hi

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jain
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu May 19, 2011 12:43 pm
Location: St. Louis MO USA

hi

Postby jain » Thu May 19, 2011 1:00 pm

I have suffered from depression and anxiety my entire life. Its always been one messed up situation after another. I don't even know where to start. It would seem simple to start at the beginning but I can't even remember all of that.

I'm so alone and lonely. I'm looking for resources that are inexpensive, but I am not having any luck.. I am so frustrated.

I have an 11 year old son and no support for him. I can't go out like normal people because I never have a babysitter. Sure I can leave him alone for a few hours, but I always feel guilty about it. It doesn't help he was hospitalized for being suicidal back in september. I must be a wonderful mother...

I keep trying to connect with people in the chat but it just isn't working. I dont know what to do. I feel sick about all of this. I just need a friend.

I am a social worker, I help people with mental illness find employment. I have insurance, but I cannot afford the copays. I am filing bankruptcy and am barely surviving. I'd get a second job but I have no one to watch my son.

I have been on medication before, I have some benzo's and trazadone left for sleep and panic attacks, I am not on antidepressants anymore and I really do not notice any difference in how I feel inside. I dont think the medication works.

Please don't tell me to go to church. I dont believe in god. But I need some support, somewhere to go. I just don't know where to go or what to do.

I don't have any family that cares about me, and I didn't do anything to them, they are just all mentally ill as well and wrapped up in their own dilemmas. I do have a few friends, but most of them live far away. The ones that live close don't have children and don't understand the situation I am in because of this.

Any advice? Anything

shatteredhopes
Posts: 664
Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2009 1:39 am
Location: U.S.

Postby shatteredhopes » Thu May 19, 2011 6:17 pm

(((((((jain))))))))) I've spoken with you in chat and glad to see you have joined the forum. Please keep trying in chat, eventually you may find someone you connect with, I did but it took a long time.

Do you have long distance on your phone or anyway to email or chat on line with friends who are far away? My friend is many miles away but we talk everyday and that helps with the loneliness a whole lot.

I am sorry you cannot afford copays, I'm in the same boat and its terrible when you can't get therapy or treatment to improve and are stuck...I feel bad for you because I know how hard that is.

The only thing I can suggest is what I suggested in the chatroom, volunteering somewhere where you can bring your son and potentially connect with people. Your previous therapist had suggested getting away from political involvement, but maybe that might be something to ease into slowly again to meet people and socialize with like minded folks? I know I have met people through political involvement, and been offered part-time work too, although I know that would be tough with your son, but with campaigns gearing up, eventually you might be able to make some pocket money making phone calls or knocking on doors? Its temp work and so wouldn't be long term commitment and maybe you could bring your son to the office with you, I dunno. Since you are a social worker, what about one or two private practice clients a week? Would that be possible?

I don't really have any more ideas for you, but please know we are here for you. Sometimes just talking or writing things out helps me. I hope you find it helpful too.

shatteredhopes
Posts: 664
Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2009 1:39 am
Location: U.S.

Postby shatteredhopes » Thu May 19, 2011 6:36 pm

One other quick thing, do you get the newspaper or look at it online? Or are there any free newpapers that advertise local events? Sometimes I find out about free activities that way. Recently there's been something about an anxiety/depression support group that I'm hoping will work out for me. But also lectures, etc., that are free and gatherings you might be able to go to with or without your son to meet people or at least be around some people and socialize a bit.

I know how frustrating it is to be at the low income level where ananchronistic federal poverty standards don't really recognize you as poor even though you are so you can't get extra help or support to get treatment or food assistance and other things to help you get by.

Big big hugs. Wishing you light and peace in your day.

jain
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu May 19, 2011 12:43 pm
Location: St. Louis MO USA

Postby jain » Thu May 19, 2011 9:46 pm

I actually work 9-5 most days. I have went to meetup.com and looked at a lot of groups but they just don't seem to work out with my schedule. I don't find much thats kid friendly.

I'm thinking about going to the ethical society, but I guess its my social phobia or something stopping me. that and the fact that I dont wanna get up on a sunday morning.

It'll work out I am sure.

thank you for responding shattered. (((hugs)))


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