Not Here... Trigger?

Open discussion about pets: training tips, stories, etc.

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crystalgaze
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Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:11 pm
Location: USA

Not Here... Trigger?

Postby crystalgaze » Fri Aug 07, 2009 1:08 am

My dog died tragically last month. I noticed a change in myself. I'm a lot quieter now. I almost don't feel any thing.

My neighbor's dogs came near me sometime in the last month soon after my dog died, which has never ever happened any time prior. It's as though they came to comfort us.

They're two cute dogs I've dubbed White Paw + Brown Paw. (White paw actually has white patches on her paws + brown paw has brown patches on her paws. There's also a white cat, but I haven't named him/her yet.)

Something is lurking somewhere. I know it. I'm not sure if I'll be strong enough to face it. I've been in a low period for some time. It's partly because I don't have much control over my immediate environment. It's partly 'cause I can't *really* have peace at the moment.

I am working toward it, but it's taking longer + longer (& I'm gaining weight again.... Oh noes!)....

I've been distracting myself in between, but it's weird how even though it looks like a good thing, it's still utterly destructive. Then again, is there any thing you can do that does not have risks associated with it???

Example: The activity I've been burying myself into lately is computer stuff. Somehow they got infected with badware.... so I've been trying to fix them now for some time. The one that has posed the biggest problem is the family desktop. I might be home free for now.

The thing is that doing computer work for extended times is bad for me. My eyes will hurt. It makes my near-sightedness worse. There's that headache that won't quit. It's possible I'll get another seizure. I usually end up neglecting myself--not eating, not going outside (stuff like that). I'll get so absorbed.

I am even finally trying to figure out/learn Ubuntu (Linux). Maybe I'm trying to run/escape from something.... I guess I'll get there at some point, but right now, I believe I'm too tired to fight.

Then, we have the good part about it & that there's something that's actually holding my interest! Go figure.... The bad there is I haven't turned it into something that can make money.... Oi....

What to do.... What to do.... :-)

aim
Posts: 974
Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 4:40 pm
Location: USA

Postby aim » Fri Aug 07, 2009 8:00 pm

(((((crystal))))) I'm so sorry about your dog! From one pet lover to another... I'm SOOOO SORRY!

I think it's just good to bury yourself in anything that peaks your interest, really. Having interests is great, and often difficult when you have clinical depression.

Good for you!


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