how to relate to you and avoid you when you feel that you are actually sane for once? I guess I will just need to add that to my list of questions for the counselor. See you in the chat room......

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Stephen
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Postby Stephen » Sun Dec 30, 2007 7:51 pm

Hi Clever1,

I'm glad I'm being of some use to you to help you to connect to the regulars -- I'm sure Jeanie and others have helped too.

I actually don't like the word "sane":

They don't know how to relate to you and avoid you when you feel that you are actually sane for once?


... to me it implies "insanity" which to me, personally, tarnishes others views of depression and other mental health problems. It seems a retrograde step in how mental health is viewed by the few lucky ones not affected (sorry, ranting here -- but I hate the way depression -- for example -- is still viewed in this day and age as "insane"/"crazy"). This brings me neatly on to the pondering question...

When I've been in a state of recovery I've found the opposite. Perhaps there is a slight feeling of, "How do I now communicate [with this person]?" But ultimately, I've mainly received encouragement from my loved ones and friends.

The worry I have when I'm "in recovery" is that the support I receive will be withdrawn before I can really stand completely on my own two feet again.

Anyway, these are my musings on this subject. -- What do you think Jeanie?

Take care, and talk to you both soon I hope.

Stephen

- I was also pondering your "tab" key problem Clever1 (that you spoke about in the chat room)... it really should work, as it works for others, but you could trying signing into the depression chat room via the following link (it's a different chat window applet, and so perhaps the "tab" key will work using this alternative method):

http://www.depression-understood.org/ma ... nchat1.htm

clever1
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Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2007 9:53 pm

Postby clever1 » Sun Dec 30, 2007 10:22 pm

Stephen-
I guess I should clarify. I don't find depression as a sanity/insanity claim. Remember this is all new to me and I guess I will choose my words better in the future. I guess what I mean to say that when you are on the road to recovery, and you feel like you are level-headed for a change, loved ones do not know how to relate because they fear you may snap again.
Specifically I am dealing with the issue of a few friends who find that I'm good now, but I was good back in August when I first started taking the meds, but then went "downhill" when seasonal kicked in. My meds have been adjusted and I feel great, but those around me fear that I will just go "downhill" again. I feel clear-minded for the first time in ages and have asked them to tell me if they see me going "downhill" again if I don't. I guess counseling is going to help tons in helping me relate to others again....Dang holidays. You would think that with depression at a high around the holidays the offices would not be closed until the 3rd. Oh, well. Happy Holidays and thanks for listening.

Kimberly:)

P.S. The link you provided helped and I am able to do the tab thing;) Happy New Year!!

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Sun Dec 30, 2007 10:34 pm

((((((((((((Stephen)))))))))))))

Thank you for recognizing me and yes I do try to help. Some ignore that, but that is all right.

... to me it implies "insanity" which to me, personally, tarnishes others views of depression and other mental health problems.

s still viewed in this day and age as "insane"/"crazy").


Couldn't have stated it any better. Thank you for finding those words.

But ultimately, I've mainly received encouragement from my loved ones and friends.


Hope I am in that count. :D (((((((((Stephen))))))))))))

Warmie / Jeanie 8)

clever1
Posts: 14
Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2007 9:53 pm

Not Forgotten

Postby clever1 » Sun Dec 30, 2007 11:29 pm

Jeanie--
I hope you don't feel forgotten. I have noticed how much time and energy you put into making this place effective. I'm sorry if I didn't state it earlier, but you are amazing and I appreciate all you have done so far.
Thank you,

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Mon Dec 31, 2007 2:14 pm

(((((((((((clever1)))))))))))))))

Thank you.....

Warmie 8)


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