New here Dec.4/08

[D.]

Hi my name is Daniela.

I've been feeling extremely down. I was laid off of the job I loved 6 months ago, I haven't been able to find another job. I had many interviews but nothing came through.

I will be 30 in 3 weeks. I might have to go back to school because the jobs I've interviewed with said that I am underqualified. SIGH

Every week, at least, I experience depression, don't wanna get out of bed. I can sleep for near 12 hours if allowed.

I've been hating the way I look, everything I have, I've been avoiding contact with people (and family) because I know I don't look very presentable and I don't wanna even put make up on.

I knew I was moody before the lay off. I usually get really moody around PMS, but usually external things ticked me off. Now, I it's internal.
I've avoided a mirror in the past 2 days.

I will go to a career counsellor to see if I should change careers to make me happier. I don't know, I don't even know what I want at this point. One thing is for sure, I want the pain to go away, the pain deep in my heart.

I think I've lost myself. I get really depressed when I go on facebook and see that most of the people I know are doing good, happy, married/with new baby, or have achieved their career goals. I wonder, why can't I have that happyness?
Why?

People that care about me tell me that things will work out, that cliche..., the right job will come and will be better..blah blah..it's been close to 7 months that I am jobless. I have a university degree, and settling for a cashier's job it's my very last option.

Where did I go wrong? It's complicated. It hurts me to talk about me, I can't think about my life without shedding a tear of sorrow. Somehow I've forgotten all the times I was happy, I don't know if I was ever trully happy for more than 1 day at a time.

I even had the courage to tell my BF to find someone else, that I've got no right to hold him back while he can find someone who can make him trully happy. I also told him that if a great job came along and if I had to choose between him and the job, I would choose the job.

Anyone in similar situation?

Thanks D.

ps: I do want to get better, I haven't given up yet. I do all sorts of research and I found out about foods that boost the mood, I'll try it out and let you know how it goes.

[tammy]

Hi Daniela

I'm new here too and yours is the first message i happened to read and i soooo identify with your situation. I'm 32 and also lost and depressed. I can't find a career path even though i have a degree and am actually about to quit my job cause i can't stand it anymore and may very well end up unemployed for a while and stuck at home getting more depressed. I also don't know how i got to this point and feel that everyone else is getting on with their lives while im stuck and can't get it together. Plus i don't even have a boyfriend to comfort me, and feel like no one around me understands. There's even more but i think i got the point across that, to answer your question - yes there's someone going through something very similar!
Hope tis helps, i know it's helping me to read these posts and know that there are people out there that can understand.

tammy

[D.]

Thanks Tammy!
At this point I'd say don't quit your job. You don't wanna end up like me. I was forced out of my job, so I feel betrayed. I have a lot of anger. The worse of all, is that my BF still works where I used to work. The same time I was let go, he was promoted. So I do resent greatly the fact that he's better off then I am. Makes me wanna end everything.

It seems like the grass is greener on the side of the fence, all the time.
If I was in your situation, with a job, I'd be happy. But then again, it's just how I feel and the motives I have, to feel the way I do. You have entirely different motives to feel the way you do, and I respect that.

If you need to chat some more, you can pm me.

D.

[kndm]

Hi Daniella and Tammy - I can totally relate to you both. Heck I just signed up on this site two seconds ago and this was the first post I read and thought..WOW...that totally sounds like me!!!! Maybe this site might be good for me! I am in exactly the same situation as you Daniella. Almost word for word. I have a degree too and I've had a few "jobs" but no real 'career' yet. I don't know if I'll ever find one. I thought I did but I was "let go" 3 weeks ago. Now I am trying to find other employment but I have completely lost all faith in my judgment and lost all my confidence.

I am off to read more posts I just thought I would write to this one seeing as it most closely fits me and why I visited this site. BTW ..my name is Kris.